Can’t stop crying…

January 14, 2016 :: 6:54 PM

I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death…

My first introduction to music, real music, was at my aunt’s house. Bowie and the Stones were played in constant rotation. My aunt had a love for Bowie that was only rivaled by her love for Mick Jagger. She loved Bowie so much, she dressed up as Ziggy Stardust for Halloween.

Bowie’s music was so woven into the tapestry of my life that when things disintegrated between my aunt and I, my CDs and mix tapes went into deep storage. I only listened to him when I happened upon his music via the radio or tv. To willingly listen to it tore open wounds that - a fuck ton of years later - still haven’t healed properly. It’s weird how music gets tangled up in the mundane operations of day-to-day living to the point where the situation and the soundtrack are so intertwined that you can’t have one without the other. Bowie will forever be trapped in 1975 - 1992, at 26 Marmor Court, Wethersfield, CT… and the mere thought of hearing any of Bowie’s music takes me right back there. It’s not always a happy place.

Worlds collided in an unexpected way the other day when I saw the headline on the Ukrainian language version of the BBC’s website. The photo caught my eye, and I skimmed the headline looking for words I recognised. It was easy enough: Died Singer David Bowie. I was so thrilled that I understood the headline, that its meaning didn’t sink in right away.

And then the tears came…

And Ziggy played guitar…


If you can’t say anything nice…

September 18, 2015 :: 10:23 PM

hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home

Over Labor Day weekend, I dragged the hubby to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, at Universal Orlando.

It was, without a doubt, once of the best vacations I’ve ever been on. Butterbeer! Hogwarts! The Hogwarts Express!

I felt just like the little 12 year old fangirl I really am. (Of course, all my good Harry Potter shirts are Doctor Who crossovers… and holy fuck! There were probably as many Whovians as there were Potterheads walking around.)

Harry Potter was my introduction to the world of fandom, but I wasn’t ready for it back then. Once I was ready, I’ve embraced it with open arms. The fan fic alone is nothing short of incredible. I’ve published two - one was way more popular than the other. And I have to agree with the citizens of AO3… the first one is the better one.

I even began knitting a Quidditch sweater. Of course, Pottermore sorted me into Ravenclaw… which - if you’re a book nerd like me - is absolutely shitty. All the fucking merch is based on the movies. Ravenclaw’s house colours are blue and bronze. NOT blue and silver. Our crest features an eagle. NOT a raven. So yeah, long rant short: I’m making my own Ravenclaw things.

——-

I’ve been quiet because 1) knitting that fucking Quidditch sweater has been taking all of my free time and 2) I’m being bullied at work.

Yeah. I’m 40 fucking years old and I’m being bullied.

I can’t defend myself the way I want to (adulting is hard), but I am defending myself. In my review today, the only bit I scored poorly on was “plays well with others” because of this person. In my defence, my boss only circled the lower score because he was being honest, but we all know why I don’t play well with others. It’s a long story and there’s a lot I can’t say so…

There you go.

Knitting. Harry Potter. Fan fiction. Working.

———

I’ve taken a break from actively studying Ukrainian for the summer (see: Quidditch sweater), but I’ve been listening to a lot more pop music. I’m catching more words which is amusing because I still have the vocabulary of a newborn. I also managed to fight through three chapters of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in Ukrainian during the flights to and from Florida. I missed probably 90% of the words, but I recognised enough words to make myself feel good and follow the story.

I’ll start again in October. I just needed a break - I feel like all I’m doing is studying, but I’m not making any progress.

I also received the Hunger Games trilogy (finally!) from a Ukrainian bookseller and I’ve gotten through the first chapter of The Hunger Games with relatively little trouble, amazingly enough. Even without the vocab.

I’ve pretty much decided that I’ll be translating my good Harry Potter fan fic to Ukrainian. I want to do it for a bunch of reasons, but mostly because I want some practice in writing. Writing will also drive the vocab home and will probably force me to contact someone I don’t know to help with the slang.

I guess we’ll have to see. Life isn’t going anywhere near the direction it needs to be going in… but I’ll survive this. I always find a way.

 

 


Mailman fan fiction

July 11, 2015 :: 6:27 PM

back to basics: kids’ books (and some ridiculously cheesy vampire disaster)

I love that the hubby tolerates my complete obsession with male/male fan fiction. Although there are moments when I’m not sure if he’s trying to change the topic, be funny or is actually deaf… We were watching a commercial that said something about self-publishing books and I said out loud, I wonder if they’d publish male/male fiction. He said, “Mailman fan fiction?”

I think I love him more every day.

Which is either pretty awesome or pretty gross.

——

I’m having a good (too good?) time on Facebook playing with my friend’s husband. We’re both huge Potterheads, horror fans and like ghosts and other scary things, so we’ve been bonding. She’s not into any of the paranormal / horror stuff and has a great sense of humour regarding our shared obsessions.

It’s nice to have friends that understand that not everything is flirting, or sexual in nature… even if it includes writing mailman fan fiction.

——

I have to go to Pittsburgh for work next week and I’ve been slacking on the Ukrainian learning for a while. We have a new employee who has made my life a complete and utter shitshow. I’ve fallen so far behind at work that I’ve been working late and going in early. All because of one person. It’s insane.

