That only took three tries and a panicked email to an EE developer I know… but I finally managed to upgrade the backend of my little blog. Finally.
So…
Detroit.
That was a trip and a half. So glad I went!
For as much fun as I had, there were a lot of bad things, but let’s start with the good:
Shannon picking me up and giving me Faygo pop (It’s a Detroit thing.) and promising to leave both my kidneys. It is fun to get picked up at the airport by internet strangers!!!
Going to the Red Wings game with Heather. The Wings lost and it was a shit game, but I was pleased to see a lot of familiar names on the Rangers’ roster. It was nice to be at a pro hockey game again. I am finally healing. Not healed, it will still be a long time for that, but healing…
THE SPIRITED FISTING WALKING TOUR!!! There’s a very famous statue called the Spirit of Detroit and a random statue of a fist. So… yeah. A bunch of us got bored and went on a trek so that we could get fisted. (God, even my pocket friends are weird!)
I ended up walking the 1 mile and 5K with Heather. It was nice to have the company, but the walk itself was odd. Instead of combining both races, like they’ve done at every one 1/5 I’ve gone to, you had to do each race SEPARATELY. Two bibs and about two minutes to change them out, if you were as slow as we were. It was nice, though. I can’t remember the last time I did a race with a friend.
The half marathon was the best experience of my entire racing career. It was cold as fuck that morning and walking up the Ambassador Bridge will forever live on in my nightmares. I’m kind of disappointed I didn’t get pulled over by the Border Patrols, because that would have made it even better. The sunrise over Detroit, the views from the bridge, doing the world’s only underwater mile… it was definitely a once in a lifetime experience.
Then, like idiots, we went on a ghost tour. Because after doing a half (or in one case, a full) marathon, the one thing we should do is go on a walking ghost tour. It was horrible. Absolutely fucking horrible. I’ve been thinking about sending a review myself. The girl didn’t know any of the good stories and it was… you know it’s bad when the highlight of the entire tour is a ghost cow. (Don’t ask.)
As for the bad (?): I cried as we approached Detroit. Like I didn’t even know how badly I missed the fall foliage until I saw it.
I was so energized by the cold that it was sort of terrifying. I know I miss the cold, but I didn’t realize I missed it that much.
I didn’t wake up with a barometric pressure induced headache the entire time I was there. Not a single headache all weekend, which is really rare for me during Hurricane Season.
I had the uber driver from hell. He asked how much the trip cost me (a 5AM trip to the airport) and I stupidly told him $80. HE BITCHED THE ENTIRE TRIP THAT HE WASN’T GETTING PAID ENOUGH. Like, dude, that is not my fucking problem. I tipped him too well - and got charged twice for the damn thing - and decided, yeah, never taking an uber again. Once was enough.
And… not only was I miserable to get off the plane in Fort Lauderdale, MY CAR BATTERY DIED. I waited three hours for AAA to get there and replace it. The guy was great, though. We had a really inappropriate conversation (Titties and a stick shift? I LOVE YOU!), but the test he did on the battery answered a lot of questions I’d been having. I’m due for an oil change, and was going to wait until then. But, my luck is shit.
I didn’t have much company during the half, so I spent probably ten miles of it deep in my head.
I decided that I was moving sooner rather than later, but now that I’m back in my shitty Florida life, I’m not sure I can speed run the move home. There’s absolutely no reason to stay, but I’m also very loyal to my boss. The man is a saint and I don’t want to hurt him. I can probably manage my job remotely, but I don’t even want to say that to him yet. There’s stuff and things going on at the day job and I’m not sure the timing is right for my exit. My lease is up on 6/25 so I have some time to think about it.
