Proud to be a Whovian

kicked me right in the feels

I haven’t been on tumblr much lately, but some of the best bits are making it to my facebook newsfeed. I’m a little surprised by the backlash poor Matt is getting. No matter what he was contracted for, no matter what he was on record saying, I’m not sure it was ultimately his decision. He talked about leaving Who, but it never sounded like he was going to run off in the middle of his contract… I’d hope he was better than that.

What I’m proud of this fandom for is standing by him, THANKING him for what he managed to do.

I’m not a “Classic” Whovian. I can’t get into the older stories, so Nine - Christopher Eccelson - will always be my first. I had a hard time with him and Rose, until I started to see their chemistry and just what a sassy bitch he could be.

Ten - David Tennant - will always be my favorite. For one, he wears that really cool trenchcoat and Chucks. Plus, he’s funny, and cute, and it’s so obvious that the boy who grew up wanting to be the Doctor cherished every. single. minute. of his time on the show. For a man who’s catch phrase was “allons-y” (french for let’s go), I was surprised by his plaintive plea that he didn’t want to go. And he really didn’t want to go… that line supposedly wasn’t scripted… and I know I bawled like a baby when he said it.

Eleven - Matt Smith - it’s always hard to move on from someone you love so much, and while he wasn’t a perfect replacement for Tennant, in many ways, he took the best of Nine and the best of Ten and created something wholly unique and definitely his. From his fish sticks and custard, to the bow ties, fezzes, and stetsons, and even the fact that you start up a triceratops by karate chopping it, there was a lot to love. He could be creepy. He could be sassy. He could be childlike. And most importantly, he could do blood chilling evil.

Now at the end of his reign as Eleven, I only have two more episodes to look forward to. And it’s going to hurt to say goodbye.

I know, I know, I’ve been obsessing over Benedork Cucumberpatch and Sherlock and Cabin Pressure lately, but I’m still doing two to four hours of Who a day. The stories in Who hit me in places that nothing else can… except for SPN’s season gr8… and it’s powerful. It breaks through the dark a little bit. Not a lot, but a little.

I hope that Twelve can live up to the hype surrounding his naming. There’s going to be a lot of negativity, curiosity, and possibly some instant love.

Thank you, Matt, for everything you brought to the role. I’m definitely going to miss you, and I wish you the best in your post Who career.

It’s a cow wearing a fez. Cows wearing fezzes are cool.

this makes me want to sing the moo cow song

moo moo moo cow, moo cow, moo
moo moo moo cow, moo cow, moo
moo moo moo cow, moo cow, moo
moo moo moo cow, moo cow, MOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yup. That’s what I got out my four years at UConn… the moo cow song.

If you’re ever REALLY unlucky, you’ll get to hear me sing it. (It’s not that I can’t sing… well, I can’t, but that’s not the point of the moo cow song.)

——

I’ve been such a lump on the couch all day.

Not that that’s anything new during my forced and unpaid staycation, but it’s starting to wear on me.

Like I want to go do stuff… I’m just not physically capable of it. (Hello, darkness, my old friend…)

Shit, I don’t even have the energy to engage in basic human needs like eating. And I am FUCKING starving.

But that means getting off the couch, walking twenty feet into the kitchen, opening the fridge… and shit, I’m already feeling overwhelmed. Better to stay on the couch.

See?

——

I’ve become addicted to checking my FFN email address… and I’ve gotten one review: Wow! That’s such a lovely story! Thx!

Amazingly, that makes me feel well enough to sit up and grab the last, warm, sip of the vanilla coke that’s been sitting on the table since 9AM.

Yep.

Any one who wants to argue that this shit is all in my head (which, yes, to some degree it is), needs to feel like this. This is decidedly not in my head - it’s in every joint of my body. Every cell of my skin… Remember when I said my hair hurts? IT STILL DOES. WORSE THAN THE OTHER DAY.

