music is life

I figured it out!


July 20, 2013 :: 8:34 PM

how is it possible for him to be so perfect?

OK.

So.

Remember those notes I took at the Matt Nathanson concert?

Particularly the note that said “look back at life, regret punches you in the face”?

I figured it out.

Took me forfuckingever, though.

I put the note right after the song title “Sky High Honey”, but since it was off of his new album, I didn’t have access to the song right away.

After listening to the song a few times, I heard these lines and…

LIGHTBULB!

I bet you’re laughing at some joke he told you. With his arm around your sunburnt shoulders. I spent the morning with my face against the window seat Looking down at all the things that got the best of me…

You know those moments when you look back at your life and regret punches you in the face? Yep.

I try not to regret the majority of things I’ve done/will do. Regret doesn’t do anything but make you feel like shit. It’s done. It’s over. Move on.

That said, I do regret a few things. But they’re important and I don’t want to delete them.

I regret not getting to know the woman my father loved so much.

I regret not going home when he was in the hospital - even though I was forbidden to. (You didn’t want to fuck with my father when he pulled rank. Remember when I talked about the games of “You Lose”?)

That’s it.

Mostly.

At least, it’s all I’m going to admit to right now…

Anyhoo, to get back on track:

I was doing OK until I heard… You wait too long, you never leave

That line, though? That fucking line?

Absolutely killed me. (Kicked me right in the feels, for you tumblr folk.)

If you don’t know why go spend some time in the archives.

I made a very conscious decision not to look for work at international companies unless the position was perfect. It wasn’t worth suffering at a shitty job hoping to hell they’d sponsor me to move overseas… and of course, because I inherited the Nelson Black Cloud of Doom (trademark pending), the companies I would have killed to work for passed me over because of…

wait for it…

THE COMMUTE INTO BOSTON.

Well, fuck you, too.

(Why do you think I got so pissy every. single. time. it came up in an interview?)

I don’t quite regret the decision to apply for jobs at local companies. It’s better knowing I don’t have a chance in hell to get sponsored by my employer instead of killing time only to find out it will never happen.

Is it stupid logic?

Probably.

All it means in the long run is that the move to London just became that much more difficult logistically.

Financially, we’re getting (back) to a position where we might be able to cross the pond more often than not. If I stay at the hotel chain, I get a really good rate at any brand under their corporate umbrella, even the international properties. Of course, worst case scenario, I have friends who would probably be more than willing to let us crash at their house if need be for a week. (This constant vacationing in the UK assumes that we don’t want to go anywhere else. Germany’s been brought up and tabled in favor of another trip to London. A few times.)

More importantly, if we can figure out how to do it, there’s always the option to use the 6 month visitor visa.

Consistently.

Why not pack up and move every six months or so? Snowbirds do it. Why can’t we?

——

Unrelated. Kinda.

I’m the end of a Hitchcock movie: A little dark and a lot confusing. I’m the last of the worst pretenders. So lost, so lost…

(Since I’m listening to Matt and this song came on, I figured why the hell not? “Mission Bells” is my favorite song. This week.)

Aggressive Scrabble and jello underpants.


July 12, 2013 :: 7:00 PM

matt nathanson :: ll bean, freeport, me :: 07.04.2013

OK… let me preface this by saying HOLY. MOTHER. OF. FUCK.

L.L. Bean does free concerts over the summer and they’ve had some pretty big names. This year, I was clued into the fact that Matt Nathanson was playing there on the 4th. I’m not a die hard fan, but I have a few of his albums and I really like them. They’re good background music because they’re kind of slow and chill. But, yeah, nothing I’m going to know 100%, as opposed to, I don’t know, like R.E.M. (I will always think of that guy in Cleveland who was so impressed that I knew every single song R.E.M. performed that night.)

Not only is Matt an incredible musician, he’s pretty hilarious in between songs. (I took notes! I don’t know why, but I’m mostly glad I did. You’ll see why I say ‘mostly’.)

Before he sang “Run”, he pointed out that it’s normally sung as a duet and that it’s about “an aggressive game of scrabble - the kind where you lock yourself in a hotel room and don’t come out for three days.” However, when he sings it by himself, it’s more like playing solitaire. (I think the family friendly version was a bazillionty million times better than what he could have said!) I will never be able to look at a game of Scrabble the same way again.

I was trying to use the notes app on my iPhone to keep track of the set list and make some notes. I was more successful with some notes than others. I *think* one note is supposed to say “look back at life, regret punches you in the face”... but I have no idea what that means, or what the point of it was. It must have seemed really deep at that particular moment.

