Friday, June 14, 2013

Well, when you put it that way…

Once again, tumblr to the rescue!

Yesterday was a day of schmoop and it was what I needed… I needed that reminder that I wasn’t alone. I needed that reminder that I do have a kick ass family.

Today, I got surprised when I got my thank you card from Annie for her shower gift. THE SCHMOOP! I’m not ashamed to admit that I burst into tears when I read it.

She really is the sweetest person ever. And it’s so not a problem for me to drive nine hours round trip to spend four at her bridal shower… it if was a problem, this friendship wouldn’t be four years old. It would have been over after that first trip to Albany with Instrument.

In addition, I got a text this morning which got me laughing until I cried:
There’s gonna be a special treat after I review deathly hollows 2… I’m working on an epilogue for all the surviving main characters… good shit, but don’t be drinking coffee after I post it.

I have an entry that’s been kicking around for a few days now. It’s schmoopy as fuck, but it’s an open letter to someone / a group of someones, who oddly enough, were some of the same people in yesterday’s schmoopfest. It’s definitely going to require some kleenex. Maybe not for the general public, but you never know… I guess it depends which me comes out to play when I get around to actually writing it.

(How many times have I said “schmoop” or some variant thereof? Too many? Schmoop. Schmoop. Schmoop.)

——

In other news, the industry company didn’t make their decision today… I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. They’re saying it’s because the head dude is traveling.

I also applied for an accounting job with a regional sports network. I kind of feel like I’m back in college applying for jobs with hockey teams. It’s like the universe is telling me if I can’t be in the UK, maybe I belong back in sports/hockey somehow.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It’s raining in Rensselaerville, baby…

It’s been an interesting day on Facebook.

College friends, high school friends, and friends from towns/villages I can’t even spell are lifting my spirits today.

It’s been hard work finding a job. There’s nothing out there that I’m qualified for that I haven’t already applied for. Even my recruiters are coming up empty handed.

But, we joked about FB introducing hashtags, #LoveActually, Jammie Dodgers and Jelly Babies, bitched about tourist season, remembered good times (and boys in drag), and quoted Counting Crows.

There was also a conversation about Bellatrix Lestrange and Hermione Granger being dominatrices and doubling up on Harry Potter, but that - thankfully - was off of Facebook. Some of my friends who don’t know about this blog (for a reason) definitely do NOT need to know that that might have been my contribution to the conversation. (Although “Spank my bum, Harry” started my decent into perversion, so he’s not COMPLETELY innocent in all of this.)

I lost count of the number of times that I choked on my coffee this morning, but holy crap it was so worth it. There was even a moment where I was cleaning snarfed coffee off my poor laptop. I have missed you, Duke of Stud, more than I think either of us could imagine. I’m glad you’re better - you’re more yourself than you’ve been in a very long time.

I mentioned the other day that I’ve been crap at “family” - it’s definitely the hardest of my three words. It’s also the one I tend to let slide in pursuit of succeeding with self and create…

I love when I’m reminded that the family I’ve managed to create for myself is pretty damn awesome.

Thank you guys - from the bottom of my heart.

I’m going to go cry now…

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Intimidating boobs!

Oh my motherfucking dog…

I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. EVER. (And I have had some awesome times in my life.)

Nine hours round trip to spend four hours in a haunted castle.

But what an amazing four hours they were.

Annie’s bridal shower was today, and while I’m not into the whole bridal shower scene, I couldn’t miss this. I wouldn’t miss this.

Seriously, I love that girl sumptin’ fierce, and I am (STILL!) beyond humbled that she wanted me there.

Anyhoo, I sat at the troublemakers’ table with my friend Mike’s wife D (I finally met his wife! WOO!), C, Annie’s mom (L) and her friend DD. Holy crap. We were loud, rude, and generally crazy. Then we went outside and talked shit while we (well, they) smoked. Dog bless the smoke breaks.

I don’t even know where to start. 

Let’s start with the “Bad Word” game, since that’s where the intimidating boobs came from. (I’m SO naming my band that!)

We all got five clothespins to attach to our clothing and you had to surrender a clothespin every time you said a word on the list. (Wedding, dress/gown, Charlie, band, honeymoon, and something I’m blanking on now…) C, L and DD start attaching the clothespins to their shirts… well, I say attaching to their SHIRTS. DD decided a few of them were better off hiding in her cleavage or attached to her bra straps. The comment was made that people would be afraid to take the pins from the Chesty Morgans at the table because it would be so hard to take the pins off and not cop a feel.

