SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT

OH MY GOD. THIS BOOK IS EVERYTHING I WANTED IT TO BE AND MORE.

Image shamelessly “borrowed” from Bunnywest’s tumblr.

OK. So.

If you remember, the entry where I talked about dicks. (Lots of dicks. ALL THE DICKS.) you’ll remember that I completely orgasmed over a Bunnywest fanfic. (And I actually searched for the entry so I could link to it ! Look at me!)

Weeeeeeeelllllll, she wrote a book.

And I devoured that fucker in between bouts of swearing at iTunes / Apple Music / whatever the fuck Apple is calling it now. DEVOURED.

YES. IT IS SO GOOD IT DESERVES SOME SERIOUS ALL CAPS LOVING. AND THE REALLY GOOD LUBE.

There is something amazing about her writing, and whether it’s Steter / Stetopher / original characters, she always delivers. I think the majority of my AO3 Teen Wolf bookmarks are her stories.

I don’t remember how I found out about it, but now I see that she’s co-written an entire series of LGBTQIA+ stories with Discontented Winter. (And - rabbit hole alert! - this just made my entire fucking, um, 15 minutes.)

I’m going to need to get a tumblr account again just to follow those two.

Just like I had to get a new twitter account for the balloon ladies tracker.

Every time I think it’s OK to get rid of an orphaned account, AS SOON AS I HIT “DELETE MY ACCOUNT”, shit happens.

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

An entire lifetime ago, when I bought the new MBP, I decided to shelve the old iMac. I didn’t need two computers on my desk; not when one of them basically served as a jukebox.

I took my little LaCie drive that had my iTunes library on it, (bought a FUCKING ADAPTER. For fuck’s sake, Apple. STOP IT.), and fired up the Music app.

Holy Jesus motherfucking crispy Christ on a fucking bike.

I had multiple versions of songs. And I don’t mean twelve different versions of R.E.M.‘s “It’s the End of the World…” - I have twelve of those because it’s on Best Ofs, bootlegs, and studio albums.

I mean I have six different “Spin, Spin, Sugar” files in my hard drive, each one sitting happily as a line in the iTunes song listing.

Apparently, the app made a habit of creating a music folder when 1) it downloaded a song and 2) every time it decided / forced me to “organize” my library.

So, I had music folders in music folders in music folders in music folders in.. you get the gist, yes?

And every single one of those folders held MY ENTIRE MUSIC LIBRARY.

I filled up a massive external hard drive with music because Apple decided to duplicate my music folder every fucking time it felt like it.

I’ve been cleaning it up in bits and pieces because when you have a dozen files named “01_Intro” you have to be VERY FUCKING CAREFUL. (Why do bootleggers all name their files like this?!?! I mean, I love the consistency, but I can’t tell if that intro is from Boston ‘95 or Boston ‘03. Just sayin’...)

I’m also overwriting the metadata on the music files - I HATE transliterated Ukrainian, so I’m putting everything into Cyrillic. Now, everything shows up in iTunes the way God intended it to. (But seriously, fuck record labels who use transliterated Ukrainian on albums.)

I’ve been buying new music on the phone and then downloading it to the computer. THEN, I have to go into the new, clean, pretty, hard drive, REMOVE THE MUSIC FOLDER, and put the songs where they actually fucking belong.

It doesn’t seem to like the fact that my music folder is “LaCie/iTunes/Music” - I’m pretty sure that’s what’s confusing things… but when I have the location as “LaCie/iTunes” Apple rejects the location and claims it can’t find my iTunes library.

I have some random files still to find and I am missing entire R.E.M. bootlegs, so that’s going to be a search. I also need to pull the playlists off the iMac at some point.

But, I’m considering the task done.

I can listen to music when I’m sitting at the computer again.

I’ll take that as a win.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In other news, I only finished the 5K and the 10K this year. Dopey attempt #2 shat the bed.