Oh well, like I told my shrinky dink, I need to break the cycle of staying in Florida for men who treat me well. But it’s not that easy and it’s causing me a lot of mental turmoil. She thinks I should leave now, but… She also thinks I should move back to New Hampshire or Connecticut, but Maine is calling my name. And, yeah, I am looking at Presque Isle which is about as far north as I can get. Which would mean I’m “isolated” again and working remotely won’t make the “loneliness” better. But she doesn’t understand. I like being “isolated” and I’m not lonely. The big thing she’s missing is that Presque Isle is only like 6 hours from Boston. Will it suck to still be a decent distance from my friends? Yes. But I’d rather be a car ride away than have to deal with airports and that stupidity.
I don’t know. I still have a lot to think about and a ticket to Epic Universe on Labor Day. So, maybe I wait until the fall to move home - it depends on my lease. If I have to renew it for a year, I will, but I won’t be happy about it. I don’t like renting and I definitely don’t like this place. I’d rather see if I can do a six month lease.
I don’t know. There’s too much going on right now and I just need to take a step back and breathe.
Trump won the election. Four more years of hell on earth and that’s all I’m going to say on that.
I don’t have to buy two of everything any more!!!!
Want to see Matt Nathanson? Want to fly home and go to a Bruins game? Want to sit FIRST FUCKING CLASS?
When you are budgeting-obsessed and you realise that your budget is still built for two, and a mortgage, and a car loan… holy shit.
Once I revamped my budget to truly express my financial situation… wow.
For example, I’m going to Detroit to run the Freep International Half Marathon (traveling alone because someone didn’t want to go to Detroit.*ahem*). The airline offered me an upgrade to first class. It was just expensive enough that if I had to pay for two seat upgrades, there’d be no way. HOWEVER, since I only needed to purchase one? (Garçon, fetch me my Grey Poupon!)
Or, how about my trip home? I decided to take a little bit of my fuck you money and go home for my birthday. I have a very broad definition of home, so I’m flying in and out of Boston, going to Albany for two days, headed to Maine for two days, and watching a Bruins game. (We’ll talk about the B’s game in a moment.) When I decided I was going to get my live hockey on, I scoured the nosebleed seats trying to find a decent view at a price I was willing to pay - for two tickets. I only need to buy one, so I dropped what I would have spent on two completely shitty seats on one really nice one.
Or, I love Matt Nathanson, right? I would have had to buy two VIP packages to at least one show. (He’s playing in Fort Lauderdale and Orlando.) I bought two VIP packages any way - one for FTL and one for Orlando.
I FUCKING LOVE BEING COMPLETELY SELFISH.
Or, am I just enjoying the single life? I’ve spent so long trying to afford to keep us both happy with material possessions and experiences… I mean, I got a new car, he had to get a new car. Matching Mini Coopers, matching Jettas, matching Subarus (twice). It gets old. Vacations - needing to buy two plane tickets, having to plan a trip that makes sense and doesn’t have us ping-ponging all over New England for five days. (What? I can do what I want. He’s not the boss of me anymore.)
I’m really loving the freedom of it all.
That’s all.
So. About that Bruins game.
I’ve been avoiding the things that make me homesick for seven years. I’ve been avoiding all things hockey for six (to the best of my ability, of course).
Now that I know I’m heading home?
I’m embracing everything again.
Having an exit strategy is so freeing.
Where was I?
Boston. Hockey.
Focus.
I have decided that this is the year I go full-bore back into my hockey obsession.
Bruins? Of course.
College hockey? Oh, definitely.
UMaine season tickets are something I’m considering now that I’ve kind of zeroed in on a geographical area, and of course, I can’t forget my Huskies. UConn, not Northeastern.
Going to a hockey game is vastly different from watching one on TV. Duh.
And it is a pleasure that has been in lock-step with the worst pain of my life for so long.
Well, I’m ripping off the fucking band-aid.
I don’t have cable anymore, so I can watch whatever I want whenever I want and I don’t have to worry about stumbling on the Cats games / coverage / etc.
God bless ESPN+.
Now, if only those greedy fuckers at NESN would un-geo-lock their programming.
I will pay you fuckers for a year of Boston sports coverage.
Gladly.
Um… hi!
Tell me you’re in a manic cycle without telling me you’re in a manic cycle?
