Sunday, November 20, 2011

Oh, my heart…

I broke down and bought R.E.M.‘s final album, ironically titled “Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Part Garbage”.

Of course, I own 99% of the songs on there, but it’s what I do. I support my favorite band by buying their stuff… not that it matters anymore because they can support themselves off the millions they’ve already made from people like me. They don’t need the $15 I spent on the same songs I already own.

I’ve been listening to it this morning, and the songs they’ve chosen are obvious to say the least, but they do show the band’s progression from the IRS years to that last steaming piece of crap they released.

It’s been an interesting journey through my memories - every song is a streetlight and every streetlight is a reminder…

I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that my entire life to this point has been condensed into 40 songs.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being moved to the point of tears. That I’m still in mourning.

It’s easier to leave than to be left behind.

I’ve read all the articles I’ve been able to find and I still can’t fault the band for their decision… although part of me wishes that Bill Berry hadn’t made such a stink about not wanting to be the guy that broke up R.E.M. Maybe it would have been better back then. They really could have gone out on top of their game. I mean, the pure beauty of NAIHF would have been a great way to bow out gracefully.

Up, Reveal, Around the Sun, Accelerate, Collapse into Now - they would have never existed. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing…

I don’t think I’ll be able to come to terms with their breakup as long as I keep listening… but I can’t stop listening. It’s the soundtrack to the last 31 years of my life. How do you just walk away from that?

At the end of the day, I guess I’m still looking for answers from the great beyond.