(The husband was there to watch the epic fail, but that’s a story for another time… it only took a $50 gift card to Pure Hockey (which I bought before he became an unsupportive ass thankyouverymuch) for him to understand what it means to support someone. grrrrrrrrrrrrr)

I know there’s a lot of factors at play and the asthma seems to be the biggest issue. I was struggling to breathe after pushing myself for 9 miles and a medic practically forced me off the course.

I hated the pulmonologist I saw, so I have to find another one.

I’m also trying to figure out what I do about running… I had a goal to move every day, even if it’s just a mile on the treadmill in my jammies.

And I promptly threw that plan out the window and have been sat here, licking my wounds, and refusing to even think about the treadmill.

2023 and I are not getting off to the best start.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh wait.

I lied.

I’m a lying liar who lies because…

I HAVE HIT A MUSICAL TRIFECTA.

I’m seeing Matt Nathanson (Mike Nickerson? Matt Petty? Whatever the fuck his name is.) in February. Dropped a shit ton on the pre-show hang, too. Love those extra moments with him. Even if I can’t remember his name.

I’m seeing БУМБОКС(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) in March. They’re finally coming overseas. I mean, I forgive them for cancelling on last March’s show, and I hate that this a fundraising / awareness raising tour, but they’re FINALLY coming.

And and and and and and and and and and and and…

MOTHERFUCKING ОКЕАН ЕЛЬЗИ IS COMING TO MIAMI IN APRIL.

Bonus: Антитіла is coming overseas in the fall. No idea where or when, but I’m there. Even if I have to get on a plane.

Still pissed I missed KALUSH because of Wine and Dine, but…

Бумбокс, Океан Ельзи, and Антитіла are the Ukrainian OG Three and I get to see ALL THREE OF THEM THIS YEAR.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more satisfied, music wise.

(Also, I think it’s time to be frightened by the amount of time I spend on the internet. I wanted to find out what “a trifecta but four” was and, wow, that was the first autofill suggestion google came up with. I don’t know if I should hang my head in shame over that or laugh hysterically.)

(Spoiler: I laughed hysterically. And fell off the damn chair.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I did not fuck dragons today. (OMG. ANOTHER LINK. I AM ON FIRE!) (But not literally, because that would suck.)

To be honest, I had forgotten about it and scheduled a dog grooming appointment in that time slot instead.

For what it’s worth, I was completely overwhelmed at the amount of information there was. It just seemed like too much work for a one-off. Yeah. Despite having a bunch of pocket friends who play, I’m just not interested.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I thought I’d end this with my most favourite songs from the four bands I’m seeing this year, but some of them have already been posted. And besides, how do I pick my favourite????

I’m just going randomize that shit and give you whatever the magic wheel spits out. (Just like a Mike Nickerson show!)

We’ll start with The Infamous Wheel just so you get the joke. (Bonus! We were at this show.)

When the sun is getting lower // and your wildest days are done // and they ask you ‘bout a photograph // from back when you were young // well, baby, you don’t have to tell ‘em // what we did when we were us // but when I think about it // I hope you blush, just a little bit…

Скажi менi, чому не можу // Забути те, чого нема.

Tell me why I cannot // forget what I do not have.

Хворі ми хворобою однією // На щастя ще не вигадали від неї панацею // На голову мов злива впала ця вразлива манія // Діагноз – меломанія, в нас з вами – меломанія

We are sick with the same disease. // Fortunately no panacea for it hasn’t been discovered yet. // This vulnerable mania has fallen on my head like a rainfall. // The diagnosis is melomania. We all have melomania.

[Melomania: A singular passion for music, that is beyond all reason. An abnormal love of music. A hobby or even an excessive fanaticism for music.]

Люби вільно, цілуй поволі. // Прощай швидко, або ніколи. // Часу мало, маєш дійти. // Хочеш правди? Мусиш знайти. // Люди далi прокидаються. // Люди далi не ховаються. // Нова глибина напроти нас. // Отакий цiкавий час.