Yeah… it might be time to step away from the computer.
I still haven’t updated the back end of this little blog (build date 20130506) so uploading photos and writing entries has been much more difficult than I have patience for.
While I’ve been disappeared, I’ve been busy. Just not doing very exciting things.
I moved into my own place in early June and it has been fucking wonderful. I love being alone - I forgot how amazing it is. (What? I’m an only child. I’ve lived with someone for 26 years. That’s a lot of… living with someone. And, yes, I know that I lived with my parents, but those were my parents. It wasn’t like I had much choice.)
The job from hell is still the job from hell, but my sales tax consultants filed July’s taxes with few headaches. I also found a company to build me “Wendell’s Way Cool Sales Tax Calculator”. All I need to do is upload the shipments / drop manifests and the program spits out the three reports I use. This is very exciting for several reasons, most of all the amount of time it has been saving me.
I’ve been unable to close a month since I closed March. I just did April. I’m starting May as soon as I get August’s sales tax file over to the consultants. That’s so pathetic, but this sales tax thing has been all consuming for months now. At least the owner has been patient with me. I actually got a lecture about pushing myself so hard. As a result, I was talked into taking a four day weekend.
I spent most of yesterday doing absolutely nothing, but I did get a run in.
I’ve dialed in my run/walk ratio and for a 5K, I’m a consistent 16/16:30 minute mile. That’s Disney safe, but I need to make sure it’s sustainable for 13 miles. I’ve got two half marathons coming up that have strict time limits… one of them is my very last Disney race. Yeah, I’m hanging up the running shoes, at least as far as Disney is concerned. It’s too expensive and I’ve not enjoyed my trips to the House of Mouse. I’m a Uni girl through and through.
I was going to go for a run this afternoon, but now that I’m ready to leave, a peek out the window is telling me that it would appear that rain is imminent. Whatever. I still have two days to try and get a long run in. I’ll probably go tomorrow morning.
Today, I’ve spent working on a business plan and laying the groundwork to start my own business. For years I’ve been thinking about hanging up my shingle and running an accounting company. (Well, I’m not a CPA so I can’t advertise being an “accounting” company in the state of FL, so it will have to be bookkeeping. Which I’m fine with.)
The only thing about this that bothers me is that everyone I’ve asked is telling me that my name sucks. It’s not serious enough. It’s confusing. As a result, I’m going with my second choice, but meh. I figure once I get established as a ‘serious’ company, I can change to that name. It’s fine. I locked down the domain name, a Facebook page, and an instagram handle. I need to grab a Facebook page for name number two, but I already have the domain and two that are very similar. The major, major issue with the second choice is that there is a “kinky bisexual” couple that show up as the #1 hit on google. (How kinky? They have an OnlyFans site. Fuck me. Or maybe don’t. I don’t know anymore.)
Aaaaaaand, here comes the rain.
Anyhoo, I’ve found a virtual office because 1) I’m not using my home address and 2) I can’t use my apartment as my business location. It will violate the terms of my lease. I still need to find a phone service because I’m not giving out my personal number. I’m leaning towards RingCentral because I can get multiple phone numbers and I’m thinking that I’ll need a Florida and a Maine number at some point. I’m going to work on pricing and the types of work that I want to do this weekend. Maybe later tonight. I don’t know. If not, it’s something I can easily do on Monday or even at lunch during the work day.
So, yeah, things are rocking and rolling. I’ve planned on launching the business by October 1st, so I have to get cracking with the administration bits and the certifications I want to hold. I figure if I can make X my first year, and scale it to Y in the second, I’ll be able to sustain myself enough to move home and not need to work for someone else. I think it’s highly possible to do that AND work full time, but we’ll see. I’d rather get stuck in FL for a third year while building up the business, but I’m ready to get out of here NOW. It’s a struggle.
