polyglot in training

Bork bork bork


July 02, 2021 :: 4:24 PM

just some adorable #otayuri because I can

Oh. My. Fuck.

Please, someone, make sure my tombstone reads “... and she went off into the sunset shouting, NO BETA! WE DIE LIKE MEN!

Life does not need to take direction from some stupid question asked by a stupid teenager on a stupid Facebook group.

Besides, didn’t I say I was the deadest of doves?

A few nights ago, I decided to do Camp NaNoWriMo, because why the fuck not? I’m not working weekends any more and torturing myself sounds like a perfectly good idea.

I set a lofty goal of 500 words during the month of July. Not a typo. 500 words. That’s a whopping 17 words a day.

Why such a low, totally achievable in one day goal?

Because. Ukrainian.

I am going to blog a minimum of 20 words a day in Ukrainian and NOT rely on Google Translate. I’m hoping that I can remember more words than I need to look up, but it’s already day two and I’m out of ideas.

Blogging. In Ukrainian.

Nope. This isn’t a bad idea in the slightest. (The fuck-it factor comes back to haunt me…)

There’s one teeny, tiny, little issue.

My current webhost HATES Cyrillic. For whatever reason, too much Ukrainian causes them to shut my site down. Some sort of protection against Russian bots, I guess.

Despite that, I decided that I would use a domain already set up on this host to blog from and use WordPress. I didn’t want to recreate the wheel, after all. Blogging in Ukrainian is going to be hard enough. No reason to drive myself crazier by needing a whole new blog.

I want to like WordPress. I really, really, do. Shit, I know the person who named it.

But I’ve been with ExpressionEngine since it was still pMachine… and now that it’s on version SIX(!!!) and FREE(!!!), I figured I would try to use EE instead of WP.

Well.

The EE install went bad. Terribly.

I had to update the PHP version and then this thingy wouldn’t work. I downgraded PHP and then that thingy wouldn’t work. The permissions wouldn’t stick.

It was a fucking nightmare.

I decided to go back to WP, because why not. A 1-step install. Even I couldn’t fuck that up.

NO BETA! WE DIE LIKE MEN!

I didn’t need to do a back up. How badly could I fuck up my site?

Badly, in fact.

So badly that I was in tears waiting for tech support to find a backup for me.

So. Yeah.

I ended up installing WP in the wrong directory.

Lost UGCU. Lost GA. Lost WAE.

I don’t even know how I took out Good Advices and With an E considering I installed WP in the UkieGirl directory…

WordPress overwrote my ExpressionEngine index.php file.

I uploaded the original one from the EE download folder.

I uploaded the one from Good Advices and fixed the one setting that I changed.

I uploaded the one from With an E.

*crickets*

They found a backup and GA came back to life. UkieGirl came back to life. With an E has never seen the light of day, but the test page loaded OK.

After that, I decided to move to a new webhost.

I did the 1-step WP install and began to hate life.

I still hate life, but there is no way in fuck that I am doing any of that again.

Одна


December 08, 2020 :: 8:17 PM

Fun Fact: New Britain, CT is pronounced NOOOOO BRI ’ IN! (Yup.)

Oh, the stories I could tell about the… interesting evenings spent at the Sting nightclub in Noooooooooooo Bri ’ in. Pansy Division, H20, the Bosstones, the Lemonheads, Green Day, Spring Heeled Jack, and BiG MiSTAKE (I think. SHJ/BM could have been Toad’s Place). I don’t know how many shows I saw there, but I know it was a shit ton. It was a cool little club; the Casino at Hampton Beach reminds me of it.

Because work has been too crazy, I haven’t been doing much of anything fun.

BUT.

I did decide to listen a little more actively to my favourite Ukrainian bands. So now I’ll try to write down what I hear and then google translate it to see if I’m right.

Occasionally, things go a wee bit sideways.

Picture it: It’s 7:30 AM, my favourite song comes on and I’ve just pulled into my office’s parking lot. I park in my spot and listen to the music / read the Cyrillic version of the lyrics and try to guess what I’m hearing.

ME: What the fuck? Is he singing about a banana? I mean, the girl’s alone and what girl doesn’t like to be alone with a “banana”... (*snicker*)

LYRICS TRANSLATE: Ha ha! I bet you’re even more confused now: I’m looking back, someone satisfies own tiredness by bananas,

LYRICS TRANSLATE: OH! I have another English translation: I’m looking back, someone with bananas reduces strain

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: You always accuse me of being drunk. Go fuck yourself… with a banana: I look back, someone is banishing fatigue with bananas.

ME: Well, fuck. Google Translate was right. That’s what? One out of elebenty gatrillion lyrics?

ME: Oh, wait. I don’t understand this line at all. Not a damn word.

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: My time to shine, bitches! *clears throat* *cracks knuckles*: AND YOU DON’T EVEN BLOW YOUR MUSTACHE, YOU ARRANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

ME: Go home, Google Translate. You’re drunk.

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: Fuck you. I am not drunk.

LYRICS TRANSLATE: *whispers* And you don’t give a damn, you’re arranging your affairs

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: Fuck both of you. I’m going home.

