Sunday means Sherlock!

looks like something i would make…

I know. I’ve already seen this series of Sherlock, but I’ll be watching it when it airs on PBS any way.

And quite honestly, it feels weird to not be watching a BBC live stream today, right now, as a matter of fact.

It sucks big hairy wanger that we only get three episodes.

They’re talking about rushing the next series out, with the possibility of a Christmas episode, but despite my bitching about the “fix-it” fics, I want the hiatus to last longer.

(OMG. What the fuck did I just say?!?!)

No. Seriously.

There was something beautiful about the last hiatus, but maybe that was because I came in during the middle of it? The amount of creativity, passion, and crazy - we see it all the time in the Supernatural fandom’s reactions to the Hellatus, but there’s something very different about the Sherlockians, especially when they’re SuperLockians or SuperWhoLockians - was mind blowing. I’ll know we’ll get past this round of fix-its and missing scenes and OT3 PWP. (My Dog, there are a lot of people writing that!), and things will be all rainbows and kittens again.

And that’s the part I want to experience.

——

I don’t really like chocolate.

I haven’t been near a box of Russell Stover chocolates since my father and I left my mother when I was 14 / 15 years old.

Someone gave us a box for Christmas and I broke down and opened it today.

Damn, if they’re not the best tasting things I’ve ever put into my mouth.

——

I have tomorrow off - a paid holiday, no less - and I’m really bummed.

I don’t want to be home alone on a Monday again.

It makes me think things… bad things…

Like this new job is just a dream and when I wake up on Monday to stay home, I’ll realise that.

I keep looking at my University ID badge and smiling. And then I have to touch it to prove it’s really real.

Unless that’s part of the dream, too.

I mean, I do look damn good in the photo.

When the Regional Director of Finance told me I had 365 days of paid vacation, I thought he was joking…

Glad to see that it wasn’t a joke.

 

Three day weekend!

my life since june 2013

Ah… whenever I think I can’t love my job more, it gets better.

Yesterday, I got an event staff badge. That gives me free rein to walk around the arena when there’s something going on. Tonight, I have comp tickets for the BU game - mostly so J can come with me. In the future, though… WOO-HOO!

The finance staff went out to lunch yesterday and we had a blast. I really love those guys.

Making it even better? When the passes and ID badge holders were passed out, we got a pin with the company’s motto and university’s logo. As those were given to us, we were told the job required 17 pieces of flair. The three of us started to laugh, which made me wicked happy. Of course, I’m the oldest one, and probably the most experienced one, but I don’t care - especially since I’m going to take over my boss’s job. (There’s about a two year turnover, practically corporate dictated. I’m serious. Everyone has an eye on their particular prize, and oddly, it doesn’t cause ShortTimer’s. It’s weird to work in a place where it’s OK to talk about leaving if a position opens… but it’s also very cool to be open about where you want to go and what you want to do.)

I found my people. FINALLY. After two failed temping attempts and two failed full-time jobs…

——

Oh, fan fiction, you’re killing me.

30 days of Johnlock: filled with ideas, but I can’t get them out of my head and onto the page.

30 days of Marlas: no ideas, no inspiration

New Johnlock: started, outlined, stopped

NaNo Johnlock: about ready to search it for good, reusable bits and then trash it

Other people’s Johnlock: I AM SO SICK OF THE FIX-IT TAG, I WANT TO PUNCH A KITTEN. While this new series was all fan service (really, you can’t watch it and not think differently), it was kind of lacklustre and there were parts where it needed to be fixed. But fixing it doesn’t mean the vast amounts of crap I’ve been subjected to. Yeah, it would have been nice if there had been the grand sweeping gesture on the tarmac. Yeah, it would have been nice if there were drunken shenanigans. But, it’s like every single fan fic in my RSS feed is the same exact story. (Because it’s Johnlock, those missing scenes are required by law. I get it. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.)

This isn’t new to the fandom, either. I’ve stopped reading Post-Reichenbach tagged stories because they all follow the same plot: Sherlock fakes his jump, comes back, John punches him, they fall into bed. The end.

