I need a mulligan!

silly americans, pants are underwear!

Unfortunately, I’m still one of those assholes who make fun of Americans’ misunderstanding of English words…

——

I had to apologize this morning for Guinness biting another dog at day care. Not really his fault (there was a skirmish in the pack and it was self-defense), but he broke the skin and the other dog needed stitches. It’s easy to forget he’s a big, tough, STRONG German Shepherd because he’s so ridiculously gentle most of the time… but dogs will be dogs, and he is a dog. Too many people forget that their dogs are dogs. I try not to.

——

I got an email this morning that… I don’t know. I’m posting a heavily edited version here so I don’t lose it.

Ok, I don’t want you to think I am ignoring you… It isn’t anything to do with you, but more to do with a friendship you have rekindled… I’m not asking you to be involved. In fact, I am asking the opposite. I just wanted to inform you.

This person’s timing is freaky. This is now the second time they’ve brought up a topic on the tail of someone else bringing up the same thing. It’s the second time I’ve revised a blog entry draft because of that fact. (Get out of my head, you! *grin*)

The good news is that they were much nicer about it than the other person.

I’m never going to judge them for deciding to stay away from him.

I know that he’s done some major damage to people. I know he still has the potential to do some major damage. I know most of it is unforgivable. 

I do. I really do. It’s why we’ve done our little back and forth over the years. It’s why this time, I’m keeping my walls up. It’s why this time, I’m keeping my distance. A bit.

There’s only so much I can do… Moth to a flame, baby. Moth. To. A. Flame.

He needs me, and oddly, despite all the damage he can inflict on me (especially now when I’m a mental mess), I need him, too.

I’ll never be able to explain it. I’ll never be able to cut him out of my life 100%. Dog knows I’ve tried. More than once. Going all the way back to 1994.

Outside of my parents, there are two people whose absences from my life have cut me to the bone. They were the people who meant the most to me and were there when I needed them the most… and then they were gone.

He was one of them.

I’m glad that I don’t have to chose him over the note writer, and the more I chew on the other person’s reaction, I’m glad I’m choosing him over them.
——

In happier news, I finally heard back from the hotel chain. He wants to do a ‘refresher’ interview since we last met in May. (I don’t know what else to call it…) So I guess I’m going back for a third.

Fingers crossed!

Cumbercutie appreciation post

mmm… the cumbercutie

I just finished the third online assessment for that work from home job.

I also had a recruiter tell me that I was going to be submitted for positions whether I wanted to be considered for them or not. (Apparently, I make bad choices. Hmm?)

I’ve already burst into tears. Twice.

I’m calling it a day and hiding in bed until it’s time to go to the gym…

Hence, the Cumbercutie photo spam.

They came, they saw, they pissed me the fuck off.

babybatch in a tux. your argument is irrelevant.

Is it bad that I can tell the Massholes who live just over the border from the Massholes who drive more than an hour to get into New Hampshire?

Seriously. I can.

It’s been one of those “I can’t even get half a mile down Route 1 without an asshole almost killing me because they have no idea where the fuck they are” days.

Must be summertime at America’s shortest shoreline.

Fuck. Me.

I make no apologizes for singing the following at the top of my lungs while stuck at a light surrounded by fucking tourists. (Except maybe to the Bosstones, since they wrote the original.)

They came to Hampton Beach on their vacation. They came, they saw, they annoyed me. They did it all: surf and sun! It’s best if they just avoid me. Rented a car to see the sights, but they found Route 1 confusing. Passed the packy* on 95, well I find that real amusing.

I was here before they came. I’ll be here long after. Don’t want to swear, but it seems clear that I’m gonna have to…

AWWWWW, FUCK!

(*packy = New England term for package store, aka liquor store, aka place where stupid tourists can load up on alcohol and make themselves even more annoying.)