Tomorrow’s agenda includes making an apple coffee cake, going for a run and doing some card making / organizing my supplies. I already did a lot of shopping because some of my ink pads died and I can’t get refills (the company went out of business). I’m planning on opening an Etsy store, too. Of course, that has to be done under a different name and a different business license in FL. OF COURSE. Fuckers. (Again, I’m not using any of my personal information for this and I’m calling the bookkeeping company a BOOKKEEPING company and registering it as an LLC, so I couldn’t mix the two if I wanted to.) *sigh*
That still leaves me Monday. I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself. I’m already bored and trying to climb the walls.
Although… that could be chalked up to the QB Online certification I’m working on.
Whatever.
I’m alive and thriving right now. I feel the best I have in a long time.
I’ve been living in an absolute shit show lately and well, it went from bad to worse on May 3rd.
Quick recap: South Dakota sued Wayfair in 2018 and won, which means that ANY company delivering goods to their state has to pay sales tax.
Just like when Roe v Wade fell, the entire country hopped right the fuck on that and started changing their laws to include something called ‘economic nexus’. It used to be that having a physical location in the state (office, warehouse, etc) required the payment of sales tax. Now, remote employees and sales over a certain dollar amount trigger nexus.
We deliver to a lot of states. A LOT. Amazingly enough, most of the laws have been in place since 2018, but it’s finally become a thing now.
I’ve spent a lot of time combing through our sales and finding a consultant to help me detangle this mess… and it’s bad. It’s really bad.
I’d pulled all nighters for two weeks, which combined with the anniversary of my father’s death and my mother’s birthday.
Did I say absolute shit show? Yeah.
Any way, I’m feeling particularly needy on my mom’s birthday and went to the husband for a hug. Something was off, so I asked him if we were OK and then he told me that he hadn’t felt anything for me in two years. TWO YEARS.
So, basically, I’ve been held hostage in Florida for TWO YEARS. If he had said something back then, I would have packed up and started the next chapter.
Well, he dropped that bomb on the 3rd and here it is the 20th. We’ve already divided up the furniture in the house, we’re looking for places to move to, and the house is just about ready to put on the market.
Every one I’ve discussed the details with keeps asking why we’re moving so quickly, why we’re not trying therapy. It’s been 26 years, doesn’t that mean anything? Blah blah blah.
If I’m to be honest, I haven’t liked him very much for a few years now, but it was convenient and easy to stay with him. Amazingly, those are the same reasons he never said anything.
I’m not sure there’s anything worth saving.
And I highly doubt that any amount of couples therapy is going to convince me to stay in Florida.
I feel more betrayed by his inability to tell me TWO YEARS ago - when it would have been easier to pack up and move home - than if he had slept with every. single. fucking. person in the entirety of this cesspool of a state.
So. Yeah. That.
The odd thing is that, despite how long we were together, I’m really very excited to move onto the next chapter of my life.
I’m stuck in FL for a little longer, but I’ve promised myself I’m moving home in two or three years.
I haven’t picked a place yet.
All I know for sure is that I will not be winding up in Connecticut.
I didn’t give him enough credit when The Slim Shady EP dropped, but fuck, he gets it all and more now.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoy the way he plays with words. The way they fit his mouth, dance over the track, just… everything.
This song right now is on repeat. Ed Sheeran’s chorus is spot on, the word play, and the emotion that comes across in that one “FUCK!” (you’ll know when you hear it)—Absolute perfection. Every single second of it.
(TW: abortion)
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Two weekends ago, I spent three amazing days with my little brother.
I hadn’t realised how much I needed to see him until that first hug in Epcot.
I was the first friend he ever brought home from college and, apparently, I’m the only one that stuck around.
There’s so much I can say about that… but I’m not ready to discuss it. Yet.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
I hired a photographer to do a Dopey medal photo shoot at Uni. It was a birthday present to myself, but I didn’t splurge - I hired a person who took photos as a hobby so that she could build out her portfolio and… I’m not happy with about 99% of them, but this one came out exactly as I imagined it! Well… if the medals were in focus, maybe.
