Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Good Friday

in boston, we get signs on the mbta station ceilings that say ‘stay off the ceiling’...

On Friday, I did four states in one day.

Ah, running away from my shitty life never felt so good.

To start the day off on the right foot, I did lunch with a high school friend, only to learn that we are way more alike than I ever would have guessed. There’s very little, personality wise, that we differ on. It was actually quite scary. I’ve honestly never felt like I had anyone who understands me as well as she does. (Of course, instead of wanting to lean on her, it makes me want to stay away… Borderline personality at it’s finest?)

We talked, too, about the high school reunion that we both skipped. She skipped because she can see everyone she wanted to one-on-one. I skipped because I simply hated high school.

In a completely random moment that I’ve been replaying ever since, she said that she knew I hated high school. She said it was obvious.

Mind. Blown.

Then, while we were at lunch, I made the mistake of checking my email. (While she was in the bathroom! I’m not a complete asshole, but being in the middle of a job search I didn’t want to ignore my email.)

I didn’t get the job I really wanted and I was informed that I was no longer eligible for unemployment benefits.

Thankfully, after I dropped her off, I had time to call unemployment and find out what was going on… paperwork mistake on their side.

Too bad I didn’t get as lucky with the job…

After lunch, it was onwards to visit with my favorite little brother and my favorite kid.

The sweater fit L. IT FIT HIM.

Hot damn, I actually got in done in time. He looked adorable in it, too.

We built a rocket ship out of a box and scotch tape. I amazed myself by having a very good time with him. (Remember, I don’t like kids as a general rule… I’ve made a special effort to get over that for J because I know how important family is to him. If I want to continue calling him my little brother, I should act like a big sister… and that means accepting his wife and kid. Especially the kid. I like T - we got off to a rough start, but we’ve started to bond.)

It’s funny - I’ve been rearranging my trips to CT lately so I can spend time with them - and it’s never enough. Some days, I feel like I could move in with them and I still wouldn’t have enough time.

I’ve finally come to the realization that I need my family. (“Family don’t end with blood, boy” - name the show that came from for extra special bonus points!)

Yeah, it’s small, and a little dysfunctional, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Speaking of family, after I left J’s house, I headed to VT to see Black Mountain Symphony.

What a weird night.

It was like I was member #7:
First, they asked me to help with the sound check (walk around and make sure the mix was good) which completely cracked me up. You know I’ve been to too many shows when they can trust me to tell them if the sound is good.

(It reminded me of when Ben flipped out after an instrument show because I pulled a face during one of their songs. He insisted on knowing what went wrong. I think his exact words were something like, “No one knows us as well as you do, so tell me what the fuck happened.” Nothing happened. I didn’t remember making a face. I didn’t remember anything being out of the ordinary. He didn’t believe me…)

Then, Orion asked me to get him a beer… Normally, I’m not the beer bitch, but none of the girlfriends were there, so I guess it did fall to me.  (Taking advantage? Helping out? Six of one, half dozen of the other? I didn’t care - I needed the distraction of flirting with the bartender.)

One of Annie’s friends showed up, so I hung out with her and her girlfriend… The friend (J2) bought me a Coke because I don’t drink, but when she saw me with a beer in my hand, she gave me this LOOK. When I told her it was for Orion, she was OK. It amused me to no end.

These kids are out to corrupt me - between being told that I’d be more fun if I got high and filling my recycle bin with beer cans and booze bottles, it’s obvious they’re a terrible influence on me. *grin*

After the show, this woman climbed Bill like a tree (climbed up on a chair and everything) to give him a hug. It was hilarious. I’ve never seen anything like it.

J2 and I talked for a little bit about how they’ve become my family. After 4 years, they really have. I love them, and I’d do just about anything for any of them. (Except get high. I’m not sure they’d get the anticipated results. Plus, prescription drugs and illegal drugs generally don’t tend to mix well.)

There were a couple of odd moments throughout the entire day that I can’t/won’t blog about… but they certainly made my day. 

Every once in a while, I need those reminders that I’m important to more people than just the Hubby of Wonder.

Every once in a while, I need to be surrounded with people who really know me.

Every once in a while, I need to be surrounded by good music and good friends.

Every once in a while, I get it all in one day…

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Is ten too many?

it’s better with the sound

Between creating a more “British” CV, trying to learn a new language (seriously, WTF is an “Accounts Assistant”?), and trying to decide what the proper salary range is, I’m going fucking NUTS.

Using my earlier decision to “fling stuff” as a basis for my job search, I’ve been pretty much just looking at the job description and seeing if my experience is a match. A lot of them are blind ads from recruiters, but that may work in my favour for the job search. It’s guaranteed to fuck me with NH unemployment. (They don’t like staffing agencies, but how the hell am I supposed to find a job if everything I’m qualified for is through a staffing agency? Suck it, NH. That’s a legit job application.)