It’s old, it’s tired… it’s boring. (Said in a Moriarty voice. Obviously.)

As I’ve mentioned before, a friend talked me into reading Drarry fan fic. There’s so much more variety in those - although, I suppose that as I explore that world more, I’ll get bored, too.

In the meantime, I’ve read one where a time-turner like thing puts 17 year old Draco into 21 year old Harry Potter’s world. A world where Harry and Draco are together and little Draco can’t accept that… until he does. It’s both bittersweet and ridiculously funny. And annoyingly not finished.

My favourite one, so far, is a story that takes place after the War and the fall of Voldemort. In it, Draco has escaped persecution for his war crimes and has become a hermit with anxiety and depression. He’s also an author who has written this autobiographical best seller about his remorse for what he’s done (under a pseudonym, of course). He and Harry bump into each other at a masquerade ball and there’s instant connection between the two men and the story plays off the fact that they’re not aware of who the other one is beautiully. The story tells the tale of how they learn who the other is, their relationship, and how the past finally catches up to Draco. It’s a WIP, and I hope it ends well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t.

——

I need to finish Sara’s socks and then tell her I’m not coming back to the gym. Ever. As much as I liked working out, as much as I wanted to succeed at a GORUCK Challenge, it’s not financially feasible and I can see both my commute and the job getting in the way. I already don’t have the energy to do much when I get home. The idea of having to find the energy to work out is painful. It sucks, but sacrifices need to be made, and that’s the easiest one. Just like when I had to give up fencing. Twice.

Shit happens. If the past year has taught me anything, I’m strong enough to roll with it. It may not be pleasant, and it may be hard to roll at times, but I can do it. I have done it…

Depression lies, and I’m done listening to the crap it whispers in my ear. Done, I say!

The pay off? I’m very zen at work. VERY zen. It’s not like me to be so happy and chill at work… and maybe that will change, but for now, it’s coming in handy and helping me make my mark on the Finance department.

Life is good. Very good.

 

In the words of River Song: Spoilers

Taken as a whole, the three episodes of this series were a ridiculous amount of fan service with a nice undercurrent of love/loyalty/mystery running through it. Even the finale was relatively satisfying - which I wasn’t expecting. And we got more Mama and Papa Cumberbabe!!!!

BUT

There are no tears here, unless they’re tears of outrage.

Because…

FUCKING MOFFAT

*throws things*

*stomps angrily around room*

There’s an ever growing complaint in the WhoLock fandom that Moffat couldn’t write a strong, interesting woman if his life depended on it. (As much as I love Amy Pond and River Song he did them huge disservices as a show runner on Who. And don’t even get me started on the waste of space that was Clara.)

*throws more things*

He gives Mary this wonderful - absolutely fucking amazing - back story.

Like *BOOM* mind blowing back story…

and then what does he do?

He completely fucks it up.

COMPLETELY.

*stomps around room some more*

*does best velociraptor impersonation*

*scares dogs with screams of rage*

*throws even more things*

John forgave her for having this nefarious past. Doesn’t even want to know who she was. (Mary Morstan is not her real name, although I had that pegged when Sherlock deduced that she was a liar. I also knew that Mofftiss was “expanding” on ACD canon with some of their own head canon. So, again, not a huge surprise.)

She had the potential to be completely fascinating and amazing and wonderful and and and and and…

HE TURNED HER BACK INTO A WEAK WOMAN WHO IS DEFINED BY A FUCKING MAN.

Seriously.

If we turned “How many times was she referred to as ‘Mary Watson’” into a drinking game, we’d all be pretty shitfaced.

WE KNOW SHE MARRIED JOHN WATSON, SHITHEAD. YOU DON’T NEED TO KEEP REMINDING US THAT SHE IS JOHN’S WIFE.

