We are all different people, all through our lives.

my current desktop on the macbook

This is all the Pronunciation Platypus’s fault.

I stopped stalling and started researching what I needed to do regarding moving forward with the claim for Ukrainian citizenship.

Found a law firm with offices in both Moscow (yuk) and Ukraine that handles citizenship. After a few emails were exchanged, it was decided that for the low, low price of 18,000 euros, I could hire them to do the legal bullshit. Three to five months of paperwork wrangling, I get to keep my US Passport, and I get to pay in two easy instalments of 9,000 EUR.

With the exchange rate today, that’s $24K. I don’t have $24K.

I feel better about life in general after receiving this news, but a little discouraged by the price tag.

Oh well. There are other law firms. Right?

Getting my MBA will be equally expensive, but more rewarding… might be time to suck it up and go back to school.

——

I went to a book signing last Thursday - Benny Lewis was promoting his new book, “Fluent in Three Months” (named after his popular blog.)

There weren’t many of us there - maybe seven, tops - so it was more of a hang around and chat sort of thing. He’s an awesome guy. Really sweet and he does seem to genuinely care about our language learning journeys. He and I talked in-depth for a bit about the challenges of finding a good teacher, life on italki, and how much memrise fucking rocks.

His book came into my life at a good time and he really reignited my language learning spark… I’d been so down on myself about wasting my 30 hours and my never ending struggle with the vocabulary, that it was nice to stumble upon a book that gave me new ideas on how to get started. And, yes, I bought the actual book. Found it when I was looking for a new, updated, Ukrainian-English dictionary and a newer version of Colloquial Ukrainian. I could find both of those things on Amazon, but we were at Barnes and Noble because I was desperate to walk amongst the shelves. Every once in a while, I need a book. A real paperback book. I love my Kindle, but part of me will always be a little old-fashioned.

Since I read the book for the third time - I always find something new and inspiring - I started getting up early to do a few exercises and make breakfast. Eventually, I hope to add jogging or some sort of workout (WiiFit?), to my morning routine. Why I couldn’t do this with my wicked expensive tutor? I have no fucking idea. I’m doing it now though… and I suppose that’s what matters.

I spent hours yesterday combing through blogs Benny recommended in his weekly newsletter and I have more ideas on how to move forward.

I just hope I can get through a decent conversation by September…

What he said.

take that, [you fucking jerkface]

Sometimes, I wish I could say what exactly was on my mind, but… I guess growing old has woken up my internal censor.

Had a great time yesterday with my little brother and his family. Learned why we need to wear a helmet when we ride bikes… If you’re my friend on Facebook, you saw Logan’s first attempt on his new balance bike. I generally dislike children, but I’ve made a special effort to like Logan and it’s paying off in spades. I love that kid like I love my dogs. (So, you know, a metric fuck ton.)

Today, I went to lunch at Applebee’s with one of my many mother figures. Had a good time with her - she’s so much like my father and her kids are so much like me that I’m constantly amazed that we’re NOT related.

We talked about some of my struggles at work (stupid, petty, little things - nothing worth getting fired up about, but enough to need to vent about) and her kids. I may not have a (blood) family anymore, but I have one hell of a (real) family.

FAMILY DON’T END WITH BLOOD

That quote from Supernatural has been coming up time and time again recently, and every time it comes up, it proves itself to be more and more true.

——

Made contact with a tutor via italki… $6 for an hour lesson. Wish I had found out about italki BEFORE I paid for the other tutor. I loved this one so much more than the other one. Guess I’ll be paying for more lessons with her. At $6/hr, it’s not going to break the bank and will help me keep moving forward.

Learning Ukrainian is a priority, but I seem to keep forgetting.

Definitely something I need to work on.

*sigh*

My Ukrainian brings all the boys to the yard…

the most important lesson from any fandom: family don’t end with blood

SO.

Lang-8 and italki were mentioned as good websites if you want to find people to practice speaking with. There are a lot of people willing to chat to random strangers. A LOT. It’s a little scary.

I have seven friends on Lang-8 who I really haven’t interacted with yet.

I have four friends on italki who I’ve started to interact with.

Guess what the majority of those people are?

BOYS! In Ukraine!

As my friend, Jax, put it: HELLO, GREEN CARD!

Maybe I should put “I’M MARRIED” in my profile…

Five drafts. And a storyboard. And.. nothing.

red dress photo shoot, short sands beach, york, me

Because I’ve decided against posting the entry I wrote earlier, you get my ramblings on why Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy can suck my cock…

——

I can’t believe my Cabin Pressure fan fic is still getting kudos.

I went back and read all three and they are complete shit.

(I can say that now… it’s been a year since they were published, and I now have ‘perspective’.)

I remember how many drafts those stupid things went through and I never thought I’d struggle so hard again to get the words out.

And then, I decided to try Harry Potter fan fic.

Fuck. Me.

Five drafts in… three where Harry and Draco reconnect sober and two where Draco is drunk off his ass. After the opening, they all go off in VERY different directions, and each one was stopped when I got sick of writing it.

The problem is, I want to finish a fucking Drarry fic if it kills me. (Wait. That didn’t come out right. You know I can’t write smut.)

So. I’ve gone through all five drafts and picked out the bits I liked.

Drunk!Draco is definitely a keeper. He’s such a perfect representation of [someone] that I’m not willing to let it go, and there are a bunch of other things that are worth keeping. Like Draco’s reaction to having to read ‘Animal Farm’... also picked out of real life and makes me giggle every time I re-read that scene. Also: YOU OWE ME FOR THE FUCKING DRAGON, POTTER! (I know. That means nothing to you, but I forgot all about that scene in D3 and OMG. I was in tears. TEARS!)

I’m really liking my version of Draco. My head canon is basically that between 1998 and 2014, he’s changed a lot. The War broke him and Harry’s managed to put him back together. Draco loses the chip on his shoulder and… well, his journey is a lot like mine.

Unfortunately, Harry gets a lot darker in each draft. I didn’t mean to, but I suppose if you had lost your parents and then died, you’d be pretty fucked up, too. I wanted to explore mental illness from Harry’s perspective (PTSD, to be exact), and he keeps going to a very bad place. It’s hard to write. Painful, even.

I’ve got about 50 index cards with notes, draft and page numbers and I’m trying to sort them out and make some sort of sense out of them, and it ain’t happening.

The only thing I’m positive of is how it begins and how it ends. It’s the shit in between that’s fucking me up.

*sigh*

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

THANK YOU!

So… it’s hiatus time and it’s time for the Sherlockians to lose their minds and over analyse every. fucking. thing. ever seen in the show, compare it to ACD canon, and things that Mofftiss have said on the record (even though we know they lie), and Dog knows what else.

Thankfully, we have very well written, researched, SANE commentary on the Johnlock relationship.

I haven’t written Johnlock in a while, and I very rarely read Sherlock fan fic of any varieties (too busy!), but I do love my Johnlock. And I love that I’m not the only one seeing this relationship between the two men…

It’s being PLACED there. We can all admit that, even though they can be colossal asswipes, Moftiss KNOWS what they’re doing.

And I am sick of all the No Homo bullshit they pull.

It’s about time that it’s being called out.

I fucking LOVE this fandom.