Sunday, May 26, 2013

Five hour lunch

yeah, kripke. don’t think we don’t know what you do in your free time!

Remember the days when fandoms were exclusive clubs and the show runners and actors had no idea what the fuck was going on?

*shakes fist at the internet*

——

I went out to lunch today with a woman I used to work with in a previous life. She’s kind of like a surrogate mom to me. (Her daughters are my age, so it’s not so farfetched an idea… and she would have LOVED my father.) As we do, we talked, and talked, and talked. About everything and about nothing. It was nice. I needed some ‘mom’ time and it’s been over a year. Stoopid life kept getting in the way. On both sides.

I talked about my issues with interviewing for the job at Sig Sauer and why I don’t have an opinion on gun control. We talked about gay marriage, abortion… weird shit that we normally don’t talk about, but I opened the door to that when I mentioned the interview with the political place. 

We talked a lot about my job search and how I might have a chance to work for a CPA firm again… she thinks I should get my CPA license. I’m still not sure that’s what I want to do, but it would make my job search easier. It’s one of the biggest things I’m missing on my resume. *sigh* I have the education requirement. I need the work hours and I need to pass a four part exam. (I couldn’t even get myself to take the two part CMA exam and I really want my CMA more than I want my CPA.) Two years at a CPA firm. I’m pretty sure my first year at HWG doesn’t count, and even if it did I’d probably let it slide just so I could have consecutive years.

OK. That last sentence pretty much proves I’m screwed in the head.

That or the fact that I would work two years, get licensed and start looking for a job again that’s NOT in public accounting…

*sigh*

Here’s where my hunt is at so far:

1) CPA firm mentioned above - Tony the Pimp says they want to meet me this week.

2) Collection law firm - interview on Wednesday

3) Payroll funding place - my resume is being passed on to the controller. I think I’m too expensive.

4) Political place - hoping to hear back this week. Already did an email interview and a phone screen.

5) Retirement community - hoping to hear back this week. Already did a phone screen.

6) IT company - hoping to hear back. They were the other one with the email interview questions, and a web survey.

Out of all of them, I think I’d like to work at the political place the most… but I don’t know if I should. It’s in Boston - an 80 minute train ride from Newburyport, which is about a half hour from here. And that’s one way! *sigh* There’s no way in hell I’d be able to find a place to park near Downtown Crossing, plus you couldn’t pay me enough to commute into the city by car.

I have no fucking idea what to do. I suck at looking for jobs.

——

I posted this on Facebook last week:

Netflix: Because you watched [really crappy horror movie]... here’s Dirty Dancing and What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

Me: I can’t argue with that logic.

I now have two friends in a gross-out competition. Right now, it’s tied one-all. I’m not sure what’s worse: that they found something even more upsetting than Ron Jeremy’s killer penis movie or that I’m amused enough by this to make it a competition and keep score. 

——

I don’t think there’s any more I can do with my Johnlock fic so it’s on it’s way to the proofreader. I’m so nervous! It was weird when I made J read it, and now it’s in the hands of a friend of a friend.

I think I want to puke.

That would be exactly why I DON’T write for a living.

Friday, May 24, 2013

My little baby is about to go out in the world.

dog bless the person that grabbed this

OK - first the important news.

I’ve got an interview on Wednesday. My recruiters are picking up steam.

I’ve also played the “I’ve been laid off” card and negotiated a lower cable bill and an extension on my IMA membership. I’m trying to figure out who else I can negotiate a lower rate with… but in the meantime, the resume’s going out and the calls are coming in. Can’t ask for more than that.

——

My JohnLock fic is finally ready to get posted on FFN, but I wanted a proofreader. J is reading it, but I don’t know if I’ll get an honest opinion out of him. I don’t think I’m going to look for a beta. As far as I can tell, betas are usually good for making sure every one stays in character plus doing the usual proofreading. Since I’m using my own head canon and my personal experiences, they’re going to be a little out of character. I’m fine with that because I’ve tried to keep them as close as possible but they’re going to veer off course.

So, I asked my new friend to proofread it. It’s scary, but he’s a very good outside opinion. I don’t think he’d sugar coat his review like Rollz’ might have and definitely not like J will.