(For the record, one of the reasons I didn’t take J’s last name is because it’s not mine. I’m not losing my name, my identity, because I got married. Sorry. I don’t play that game. I think it’s fine if other women want to take their husband’s name, but I have a ridiculously strong sense of self, which apparently manifests itself in Borderline Personality Disorder and my “inability to accept” that I got married by “not acknowledging what that truly means and bowing to societal norms”. Or some bullshit like that. I have the file somewhere from when I changed doctors…  (Um, since I’m raging anyway: FUCK YOU, USELESS SHRINK!) )

*looks around for more things to throw*

*ends up shaking fist and screaming MOOOOFFFATTTT! as loud as possible*

*scares dogs again*

*gets look of death from J*

I can’t even… I was expecting a case of feels on a level with the Reichenfeels, but all I got was an empty feeling that everything they had built to was solved by just another fucking weak ass deus ex machina moment.

Mark Gatiss, for the love of all that is good and holy, KEEP MOFFAT AWAY FROM SHERLOCK! Bounce ideas off of him all you want, but DO NOT LET HIM WRITE ANOTHER EPISODE THAT HAS MARY MORSTAN IN IT. OR ANY OTHER INTERESTING FEMALE CHARACTER.

Let him continue to fuck up Who. The NewWhovians already hate his guts, so - you know, let’s just embrace the status quo.

(Oh, and actually, that whole Sherlock’s girlfriend thing? I’m fine with MOST of it because it is canon, but her last minute ‘double cross’? LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. LAME. She, too, had the capability to be more than she was. More that just a punchline to a fandom that knows ACD canon.)

I can’t even get on tumblr right now. It’s either going to be six shades of ugly or a thousand flavours of rainbows and kittens and I can’t deal with either.

*curls up on couch in ball and reads more Drarry fan fiction because it’s not pissing me off like the new round of “fix-it” Sherlock fic is*

The shit I learn in the name of fan fic…

aren’t they cute?

So.

I’ve been continually researching asexuality for my Johnlock fan fics (last night’s episode did absolutely nothing to help us out, btw *sigh*) and I came across this website called “The Thinking Asexual”.

Fascinating stuff.

No. Really.

I subscribe to their updates because the site is really good. Today’s update included the following quote:

I’m thinking of feelings that lead to what you could call “gray area relationships.” Relationships that are essentially a blending of common friendship and traditional romance, that fall in between the two standard categories. Relationships that look a lot like romance but are not sexual, don’t actually have to include any kind of romantic attraction, and are a hell of a lot more important and emotional and intimate than common friendships.

I’ve mentioned my “little brother” Jeff on here several times… and damned if that isn’t the best description of what he and I have.

When we were in college, he and I had that exact sort of relationship: it looked romantic / sexual but had none of that and was definitely more important than a common friendship. Which is exactly why he’ll always be my little brother. We thought about trying out a romantic relationship. Once. It was discarded just as quickly as it was brought up. Distance might have changed the parameters of our relationship, as did the spousal units and children, but he’s always going to be one of the most important people in my life. Even if we never speak again.

THAT’S what I’ve been trying to capture in my Johnlock stuff. (Because, again, I couldn’t write porn if my life depended on it, and I don’t really want to. Not for this relationship at least. It doesn’t feel right to me.)

THAT’S what yesterday’s Sherlock episode was about.

Is Sherlock asexual?

Who knows.

Canonically, we’ll probably never know… people have been guessing about the relationship between Holmes and Watson since ACD first wrote about them. Mofftiss hasn’t done much for us, either.

So, I read stuff like this and I *know* that no matter what comes out (HEE!) in the BBC canon, my Sherlock will always be an ace. His relationship with John is so much my relationship with Jeff that it’s scary.

I just hope that when I write those dynamics between Sherlock and John that I can do my friendship with Jeff justice, because at the end of the day, we write what we know…

My tumblr dash did a thing (sherlock spoilers, duh)

my tumblr dash - fucking christ i’m going to die next week

1) Johnlock is canon (and, hey! look! it’s a no homo episode! about fucking time Mofftiss!)

2)...

I’m sorry. I’m still wrecked by this episode.

I’ve watched too many television shows, listened to too much music, read too many books/fan fiction, and watched too many movies in my *cough* thirty eight years *cough*, and this is the most absolutely incredibly beautiful heartwrenching, giggle making most perfect piece of media I have ever experienced.

Fuck. Me.

Next week is going to be BRUTAL.