It doesn’t help that one of my coworkers - one I thought I was friendly terms with - became an uber bitch because I moved downstairs to work with my department. She’s keeping important accounting data from me and thinks she’s my boss. Riiiiiiiiight. There’s been some arguing as to who can lay claim to me: service or accounting. I have pushed hard for service, since I have very little to do with my fellow accountants. It shouldn’t be like this. The worst thing is everyone hates that coworker. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Dude, if I’m ever her boss, I won’t be. Firing her will be my first official act as controller.

So… as always, I push the Ukrainian aside because it’s not a priority. It’s a want, not a need. It’s hard to balance what I should be doing with what I want to do. And what I want to do is write more Drarry fic and knit my Quidditch sweater. Not study. Especially not after a shit day at work.

Anywhoooo. I bought those books in the picture for the flight to Pittsburgh. I figure they’re small, they’ll travel well, and they’re right at my vocab level, give or take.

Now, I just need to decide if I can live with just my iPad or need to drag along my laptop. I have a feeling I’m leaving both behind and surviving with just my phone. It’s four days and I have a lot of Ukrainian to try to catch up on. Same with the knitting. It’s just that it’s HARD to write pr0n on the iPhone and it’s even harder to publish. (10 kudos so far on the new one! WOO!)

*sigh*


It’s about fucking time.

June 26, 2015 :: 8:39 PM

i don’t want to adult. please don’t make me.

NO UNION IS MORE PROFOUND THAN MARRIAGE, FOR IT EMBODIES THE HIGHEST IDEALS OF LOVE, FIDELITY, DEVOTION, SACRIFICE, AND FAMILY.

IN FORMING A MARTIAL UNION, TWO PEOPLE BECOME SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONCE THEY WERE.

AS SOME OF THE PETITIONERS IN THESE CASES DEMONSTRATE, MARRIAGE EMBODIES A LOVE THAT MAY ENDURE EVEN PAST DEATH.

IT WOULD MISUNDERSTAND THESE MEN AND WOMEN TO SAY THEY DISRESPECT THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE.

THEIR PLEA IS THAT THEY DO RESPECT IT, RESPECT IT SO DEEPLY THAT THEY SEEK TO FIND ITS FULFILMENT FOR THEMSELVES.

THEIR HOPE IS NOT TO BE CONDEMNED TO LIVE IN LONELINESS, EXCLUDED FROM ONE OF CIVILISATION’S OLDEST INSTITUTIONS.

THEY ASK FOR EQUAL DIGNITY IN THE EYES OF THE LAW.

THE CONSTITUTION GRANTS THEM THAT RIGHT.

THE JUDGEMENT OF THE COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SIXTH CIRCUIT IS REVERSED.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

(excuse my shouting. i’m very excited by this.)


Добредень!

June 07, 2015 :: 1:59 PM

snape does a shot… love it!

I think this is the best thing I’ve ever read:

I really loved the way in which Harry & Draco got together at first, not really talking just being there for each other.

Then being arrested and losing hope.

And then Harry’s testimony! That part totally had me crying for Harry & Draco.

I normally don’t like Fics where they fall for each other so quickly, but the way you wrote them, it felt right, and believable in the “fic” world.

So thank you very much for a different outlook on the immediate aftermath of Draco & Harry post war!

Many kudos and I look forward to reading more of your work.

——

Working on a 12 hour italki language challenge and a 90 day language challenge… That’s a LOT of Ukrainian filling my week, but at $97 to enroll in the 90 day and over a hundred bucks in italki tutoring, I’m finally seeing some results. I’ve got two different tutors right now: One I’m very comfortable speaking with and one that I’m sure will be good to go over grammar drills with, judging by the amount of written homework she keeps assigning. The 90 day challenge cumulates in a 15 minute video conversation so speaking has to be a major priority, but that tutor’s only available at 5 AM. The Grammar tutor is available in the afternoons. I really wish they were switched, but… 

My major driver right now, is that there’s airline tickets on the line. I could fly to Ukraine for free if I “win” the challenge. I’m assuming the major thing is to completely rock the challenge and be as fluent as possible, so I’m going to kill myself learning the language if that’s what it takes.

——

Using the feedback from that comment above has lead me to tear apart the second Drarry fic I was almost ready to publish. I definitely have trouble with the two of them suddenly forgiving each other and falling into bed within hours of reconnecting when I read it in other fics. It’s a huge issue in any fandom when you’re writing about characters with a lot of history. They already know each other so all the verbal/emotional foreplay has been had. In my first Drarry fic, I had to put a bit of a fast-forward on the enemies to lovers thing because of the timing of the post-War events. I can’t imagine the Wizarding World would have waited to capture and put the Malfoy men on trial, but it was important that Draco and Harry had a solid relationship BEFORE Draco’s arrest. In this second one, I have more time to play with, so I’m going to drag it out until the last chapter.

I spent the eight hours in the car, driving back and forth from Woodstock, thinking about how to make it real between them at a ridiculous snail’s pace. I think I nailed it, but I can’t wait to tear into the draft and fix it.

——

Speaking of Drarry, I’m going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for a long weekend! I’ve been sorted into Ravenclaw on Pottermore (and several other website quizzes), so I decided to knit myself a Quidditch sweater! I’m so excited to knit such a big project for myself and one with such a tight deadline. This will be so much fun! I suppose I could buy one, but the movie colours are not the same as the book colours and I’m doing this by the book, as the saying goes. (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA)

On that note - maybe I should go read some Harry Potter (Ukrainian version, of course) and work on some vocab…

The fun never ends.

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