Turning lemons into limes

i fucking LOVE this fandom so much

We might be complete psychotics and hate each other with a passion, but when it really matters, we pull together…

I hope there’s video of their meeting when it happens.

——

I’ve been talking about the “Douglas Adams Trilogy” for a while.

And, son of a bitch, wouldn’t you know I actually managed it? Despite really wanting to avoid that and maybe keep it to a real trilogy as planned?

I added a fifth part and had to shoehorn it in between Parts 3 and 4. It was the only thing that made sense.

Five books in an Adams Trilogy. Five parts in the Cabin Pressure fan fic from hell.

I suppose it’s a good thing I’m against a Kevin Smith or Star Wars Trilogy*.

*sigh*

I also discovered there were more lemons in my fic than just the traveling one. I didn’t mean to write them - they just sort of happened. I thought I’d done a good job of not going too far down the citrus route… I’m going to have to turn those lemons into limes because, as it turns out, I have a fully stocked citrus pocket.

(I am completely aware that in several years I’ll look back at this entry and will need Google to decipher what all that means. I won’t think less of you if you need to do that now.)

I’m tempted to throw the stupid thing away and start fresh.

——

*There WERE five parts in the Kevin Smith trilogy until he fucked it up and added “Clerks 2” to the VA’verse. There was also a heated discussion this morning between J and I about whether or not the two Star Wars Trilogies were actually separate trilogies, or a Kevin Smith Trilogy. I vote that Star Wars is TWO trilogies - the Anakin as pre-Vader trilogy (aka the shitty one) and the Anakin as Vader trilogy (aka the good one).

I’d also like to point out that a Kevin Smith trilogy will now include SEVEN separate bits when he releases “Clerks 3”.

That shit’s just crazy.

I really can do it…

consulting-sonic asks the important questions

Speaking of shouting: “THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. OH MY GOODNESS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS. AH. IT’S SO PERFECT.”

Not as loud but just as meaningful: “I adore this story. It is so perfectly their relationship that it just…it is. I don’t even know what to say. Brilliantly done. Thank you!”

(Since I got an email asking for the link to be made available publicly on here: AO3 and FFN.Same version, but the two sites are very different. I’m partial to AO3.)

It’s hard to write anything - be it for school, for fun, for work, or for publication - but to write something based on well fleshed out, well-loved characters…

it’s so hard, it’s almost impossible.

To put it out there, for others to see? I’d rather… I don’t know… suffer through something ridiculously painful.

Like putting it out there for others to see.

Are my characters perfect? NO. Sherlock feels like he’s more out of character than John, I kind of explain why he’s OOC, which makes it OK. A bit. John fluctuates from being as close to in character as I can get him to tying into the fandom’s head canon. That’s not terrible, I guess.

I put a lot of time into this. I dug in deep and pulled out aspects of my platonic relationships with my little brother, with the Duke of Stud, and even with J (thank you, bipolar meds *sigh*). I lost track of all the times I proofread it. I even made J proofread it. (And he doesn’t read. EVER!) I watched the show as much as possible. (Well, I substituted the unaired pilot for Reichenbach… There’s only so much I’m willing to do for my art. *grin*)

I can’t tell you how excited I am that I’m getting reviews - NICE ones, at that - but, I’m still waiting for a negative one, or even constructive criticism. Not that I want to get my feelings hurt, but it feels like a rite of passage, kinda.

Since I’m all focused on fanfic right now, my Cabin Pressure one has gone through the first round of editing. The Y-L-B issue has kind of been taken care of. Kinda. I still feel like it’s important to the plot in Parts 2 and 3, but I think I’m going to end up doing the same thing I did with the Sherlock fic and just ignore the last episode. It feels like a cop out, though. I still don’t know what to do… the cliffhanger is huge and it was the driver of the plot. After doing the first edit, I can take it out without too much damage, but, but, but, but… ARGH!

You think I would have learned after all the shit the Sherlock fic put me through.

*sigh*