Sunday, August 05, 2012

Wedding Wishes…

skits’ shoes :: clifford, mi :: july 14,2012

When I first met Wendy, I knew her as Skits. Then, she became Bitca. Then, it was Wendy. And now… it’s WendyandMark. She’s always going to be Skits to me, though. It’s just the way I roll, I guess.

Out of all the internet friends at her wedding, I was the only one who didn’t meet her on Facebook or Flickr. I met her back when blogs were the only way to meet people with similar interests. You know, back in the dark days of the internet. Elebenty billion years ago. I didn’t hold that against the Flickr friends, mostly because I was in awe of all the talent and skill surrounding me. If I had been smarter, I would have pulled my camera out and followed most of them around like a little puppy dog.

But, I wasn’t.

I started having some pretty severe panic attacks right before I left to go to the wedding. They were so bad that I was playing phone tag with my drug dealer in airports, hotel rooms and rental cars. Why pull my camera out and show what a talentless fraud I was? I may have a Big Fancy Growed Up Camera, but I still haven’t made the time to really learn how to use it, and I was irrationally terrified that it would show.

After the vows and official pictures were done, all the guests got paper lanterns to set loose in the skies over Michigan. (I lost count of how many UFO jokes were made, but there were quite a few.) I don’t know about the other guests, but as soon as my lantern started begging to be let free, my wish popped into my head.  It was crystal clear and to the point. After I watched my lantern disappear, I felt kind of selfish… why didn’t I wish for happiness for WendyandMark? That her visa comes through quickly?

Well, the universe always knows what it’s doing, even if we don’t.

It took a while, but I was sitting in a hotel room in St. Paul, two weeks later, waiting for another wedding, when the universe started to clue me in that it did hear my wish, and damnit, it was going to come true.

I haven’t fenced in a long time - almost 2 years now, because of work and health issues - but I was getting furious that day about not being able to find any Olympic fencing bouts either on the internet or on TV. (We live in the 21st century. This stuff is commonplace. Why is it so hard to build an app or stream video?!?!) My passion surprised me (still does -if you’ve seen my FB statuses lately you’ll understand that statement), but I knew I wasn’t going back to SFC. I wasn’t comfortable there, which is probably why I’ve not really made the effort to get to open nights. I didn’t know what I was going to do though… only that I wanted to get back into fencing. It’s a hike, but if it works out, I’m going to start fencing again with the CFC. I just need to email them and get some questions answered.

Then came the realization that I had to leave the restaurant. I needed to work for only one company and it had to be SG. Period. My replacement starts on August 13th.

I’m back with my knitting group. Tuesdays have never been so much fun! I like that I’m smart enough (or crazy) to push the limits of what knitting can do and show others how to make it less complicated.

On September 29th, I sit for the CMA exam, part 1. It’s a big deal to me, and I’m terrified I’ll fail on the first try, but I will pass both parts. I’m not going to accept anything less.

In October, I will start marching with the Muchachos Drum and Bugle Corp. Back in the drum line. The one place in any band where I felt like I belonged.

Somewhere in the middle of all that will be a photography class.

Somewhere in the middle of all that will be a week’s vacation.

Somewhere in the middle of all that will be proof that my wish came true…