Love freely but kiss slowly. // Forgive faster or never know it. // There’s a few time for you to come // You need the truth so find it now. // People keeping waking up. // People no more hiding now. // There’s new deepness here ahead. // Interesting the time we have…

He’s got the biggest balls of them all

proof that the ability to provide perfect *mic drop* moments is in my DNA

Was supposed to study Ukrainian today. Decided that fucking around on YouTube was a better way to spend my time.

But I watched the 2022 Ukrainian Independence Day concert, so that counts, right?

I might have posted three of the best performances on Facebook… ya’ll are lucky I didn’t spam my feed more.

 

- - - - - - - - -

A while back, I had a Ukrainian lesson that went off the rails. I don’t know if I mentioned it here, and I’m too lazy to look at the archives…

Anyhoo.

The tutor asked me what the weather was like and I blanked on the word for sunny.

Which led to a dive into a very deep Ukrainian music video rabbit hole, starting with this one.

Behold: “Sunny” by Kalush

 

I looked at the lyrics, and well…

Заправ мені борщ, як вмієш ти, приправами

Which translates to: Season my borscht with seasonings as you know how.

Ukrainian song lyrics are weird.

Війнами втомлена та ніким не зломлена

My handwriting has improved!

I’m constantly fascinated by the amount of assholery I see in the world. Although I don’t know why… I mean, I’m the biggest asshole I know.

I mentioned - in passing - that I had a Ukrainian lesson this morning. (The first one in five (FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) years.) And I was told that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on a ‘trendy’ language since nobody speaks it in Florida.

Sure.

There isn’t a Ukrainian community in Miami.

There isn’t one in Orlando, either.

And even more importantly, I don’t have an emotional or a biological connection to Ukraine.

Nope.

Also of note: “Why do you have all this Ukrainian crap all over Facebook?” / “Your bio didn’t say anything about being Ukrainian until the war started.”

Whatever.

I was listening to a YouTube playlist the other day and this popped up. I can’t say it’s my favourite OE song, but I might have repeated it once or twice… or seventy eleven billion times, but who’s counting? What I could understand of the lyrics pulled me in, and then Lyrics Translate filled in the blanks.

 

Which is a nice segue to a recap of my Ukrainian lesson…

I told the teacher that I was basically starting from scratch, but it turns out that’s not exactly true.

I can remember the “first chapter” stuff - greetings, how to read the alphabet - but once we get into the meat of the language, I’ll be totally useless. Then again, I’m getting better at reading. A lot of words stand out and I can put together a simple translation of a paragraph or a headline.

I’m also listening to more music than ever before and trying to translate the lyrics, sometimes with absolutely hysterical results. (Remember AND YOU DON’T EVEN BLOW YOUR MUSTACHE, YOU ARRANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!! I still giggle every time I hear that line.)  I’ve been on the lookout for new bands for a while now and I found KALUSH prior to this year’s Eurovision competition but I didn’t put two and two together for a while. It wasn’t until they started getting a lot of exposure that I recognised the rapper’s voice. This song has been on repeat for-fucking-ever during my commute. One, because Slava rapping is a kink I didn’t know I had (I don’t know if it’s rapping… more like over enunciating? Don’t know. Doesn’t matter.) and two, what the fuck is the guy in the pink hat saying?

 

I like learning songs that are hard. (ha. I said hard.)  Guns and Ships from Hamilton. It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) from R.E.M. Диагноз from Бумбокс. The speed of the lyrics. The cadence. Even the way certain words are accented. It’s challenge I love. And one that I’m not all that great at in Ukrainian.

So. KALUSH.

If some of their videos didn’t have the lyrics, I think I would die. He hits certain words weird to make them fit better in his rapid fire style. I maybe understand one or two words each time he goes off because he’s just so fucking fast. Maybe if I was fluent, maybe if I could at least read quicker, if I could speak faster, it wouldn’t be quite so tongue twisty…

Example 1 (a quick teaser of the Eurovision winner because it has the lyrics):

 

Also.. watching him live? Fuck me. How much did he have to practice?!?!?!