And here’s the song that brought me so much amusement the other day…. enjoy!

 

Одна
День як день, ніч як ніч.
Ніч як ніч, день як день.

Нарешті, знову ти повертаєшся додому.
Дивлюсь назад, хтось бананами гамує втому, (mmmm… banana)
Хтось щось читає, хтось в метро втикає,
Лиш вона одна біля вікна тебе чекає.

І бачить – ти ходиш поруч тими ж дворами,
Через перехід праворуч, потім біля брами.
Можливо ти зупинишся, поглянеш – третій поверх зліва.
Така дурниця, а вона була б щаслива.

Ні, думаєш, як все дістало, життя замало,
І доля всі надії, сподівання розігнала.
Куди ідеш, що буде далі – питання,
Над якими зараз думати, повір, не варто.

Приспів:
Вона одна, вона одна, сидітиме біля вікна до темна.
Гукатиме тебе й мене, а час мине...
Вона одна, вона одна, є-ее.
Гукатиме тебе й мене, а час мине...

День як день, змінилося все давно.
День у день життя – кольорове кіно.
Ніч як ніч, як сяйво запалених свіч.
День як день, а ніч як ніч.

Вона чекала тільки на тебе, чуєш?
А ти і в вус не дуєш, ти побут свій лаштуєш.(yes, blow that mustache)
Кохаєш свою машину і маєш стиль.
Отримав все, що хотів, доклав зусиль.

Чому ж тоді сумно – її немає поруч,
Як там: брама, другий будинок, потім праворуч?
Сходами летиш, третій поверх зліва,
Невже відчинить, невже буде щаслива?

Невже досягнув ти бажаної мети?
Все нормально: шампанське, квіти.
Ще хвилину стоїш, дзвоник лунає.
Ну хто там? – нікого немає.

Приспів

День як день, липень, листопад, квітень,
За вікном кожен з нас її мішень.
Ніч як ніч, в темряві вогонь світить.
Ніч як ніч, да, день як день.

Мрії прозорі в долонях, чоловічі забобони,
Довести, що ти найкращий, щурячі перегони.
Сіре місто, зранку тісто, ввечорі погони,
Поїзд далі не їде, звільніть, будь ласка, вагони.

В тому річ, що блакитними очима,
Ніч за плечима, дивиться дівчина.
Знає, що настане день, прийде весна,
Зрозумієш, що чекала вона одна.

Можливо буде день, да, прийде весна,
Ти зрозумієш, що чекала вона одна.
Скоро буде день, ага, прийде весна,
Зрозумієш, що чекала...

Thank you, Lyrics Translate!

The truth is in ya face when ya hear the MAPPA canon go BOOM


July 12, 2020 :: 10:45 AM

I can’t with this fucking show and I’m really not a huge Victuuri fan

So… that training I signed up for? It’s actually kind of working. At least, I feel like I’m pushing myself harder. Part of it is HAVING to do the runs and part of it is me trying to “show off” to the trainer. Totally the best money I’ve spent on running (excluding the treadmill, of course).

Speaking of, it hasn’t fucking shipped yet! I originally bought the cheaper one, but it wasn’t due to be back in stock until July 15th. They suckered me into an upgrade (basically, I saved $500 off the one I actually wanted) with the promise that it was in stock. I know I should be more patient, but the CRC Road Trip starts this week and I was really, really, really hoping I could break it in over the 10 days.

To ease my disappointment, I bought new HOKAs to break in. This time, I was smart enough to link them to my Garmin so that I could track the milage better. They feel just as good as the ones that have the 1,000 miles on them.

Today is an 8 mile long run, which I think is also my longest Racery run. Next weekend is a 9 mile long run. I’m starting to get nervous about the mileage, and then I remember… my dumb ass signed up to run a fucking MARATHON. And a 5K. And a 10K. And a half marathon. CONSECUTIVELY.

Jesus jumping Christ on a motherfucking pogo stick, I am an idiot.

Seriously.

Who decided that doing the Dopey Challenge was a good idea?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

- - - - -

In other news, living at the office has become a thing.

I’ve been working some Saturdays and I still don’t feel like I’m making progress.

I mean, I know I am, but…

The financial statements actually are starting to report real, useful, data.

We’re finalizing our purchasing / AP procedure because it is a shit show.

We’ve had a bunch of turnover, including a girl who barely lasted an entire day.

People are on 30 and 60 day notices and my 90 day trial period is ending in about a week.

Our best admin employee is a 16 year old high school drop out, who is working part time. Of course, he’s working there because his dad got him hired, but he is so much more productive than the kid he replaced. Original kid had a degree in engineering, but had no interest in doing it… which makes me wonder why he ever bothered to piss away all that money on college if he didn’t want to work in that field. I mean, I have two Bachelors and the last thing I want to do is barely interesting admin work.

- - - - -

Picking up Polish in earnest as of today.

Rewatched Hamilton last night. I picked up so many new details. (Also, it was the anniversary of the Burr/Hamilton duel so it felt like the proper thing to do.)