Ten CVs are out in the world today, (and yes, I’m using the term CV to differentiate it from my American resume if only in my head) so hopefully one of them leads to something. It just sucks that a lot of these employers ask if you need to be sponsored/need a work visa to be qualified for the job. I don’t know how that affects my chances, but there has to be SOMEONE out there who needs a damn good accountant, and doesn’t care that I’m coming from the US.

Shit. I’ll pay to relocate myself. I was going to move over there any way until I found out they took away the visa I could have used.

One random fact that I find very amusing is that I worked for this company that had a really small sales office in the UK (2 sales guys, everything else was handled in the US) and Martin, the UK guy I worked with the most, made fun of me always writing my dates in the American style. Because of him, I started doing dd/mm/yyyy to the point where I have to think about doing it the “right” way here. Generally, I just write it out: 3 October 2013, but when I have to do mm/dd/yyyy it screws me up.

I’ve been doing it for YEARS and it actually helped me fill out a lot of the UK applications. It sounds stupid, but having to go back and change the dates to the UK format every.single.time. would have gotten old very quickly.

——

That job I interviewed for - the one I didn’t think I was qualified for? I’ve had three different recruiters call me on it.

Guess I’m not as unqualified as I thought I was.

It just scares me that they have SO MANY people working on it. The recruiter I got the interview through had seven people there yesterday. SEVEN. How many have other recruiters sent on? How many applied directly through the website?

The opportunities this job will afford me make it my number one choice if I’m stuck in the US.

I don’t want to think I’ve lost it before I’ve been invited for the second interview, but I refuse to get excited about something where there are so many applicants being interviewed.

I do not think the odds are in my favour.

——

Big day in CT tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing an old friend and giving Logan his sweater.

Of course, my debit card was compromised, so I can’t use it in my travels. I have another, from another bank, but I haven’t set it up. I guess I should now.

*sigh*

——

By the way, I showered and put on pants again.

Even if I hadn’t looked for work in the UK, today would still have been a success.

*grin*

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Of love and loss

don’t be… dead. would you do that just for me? just stop it. stop this.

I’ve been working like a mad woman on Logan’s sweater. (I love that kid. I really do. He’s the first kid to ever receive that honour.)

I received a package in the mail today from a friend. (I feel loved. I needed that.)

Found out a girl I went to high school with lost her battle with cancer. (Um… do I need to tell you that’s the loss part?)

It was hard to read that news.

She’s got several kids, single mother, breast cancer… it’s about as shitty a situation as they get.

I can’t even wrap my head around that.

Bye, Jenn. I hope you’ve finally found the peace you’ve needed.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Sixty seven. SIXTY SEVEN!!!!

i love the wholock fandom

So… as I posted on Facebook last night, today would be my father’s 67th birthday.

I can’t picture him as an old man. He’s frozen in time at the age he was when he died, and I guess that’s a good thing. Just weird to think about how much has happened - how much is left to happen - since he’s been gone.

Yeah, I’m bumming pretty hard today.

But, I have good friends, REALLY good friends who have been reaching out and making me laugh, or giving me warm fuzzies, or just making me feel like I matter, like I’m still important. I don’t know how to put it better than that.

Thank you, guys… maybe one day I’ll be able to thank you in person. (Why do you all have to live so far from New Hamster?!?!)

 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Two kinds of friends…

the ninth doctor is definitely underrated

I had two different friends message me today.

One told me that if I didn’t shut up about the bipolar and the obsession with moving to the UK, I’d never find another job in the States because a) I’m crazy and b) it’s obvious I’m not going to stay there long.

One told me that we should start our own company and that I could run the UK branch.

Well… let’s look at this realistically.

I can’t do anything about the bipolar. I really can’t. It’s there. It’s being treated. I do the best I can with it.

As for the move, well, I can try and do something about that, but the pessimistic part of me knows it will never happen.

Because. Really.

Let’s pack up an entire house, two people, two dogs, and a cat.

Let’s try to sell a house in a neighborhood full of foreclosures.

Let’s find a job without being able to do in-person interviews.

The list goes on.

The optimistic part of me assumes we’re going to be there by the end of 2014.

Of course, now that Sherlock has been rumoured to start on Halloween, I’d love to be there by then. I’m not sure if I can pull it off, but it’s worth a try. *grin*

Part of me is terrified about making this change. I mean, I’m moving across the fucking ocean! That’s huge.

Part of me is raring to go. It’s time for a new adventure. A new life.

I don’t know how that will affect me working (killing time) at another job in the States… I can’t say anything about it, because I simply don’t know.

The goal is to find a job with an international company and use that as a stepping stone. But if I can’t, I can’t.

In the meantime, I’m just going to keep throwing my resume out there and wonder what it’s going to take for me to find a place I can stay for longer than a month.