(I love this video because it was filmed in Площі Ринок (Market Square) in Lviv. I walked that cobblestone street and I know exactly where it was filmed which makes me happy in ways I can’t explain. Too bad the quality isn’t the greatest.)

Example 2:

(And no. I don’t know what’s up with the “carpet guy”. I should probably google it, but I kind of like not knowing.)

So. Yeah.

I would apologise, because I had a blog set up specifically for my Ukrainian posts, but I don’t like it over there. I’m actually going to shut it down whenever I get to it… I had an idea for a different Ukrainian themed site, but we’ll see where that goes. Probably nowhere right now.

І буду собі в інтернеті...дивитись на голих бабів!

1985. It took 7 years before she stopped drinking for good. *ahem*

Back in December, I talked about the Boxes of Doom!

Well. I’ve spent way too much quality weekend time going through those in that blog post and some others.

We’re painting the room we call the Person Cave and we needed to figure out a way to maximise the closet space. Last weekend, he painted the closet white and installed shelves. I’ve been trying to reorganise 40+ years of crap.

I suppose it goes without saying that I’ve spent most of the last two weekends crying.

But… I’ve actually thrown away a lot of memorabilia. Like my parent’s honeymoon photos, my mother’s UCONN scrapbook, their wedding album, my baby book. One of my rules was that I would only keep it if it didn’t piss me off to look at it. So. No pictures of people I didn’t know. No pictures of places I’ve never been. No pictures of people who are dead to me. I kept a bunch of photos of my parents, back when they were young and in love, but only because my father looked so happy in them. The one thing he kept saying during our last conversation was that he wished I knew the woman he married. The woman she used to be. I look at those pictures and I see a strange woman laughing with my father and smiling at him. The only reason I know who she is is because I look like her, and well… historical context. I mean, as far as I know, my father only married once. And if it’s not my mother in those photos than the people I’ve always thought of as my grandparents are… not.

It’s all a bit of a head fuck, to be honest.

Today’s unexpected memory landmine was a bunch of stuff from the UCONN Mens’ Ice Hockey coach, Coach Marshall. He was such a good guy and it showed in the post it notes stuck to every single ticket he left at the door for me, the random letters he’d send me as part of the fundraising bullshit he had to do, the letter of recommendation he wrote for me.  And at some point, past me decided it would be a good idea to keep the booklet from his memorial service with all that. Fuck. I’m crying just thinking about all of it. When it came to getting a job in hockey, he was my number one cheerleader. I owe that man so much. And he’s gone.

Yeah.

So… it’s been a bit of a tough day for me.

Let’s end this on a happy note, yeah?

 

This may very well be my favourite lyric of any song ever (well, as of right now):

Нині не льотна погода
Сказала мені, шоби я
Літав собі голий по хаті,
Показував дулі з вікна.
На мене багато хто скаже,
Шо я тіпа з боку смішний,
А той, хто багато говорить,
По-моєму трохи дурний.

Roughly translates to: The weather is bad today. I’m walking around the house naked, showing my bits from the window. People say I look funny, but I think people who talk too much are dumb.

Seeing how it’s been fucking raining since Thursday, I thought it fitting.

чекай мене, коли все це мине

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this collab, but it is LOVE. The video kills me… it was filmed in Ukraine, sooooo there’s that. The Ukrainian lyrics reference the way families are being torn apart. Like in Taras’ case, the lyrics speak to the way his wife and children fled the country and are currently living somewhere in New Jersey.

Between a shitty, shitty, shitty day at work caused by both AT&T and the US Government, the war in Ukraine (bombing near Lviv - always good for a heart attack), and Roe vs Wade, I’m fucking done.

Oh! And it would have been my mother’s 76th birthday today. I have no trouble picturing an older version of my father, but my mother is forever 46. It’s hard to wrap my head around it.

So yeah. Crappy headspace. Good song. Exhausted Wendell.

Life, in a nutshell.