Brit-picking is something else entirely. I have a few British friends I can ask to read it, but since I’m a little nervous about putting it out in the world of people I know, I’m going to stick to the excuse that I’m an American. Plus, the more “British” fan fic I’ve read lately (both Cabin Pressure and Sherlock fan fic are based on BBC programs), the more obvious it is that the majority of Americans don’t do a whole lot of research. I know it’s really bad when *I* can brit-pick them. It’s called Google, people!!!! (And really, the last time I checked, Regent’s Park was the closest to Baker St., not Hyde Park. There’s also the small fact that a walk to Buckingham Palace from Baker St is about 45 minutes. 10 or so by cab, but they walked there (Mapquest has the UK in their database and you can get walking directions.)  The sad (good?) thing is that I actually knew those facts without having to look them up. I double checked, of course, but for once, the little voices in my head were right. 

I’m NEVER going to pretend I’m an expert, though, and my author’s note will probably reflect that fact.

I just need to export it from Storyist to Word and email it off.

My baby is finally leaving the nest…

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I love London…

and the hipster-fandom war continues

THE HIPSTERS HAVE THE CREDITS

I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at a hipster post…

And they wonder why we don’t like them.

——

It’s a “Hunger Games” morning over here. Apparently, I need a reminder that I can survive being unemployed and bored out of my mind. And alone. We can’t forget alone.

I’m not a social person, but I do miss being surrounded by people. Even people I don’t like very much. That makes this even harder.

But I’ve settled into a pattern of sorts: drop Guinness off at day care, watch Doctor Who when I get back, then switch to Supernatural if the reruns are good or watch a movie (preferably an absolutely terrible horror flick on Netflix), and then it’s Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, and then back to Netflix. If I’m somewhere else in the house, I can normally find some trainwreck TV (I’m partial to the judge shows: Alex, Judy, People’s Court.)

Dog, that makes me sound pathetic, but since I mostly just listen to them, it makes me feel a little less lonely.

I did have some much needed social interaction with people who aren’t my trainer last night when I finally got back to my knitting group.

My knitting group! It’s been so long - it was awesome to see the majority of the old crew. There’s not a lot of newbies, and some women have been in the group for almost 20 years. It was nice. I got a lot done on the Wallaby and decided I’m going to finish my red socks and probably work on a Wallaby for myself when the socks get boring, but without the pocket and hood. I haven’t decided about the hood since I’m not there yet, but the pouch isn’t really my sort of thing.

If I’m going to be taking the trail into Boston, I’ll have plenty of time to knit the socks - they travel well. It’s about 70-80 minutes to Boston by train. It would take me that long to drive and probably three times as long to find a parking space around Downtown Crossing.

But back to the Wallaby: I know. I know. I just vented about how shitty the pattern was. Now that I’ve done one, though, it will be much easier. It will just make much longer since I’m not a child’s size 6. I’m afraid to even look at the pattern right now to see just how many stitches I would need to cast on. Right now, I’m working with 188 and that feels like it’s taking forever.

——

My phone interview went really well last night and they told me I’d hear back in one or two weeks. In the meantime, I passed up a part time, temporary bookkeeping job. I had to commit to eight weeks and since I’m starting to get some calls, I don’t want to commit to two months of temp work. Even though I could have started today.

As much as I don’t like the idea of commuting into Boston, the money’s better and this job would be worth it.

Wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dear Yahoo!, welcome to tumblr

i’d be worried if they chose wincest

It’s been said that the SuperWhoLock fandom is the largest fandom on tumblr. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s awesome that the SPN fandom decided to welcome Yahoo! in a fashion that truly reflects who we are.

——

The other day, I mentioned companies giving email interviews instead of reaching out to do a phone screen… well, one of those actually worked in my favor and I have a phone screen with them tonight. I’m assuming this is interview two out of dog knows how many.

The weirdest thing about this is that this is a type of company I never thought I’d be interested in working for in a million years. It’s a political group that aligns themselves with the majority of things I support: LGBT equality, Planned Parenthood, the ACLU. (Yes, my inner liberal is showing.) But I’ve never been a political person. I wait until the night before election day to finally make my choice as to who to vote for, even if I already have an idea. I figure by that point, the candidates have already said everything they’re going to say. As long as we agree on my four main issues, I’ll vote for that candidate. What scares me about that is that one day, I may have to vote Republican. Of course, I highly doubt that will ever happen, but you never know.

I’m the worst person to talk politics with. I get emotional. I don’t make sense. If we disagree, I’m likely to hate your guts (temporarily) and hold a grudge (not so temporary).

Yeah.

But…it’s in Boston, they haven’t balked at my salary requirements, and I’m actually pretty excited to have the opportunity to work for a company like that.