Of course, I met Annie through the band, and when D tried to trip me up, I told her that I knew a guy who knew a guy who introduced me to Annie. Of course, that wasn’t good enough, so it became I met this guy in college who was part of a group of people who played instruments who played in a bar in Albany with Annie’s friends. Since we weren’t sure (and couldn’t ask at that point) if they were referring to BMS (the band) or a wedding band, I had to get really creative. REALLY creative… and everything I tried sounded worse.

So then, we were talking about the castle. My little brother got married at a castle and when I was trying to tell D that I called it their ‘heterosexual joining ceremony.’ I don’t know which one of us laughed harder.

AND THE INCENSE! I was trying to describe the smell inside of the castle and I was drawing a blank. It smelled churchy and not at all pot smoky. Yep. D, DD and I were in tears at my stupidity.

AND! AND! THE CRAZY WOMAN! I don’t know who she belonged to, but there was the most insane woman I’ve ever met (and that’s saying a lot) wandering around. She kept saying she wasn’t going to talk about a baby shower, or her 5 week old granddaughter, but that’s all she talked about. Then, she came around with PICTURES. PICTURES!!!

She’s telling us about how her granddaughter has a full head of hair, but her daughters didn’t and they were 32 now. C looks at her, straight faced, and says, “Oh, did your daughters’ hair ever grow in?” Then, when the woman passed her photos around, C grabbed her phone and handed it to the woman, telling her to look at HER baby. I’m not quite sure that the woman expected to see a dog, but she took it in stride. Meanwhile, the rest of us were just pissing ourselves. The next smoke break was taken as soon as we could get away from her, and the tears, man, I couldn’t get them to stop.

When it was time to leave, I wanted to pack DD up and take her home with me. She was a non-stop laugh riot. Especially when she was afraid to use the restroom in the haunted bar because she didn’t want a ghost to touch her butt while she peed.

I can’t WAIT for the wedding… chaos and anarchy and good friends… this girl couldn’t ask for anything more!

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

*sigh*

Still in a deep, dark, decidedly not good place…

Jimmy the Pimp is pushing hard to find me my next job.

I’m glad he is, because firing up a computer to do nothing more than read fan fic is proving difficult right now.

Do you think NHES will forgive me for not looking for work this week? I’m so emotionally ill, it’s carried over, and now I’m physically ill.

You know those anti-depressant commercials on TV?

NOT written by the clinically, seriously, honest-to-Dog-I wouldn’t-wish-this-on-ANYONE, depressed.

Shit, I’m so far down in the dumps that just the IDEA of moving at all hurts.

You know how you get the flu and get all achy and miserable? I don’t know about others, but, dude, even my hair hurts. MY HAIR.

I’m going to knitting tonight, despite the fact that leaving the house is the very last thing I want to do, particularly for that reason.

If I don’t force myself, I can’t get past this point. No drugs can compete with this and win.

I know.

I’ve tried.

——

In other news…

On Saturday, Silent P jokingly took offense to being called Silent P… I took a look at the contacts in my phone and am seriously considering sending him the following list.

I have people in my phone named Bear, Boski, Bipolar Bro, C-Rollz, Cute Printer Boy, D, DJ D, Drug Dealer, Duke of Stud, Fingers, FNFTF, Football Boyfriend, Jimmy the Pimp, Little Bro, Maxon, Orion, Rothie, Skinny, Soup, Sprout, Stellen (f), Stellen (m), The Chicken is Boba Fett, Umbatu X Jaboba, and Zop.

I used to have someone named “Carlos Spicyweiner” in there, too, but, uh, we broke up. Again. Maybe I’ll find someone else I can use that for… eventually.

If I ever lose my phone, I feel sorry for the person that finds it. They’re not going to have ANY idea who these people are.

Yeah, I should probably use the real names in my contact list, but I’m the one that has to look at them on a daily basis and I LIKE seeing the crazy names. They crack me up.

And honestly, at this point, I’m going to do whatever the fuck I have to do to keep smiling, even if 90% of them are fake.

Monday, June 03, 2013

I needed a little gingerbatch

I’ve felt ‘off’ all day.

I’ve always called it ‘sick’ when I’m dealing with people who don’t get what a deep, dark, black pit of despair real depression is… I still struggle with telling people what’s wrong with me. Hell, I struggled with telling J the truth tonight about a few things. (None of which belong here… I do keep some things private.) So, I fall back on “I don’t feel well” or “I dunno. Guess I’m just tired.”

It’s hard to look for a job when the voices in your head are telling you you’re completely worthless and that you’ll never find another job.

So imagine my surprise when I came home to this in my Facebook messages:  You are intelligent and have an awesome command of the English language.

Thank you, R2D2.