Speaking of Hamilton, one of the girls in Hamilclaws doesn’t like the movie because it doesn’t flow like the soundtrack. Uh, it’s two very different things. I love the soundtrack, don’t get me wrong, but I do like the musical just as much. I think it’s the emotion… you don’t really get that in a polished recording. Some of the expressions… the additional scene… the fucking emotion Pippa is capable of. I think the reason I didn’t like it live the first time I saw it was that I wasn’t close enough to the stage and - possibly - the touring cast might not have been as good. Our King George was SO MUCH BETTER than Groffsauce, but I can’t remember the other actors, so that says a lot.

Working on becoming a notary today. Have to take a three hour course online so that will be the highlight of my day.

Being a grown up is boring.

Reignited passion


May 16, 2020 :: 10:31 AM

writing fan fiction in a nutshell

I mentioned my interest in re-focussing on Ukrainian a couple of entries ago. I think - I remember talking about how much I hate Spanish, but I’m too lazy to go back into the archives.

Anyhoo.

I picked up Duolingo again. I don’t understand the point of using it as a type of formal language instruction. If you’re on the mobile version, it doesn’t seem to show you anything of value.I already had Ukrainian and Polish… and Spanish on there. I had used it to keep myself busy at BU hockey games and added Spanish for when I was super bored after we moved here.

The Ukrainian is easy, despite the fact that I haven’t seriously studied it in a long time. The Polish is OK, except for the fact that I can’t spell worth a damn. All those accents on the letters! Dangly bits! Lines through the L - which totally look like a T! It’s near impossible for someone with a shit memory like me.

But because I don’t torture myself enough, I added Russian. FUCKING RUSSIAN. Now, I have a complicated family history with Russian. Back in Ohio, after my dad died, when I was still speaking to THAT aunt, I’d mentioned wanting to learn Ukrainian, but I couldn’t find anything to use. The internet wasn’t what is is now, remember. This was 2001/2002. Napster was still around a little bit, and other file sharing services were popping up, but there wasn’t a Facebook. MySpace didn’t exist. There was literally nothing except Barnes and Noble. (I don’t even think Amazon was around then, but I’m too lazy to check.)

So, I casually said I was thinking about learning Russian because they’re similar.

Jesus Christ, did she tear into me. It was disrespectful. Did I know what the Russians put Ukrainians through? Did I know what they did to my family? (No. No I didn’t, I would find out years later. Long after we last spoke. Holodomor. Forced labor in Germany. Chornobyl.)  So. Yeah. Fuck Russia and the language.

But, you know, fan fic demands that I learn some Russian in order to write about a Russian teenager, his Russian coach, and his Kazakh boyfriend (who also speaks Russian). I’d go as far as to play with Kazakh, but Duolingo doesn’t offer it.

All that to say, a few years ago, I bought a book titled “Get Started in Polish.” I have had this burning desire to actually crack it open and focus on Polish for a while.

So… I think that’s what I’m going to do.

I am so fucking disgusted right now


May 03, 2020 :: 3:34 PM

THIS IS NOT OK

My friend posted this on Facebook the other day and I literally got sick to my stomach.

Here’s the thing: we’ve known for a long time that he’s incapable of holding the job.

Every single day he shows a complete lack of empathy for what’s going on.

Every single day, he treats the presidency like it’s one of his businesses. Like it’s a reality show.

And it’s just getting worse…

The protests of people who think getting a fucking haircut is more important than my life, storming state capitals with fucking guns… it’s too much for me.

The selfishness of these people is unfathomable.

The fact that a bunch of WHITE guys storming a state capital with MILITARY GRADE weapons is upsetting to a level I don’t even have the words for. (And let’s not forget that if they were black… well….)

AND THE FUCKING PRESIDENT IS CHEERING ON THE PROTESTERS.

I can’t fucking wait for November.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

While I’m completely outraged, let’s talk about the book I just read.

It was about Chornobyl and written by a guy who was pretty obsessed with it.

It started out promising: a full overview of the mechanical and operational issues that plagued Russian nuclear reactors and submarines since the very beginning. A detailed, blow-by-blow description of that fateful night.

And then he started to describe his trip to Prypiat.

Dude, I could see his hard on.

His awe at seeing the ruins of the city verged on inappropriate. He was gleeful to be there.

It was so disrespectful that I wanted to smack him. With a brick. Repeatedly.

I ended up deleting it about halfway through. (Thank God it was on Kindle Unlimited.)

My memory is fuzzy - partly because I was 11 when it happened and partly because I blocked out a lot of my childhood - but I swear I remember sitting there in my grandparents’ house watching it on the news. I also remember hearing that we had some relatives in that area, family that died.

Whether or not that’s true, the fact remains that people died.

It’s not a fucking theme park.

I mean, when I went to Highgate Cemetery to see Douglas Adams’ grave, I treated it with the proper respect the dead deserved. There’s a time and a place for fangirling and the middle of a place of the dead is NOT it.

I don’t know. I’ve been in a shitty mood this past week and everything is just amplifying my unhappiness.

*sigh*

Page 1 of 10 pages  1 2 3 >  Last ›