In my favor: the fact that I worked for an environmentally friendly heating oil company. (No, you read that right. We blended waste vegetable oil into our #2 oil. Lowers the carbon footprint and reduces the dependency on foreign petroleum sources.) Of course, I didn’t take that job because I believed in what the company did, but as time went on and I got more educated, I grew proud of our product. It makes me look all environmentally friendly, even though that’s not one of my pet causes.

(HOLY CRAP! THERE’S A CHARACTER NAMED “AMY POND” IN THIS EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL! When fandoms collide…)

Also in my favor: I also have a degree in marketing and experience in market research and advertising. Political group - they work on campaigns, so they may need new ways to get their message out.

Despite the ridiculous amounts of resumes I’m sending out, there are some positions I would kill for. THOSE are the ones I’m spending hours on - rearranging my resume to highlight what they’re looking for in the first few bullet points, and writing cover letters that dig into the job description and give details on what I did.  The others get a half-assed cover letter and a resume.

They hit three out of the four: equality, civil rights, reproductive rights. If I could work for a company that pushes for those causes…

Well, let’s put it this way…

It ain’t Sig Sauer.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother’s Day and blow jobs

here’s some matt smith to break up the sherlock / cumberpr0n

“But you know who else deserves it?  The women who have struggled to be, or are still struggling to be moms.  The women who want children but just aren’t in a safe place in life to have them.  The women who don’t want kids and have to listen to a bunch of bullshit about how you’re only worthwhile if you’ve pushed a human out of your vagina.  The women who miss the children they once had.  The women who miss the children they lost before they ever met them.  The women who gave up their children so their child could have a better life than they could provide.  The women who were raised motherless, or with shitty mothers, or who have lost their mothers and are reminded of how alone they feel.  Mother’s Day is a confusing, weird, very-seldom-wrapped-up-with-a-nice-commercial-bow sort of day, and as for me, I salute you all – mothers or not…you’re here.  You’re alive.  You continue to survive.  You are worthwhile and wonderful.  Never forget that.” - The amazing Jenny Lawson

Whether it’s about depression, anxiety, or Mother’s Day, a woman I’ve only met once (and for 5 minutes if that) continues to tell me what I need to hear even when I don’t know I need to hear it.

——

We all know I’m not quiet about the fact that my mother died. That she made my life miserable. Or even that she’s been gone for too many years for my feelings about her to remain this unresolved…

Suffice it to say, I fucking HATE Mother’s Day.

A guy I know, a really young kid, texted me today and wished me a happy Mother’s Day. Even though he picked my brain about The Crazy frequently, I don’t think we ever talked about the choice I made to be child-free. THAT’S not really ever a topic up for discussion.

You want to know about the bipolar? About my fucked up relationship with my mother? About my weird obsession with Johnlock and the actors who fleshed out the characters so brilliantly? Even my quasi-self-harming?

Open. Book.

But kids? Not so much.

Honestly, I’d rather spend hours talking to you about why so many pr0ny fanfic writers never have their characters swallow. Seriously. (This topic REALLY bothered me this morning. Like REALLY bothered me. Ask J. I wouldn’t stop talking about it, and I’m still really curious.)

Wait. What?

How the hell did I go from being all “I hate Mother’s Day” to talking about blow jobs?

Yet another one of life’s great mysteries…

Let’s get back on track, shall we?

There’s been a couple of things going on this week that have pushed this to the forefront.

1) A’s text.

2) MKS’ post about being child-free and why it’s nobody’s fucking business.

3) The actual holiday

4) Having a recruiter tell me that the photo on this entry shouldn’t be my profile picture on LinkedIn because “it might send the wrong message”.

5) The sad fact that there are so many members of The Dead Parents Club and that the majority of them are missing their mothers today.

6) Picking up the “Wonderful Wallaby” again… which inspired this Facebook status: I’m knitting a “Wonderful Wallaby” for a little person who honestly melts my heart in a way no child has ever been able to.

7) Realizing that this July marks four years of friendship with Black Mountain Symphony, and remembering C-Rollz’ reaction when I told him kids were never going to happen.

And you know what?

I started writing this entry to talk about why being motherless and child-free on Mother’s Day sucks. (Even though I’ve got “kids”, they’re always brushed off because they’re “just” animals.)

Only to discover that I STILL don’t want to talk about it.

Blow jobs, however?

Fair game.