I don’t know how any one can survive this shit without meds…

I needed that…

a day of rest, a day of virtual hugs

I am SO over this freaking job search that Jimmy the Pimp gave me express orders to take a day off and let him look for me. Considering he’s got a bug in his ass to find me a job before I can find myself one, I’m cool with that. I should have just enough to please NHES as it is, even without the two positions he’d submitted me for.

As much as I don’t want to, I may just go hang out on the hammock for a while and let the sunshine try to do it’s thing.

——

My little bit of fan fic is live on FFN. I’ve applied for an account at AO3, too. Figured might as well cross post and see just how crappy it is.

So far, I have one ‘follower’, which cracks me up. The story’s complete. There won’t be any email notifications that I’ve uploaded new chapters, because they’re all there. Oh well, I’ve followed stories, too. I always hit follow instead of favorite on my phone and then don’t bother to fix it.

At least I have confirmation that one person likes it.

I’ll take what I can get right now. Every little bit helps pull me out of The Ick.

That’s just mean…

benefreckle suitybatch

I *know* I have a better version of this somewhere, but dipped if I can find it.

——

The fucking Sherlock fandom is KILLING me.

I don’t know if you remember the huge amount of fun that my discovery of “Alone on the Water” was, but here you go.

I came across a parent!lock fan fic that absolutely broke my fucking heart into pieces, put them back together and then broke it again. It’s called “Where I Cannot Find You” and I’ve downloaded the PDF from Ao3, so that I can add it to my list o’ “Shit That Can Make Me Cry When I Need To Whether I Want To Or Not”.  (Yes, I have a PDF copy of “Alone on the Water”, too. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good - forced - cry every one in a while. It does what the drugs can’t.)

I’m flabbergasted with it’s brilliance. With it’s ending. With everything.

I read shit like this and it makes me feel like such a hack.

Definitely not how I needed to end tonight.

*sigh*

*sigh*

you can always count on tumblr for comic relief

Still in a deep, dark, decidedly not good place…

Jimmy the Pimp is pushing hard to find me my next job.

I’m glad he is, because firing up a computer to do nothing more than read fan fic is proving difficult right now.

Do you think NHES will forgive me for not looking for work this week? I’m so emotionally ill, it’s carried over, and now I’m physically ill.

You know those anti-depressant commercials on TV?

NOT written by the clinically, seriously, honest-to-Dog-I wouldn’t-wish-this-on-ANYONE, depressed.

Shit, I’m so far down in the dumps that just the IDEA of moving at all hurts.

You know how you get the flu and get all achy and miserable? I don’t know about others, but, dude, even my hair hurts. MY HAIR.

I’m going to knitting tonight, despite the fact that leaving the house is the very last thing I want to do, particularly for that reason.

If I don’t force myself, I can’t get past this point. No drugs can compete with this and win.

I know.

I’ve tried.

——

In other news…

On Saturday, Silent P jokingly took offense to being called Silent P… I took a look at the contacts in my phone and am seriously considering sending him the following list.

I have people in my phone named Bear, Boski, Bipolar Bro, C-Rollz, Cute Printer Boy, D, DJ D, Drug Dealer, Duke of Stud, Fingers, FNFTF, Football Boyfriend, Jimmy the Pimp, Little Bro, Maxon, Orion, Rothie, Skinny, Soup, Sprout, Stellen (f), Stellen (m), The Chicken is Boba Fett, Umbatu X Jaboba, and Zop.

I used to have someone named “Carlos Spicyweiner” in there, too, but, uh, we broke up. Again. Maybe I’ll find someone else I can use that for… eventually.

If I ever lose my phone, I feel sorry for the person that finds it. They’re not going to have ANY idea who these people are.

Yeah, I should probably use the real names in my contact list, but I’m the one that has to look at them on a daily basis and I LIKE seeing the crazy names. They crack me up.

And honestly, at this point, I’m going to do whatever the fuck I have to do to keep smiling, even if 90% of them are fake.