*sobs uncontrollably*

recording the final episode of ‘cabin pressure’
(also, how cute is cumberbatch here?)

I don’t want Cabin Pressure to end, but I know it has to.

Thank you, John Finnemore, for introducing me to a new group of friends and giving me such a nice sandbox to play in.

 

 

 

And so it begins…

my first (ukrainian) dictionary

It’s a lot harder to find Ukrainian language lessons than you’d think.

EVERYONE and their mother will teach you Russian - and there are a large percentage of Ukies who speak Russian - but I think we can all agree that if I’m going to go through all the trouble of learning a new language (WITH A NEW ALPHABET!), I’m learning the right one.

Besides, the Russians - and their language - can go fuck themselves.

I did find a few places where I can learn Ukie, and I’m just waiting on final quotes from both of them.

——

That Friend (you know… THAT one) had finally watched the Harry Potter films a few months ago and he had some of the best comments on it ever.

Like this really tame one: “Smack my bum, Harry. SMACK IT”

SO. I was telling him about my little Drarry fan fic (and of course, he’s not into slash, so he called me a few choice names), and it’s his birthday at the end of the week…

I found the perfect card!

The front has a picture of a typewriter and says: “My novel (if I write one) will be filled with wizards, unicorns, tornadoes, a time machine, talking dragons, a rainbow made out of candy, ninjas, and dancing robots. And of course, you.

<3"

Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

——

Saw my drug dealer today. Every visit I have to fill out a self-evaluation form (Am I suicidal? Do I hear voices? Am I eating?) and on their random scoring system, I dropped 16 points. I guess that’s a good thing because she was all like “WOO” and I was all like “What the fuck?”

And on that note - it’s time to go pack for the land of Dirty (dirty, dirty!) Hippies.

PORN!

i’d buy that porn parody in a heartbeat

I can finally, honestly, say I’ve had my first few shitty days at work.

Compounded by Teh Drama of the Suicidal One. (Not bad, but his mom’s involved now and it’s weird having this relationship with her considering I’ve only met her once in the 20+ years we’ve been in each other’s lives.)

I’m tired.

I’m burned out.

I’m done.

I need a weekend to sleep, and instead I’m going to Woodstock on Saturday.

Apparently, I need a Black Mountain Symphony fix (with a side of dirty hippies and ‘shroom dealers) more than I need rest.

——

My back up drive is still causing problems. I think I know why it won’t mount now - it appears to be a power issue. If I unplug and replug it a gazillion times, it will finally work. I’ve got to pull all my data off of it and then it’s going back. I can’t deal with this shit and I shouldn’t have to.

——

I’ve been trying not to think about this, but I can’t help it.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the day I got laid off.

(I know, I’m employed now, so why should it matter? Well, it does.)

I sucked it up for three years. Three long, hellish years where I gave up too much of myself.

I mean, I worked on my fucking BIRTHDAY despite taking it off. On that same long weekend, I went in on Sunday. (Happy fucking birthday to me, right?)

I had this blind, stupid, hope that everything would work out, and I’d get rewarded for fighting through all the shit I had to deal with. (Details for me to know and you to… well guess, I guess.)

Hope is a motherfucking bitch.

Instead of a raise, a bonus, extra time off and all the other carrots they promised me and failed to deliver on, I was let go.

I realised the other day that I DID get my reward.

If they hadn’t let me go (and subsequently closed the doors for good - kinda. It’s complicated.), I wouldn’t have bounced around for a year trying to find my perfect job.

Which means I probably wouldn’t have wound up at my current job.

So - I did get my carrot, after all.

It just came in the form of a great job with a great company that has a great future… and wasn’t them.

——

I want to find David Arnold and Michael Price and hug the shit out of them.

Their Sherlock soundtracks are amazing.

They’re perfect. Beautiful and moving. Powerful. Whimsical. Just really fucking awesome.

Sherlock’s music is perfect for work. It’s stimulating enough to keep me comfortably distracted but fades into the background well enough so it’s not all I pay attention to.

——

I’m still stuck in the Dark Ages of pop music and just discovered “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie.

For whatever reason, I always picture vacancy signs with huge noses when I hear the line: “Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs.” I get where they’re going with that imagery, but I like my version better.

#ao3million!!!!

and the wisdom to remember that i am not a member of the psychotic side of the fandom

Blew that on my 2nd day of acknowledging my SuperWhoLockiness.

Whoops.

——

Two very real things that happened at work today (posted to FB, but saved here for posterity)

1) When told he was a “pain in the ass”, someone responded with “I’d like to think I’m a pleasure in the ass.”  [waits a beat]  “I probably could have phrased that better.”

Please note: Anal sex jokes are perfectly appropriate at work. Calling women a “See You Next Tuesday” is not.

2) Currently listening to the Marketing Manager and the Director of Finance having a VERY EMOTIONAL discussion (complete with name calling) over fast food restaurants.

I seriously laughed until I cried when I heard the MM tell the DoF “You’re a fucking moron. In-N-Out Burger.  What the fuck is wrong with you? Moron.”

If I haven’t said it enough: I LOVE MY FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!! I don’t even have the words.

Yesterday, I was told that the game plan is for me to take over as DoF in two years. Really.

*happy dance*

——

Speaking of game plans…

I decided yesterday (?) that I was going to apply for Ukrainian citizenship on the off-chance they get their shit together and join the EU.  (Fucking Russians are in the way. If you need to know what I’m going on about: start here. Then, go here.)

If the Russians were to get out of the way, and the Ukraine was able to join the EU, I’d have my golden ticket to the UK again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s a long shot, but if this whole citizenship adventure has shown me anything, it’s that I’m not afraid to put myself out there for crushing heartbreak if it means I’m closer to leaving the US.

It’s not like leaving my current job is an option. I’m too happy there to even think about leaving. Besides, I’m holding out hope that they finally get established somewhere among the EU member states and I get to relocate there.

——

I’ve decided that I am never going to write original fiction again.

Writing fan fiction is so much “easier”. I can still write my fucked up story lines, but I don’t have to do any character development.

I’m working on a new one because the four I already have started just aren’t enough, I guess. I had to add a fifth.

——

Our Regional Director of Finance is in the office this weekend, which means I’m in the office all weekend. Literally ALL WEEKEND.

I can’t believe I’m as excited about this as I am. I can’t wait to spend Saturday and Sunday with the RDoF. He’s hilarious. Added bonus: I get some much needed training! *happy dance*

My religion: fandom.

i needed a giggle

SO.

That friend, with the divorce, and the suicide watch, and the blunt text I sent?

Still haven’t heard back from them.

Commenced freaking out a couple of days ago.

Sent a “please fucking tell me you’re still breathing” text.

Nothing.

I posted this as my FB status today:
I don’t know how much more I can give without losing everything I’ve worked so hard for… And I’m pissed at myself for giving in and putting myself in that position in the first place.

Some people are just takers, and I should keep my distance. I don’t know why I can’t.

(My american football / hockey boyfriend had the best comment on that:  “I assume you are talking about BU hockey. I know the feeling.” LOVE HIM.)

Not quite a cry for attention, but if you knew what was going on, you knew why it was as vague as it was. It got the attention it needed from the person it needed attention from. So. Yeah.

Turns out my friend was reassigned from one residence to another. Their new place of residence has a mental health facility and is better adept to take care of them.

While I hope it was my too blunt text that caused this, I’m well aware that there is a very high possibility of them doing something stupid and drastic that resulted in their move…

I promised both of us I wouldn’t walk away again.

But Jesus fucking Christ on a motherfucking pogo stick, do they make it impossible to want to keep that promise…