While talking about “Room @ the End of the World”, he said that L.L. Bean was definitely where you wanted to be for the zombie apocalypse. He’s not wrong.

Another WTF note: “jello underpants”.

note to self: CONTEXT!

——

It was also an amazing day because after 10+ years of “knowing” her online, I finally got to meet E in person.

It’s so weird to see someone in person for the first time and fall into conversation easily because you’ve followed their life over the years, and vice versa.

I don’t think that feeling will ever get old.

Dog bless teh interwebs. Srsly.

——

Sound check:
Faster
Car Crash
Under Pressure
Wedding Dress
To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts


Setlist:
Mission Bells
Mercy
To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts
Modern Love
Run
Laid
Still
Detroit Waves (featuring The Doors’ “Break on Through”, Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black”, and “Amazing Grace”)
Sky High Honey
Room @ the End of the World (featuring Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody”)
The Boxer (Simon and Garfunkle cover)
Car Crash (featuring U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”)
Wedding Dress
Faster
Under Pressure (Queen/David Bowie cover)
Come On Get Higher

Sometimes other peoples’ words work just as well…


June 04, 2013 :: 10:28 AM

this song always reminds me of my mood swings but that’s OK

If I seem to be disjointed, well I am.
I am not the type of man to let you in,
but you always reunite me with myself
every time I’m trapped inside of someone else.
And I can’t see tomorrow any more than I can dream
about somebody else’s life ’til through his eyes I’ve seen.

Will you love me for who I am,
not who I might have been
or who I’ll be tomorrow
when I’m someone else again?
Will you love me for what you see,
not who you think I’ll be?
when I wake up tomorrow
will you still remember me?
Will you love me?
Will you love me?

Sometimes I feel like an echo in my skin
every time I’ve gone and lost myself again,
but you meet me everywhere I try to hide;
open up my doors and let yourself inside.
And I could swear I’ve known you
for a thousand lives or more,
but every day I’m someone
that you’ve never seen before.

(Chorus)

‘Cause you’re the only face
that never changes, never leaves,
but when you look at me
who do you see?

(Chorus x2)

Who I Am—Matthew Ebel

It’s a bird! It’s a… oh wait, he’s just “Bird”


May 22, 2013 :: 3:12 PM





the lives of dexter peterson: my favorite songs live!

Matthew’s intros will make more sense if you’re familiar with his latest work: The Lives of Dexter Peterson.

The gist is that there’s this kid who jumps from life to life (like Quantum Leap) and he’s followed by this girl. There’s a novella, a web comic, and the album.

He’s fucking brilliant. And talented.

I’m so glad I’ve crossed paths with him and discovered his music.

And a bonus (not from The Lives of Dexter Peterson) - The song forever known MOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Weedstock


April 07, 2013 :: 3:28 PM

It never fails to crack me up. NEVER.

Last night, Colin, who I’ve met several times, didn’t know who I was right away. Finally, he said, “OH! YOU’RE THE NUMBER ONE FAN!”

I’m either the girl that drives four hours, ‘New Hampshire”, or Tam, when I’m with them. ‘Number one fan’ has been thrown around before, but I’ve never been known by that. It’s something the band members have said to me, but it’s never been my identity… Considering the last number one fan wound up in the band, I’m curious as to what my future holds. *grin*

I was deemed unusually huggable and then jinxed Syracuse. (w00t! I’m so glad Michigan won! For a bunch of reasons…) My drunk friend from the last show there left me alone, which was nice. Nothing makes me happier than freaky drunk guys not recognizing me.

Apparently, the laws in Woodstock (NY) are a wee bit relaxed when it comes to illegal substances. There was a guy openly selling shrooms, and the weed. Oh, dear Dog, the weed! Being smoked on the patio like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Which I suppose it is out there in the land of peace, love, and dirty hippies. (Seriously, the one guy really needed a bath. Or some deodorant. Maybe both. Oh, and a toothbrush.)

I headed back to the hotel reeking of smoke. Both tobacco and decidedly not tobacco. When I woke up this morning, the first thing I smelled was pot. It was so strong around me that I’m surprised I didn’t get high. Then, again, I might have been high when I went to bed this morning. The dreams I had certainly couldn’t have been the product of a sober brain.  I’m blaming the dreams on the pot fumes… NOT the JohnLock fan fic I read before bed, or the fact that I fell asleep watching Sherlock. Nope. Not at all.

(Suddenly, I’ve been leaning towards Parent!Lock… sweet, established relationship, with none of the smut or fluff. It seems like that’s the closest I can get to my brOPT!Lock sometimes, so I’ve been putting up with it for now.)

Did I just Sherlock a blog entry about Black Mountain Symphony?

Fuck.

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