Mischief Managed

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

I have been hoarding that Marauder’s Map fabric forever and I’ve been terrified to cut into it.

As one thing goes well, the rest fall to shit.

It’s just the way it goes, right?

On a happy note, I went to Universal for my birthday and that wand sticking out of the (way cool) hidden pocket? It chose me at Olivander’s. Ash with a unicorn hair horn. (The same core as Draco Malfoy’s, which is interesting since he’s my favourite character in the books. I’m serious. There’s so much more to him than you see in the movies. I think JKR did such a great job with him, but since we only see him through Harry’s eyes, it’s hard to see.)

I’m not huge into wandlore, but I do find it interesting that wands with a unicorn hair core produce the most consistent magic, least subject to fluctuations and blockages, most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts and the most faithful of wands. However, they do not make the most powerful of wands (unless the wandwood compensates) and are prone to melancholy if mishandled.

Ash wood, too, has an interesting backstory: The ash wand clings to its one true master and ought not to be passed on or gifted from the original owner, because it will lose power and skill. This tendency is especially valid if the core is constructed of unicorn hair. Old superstitions regarding wands rarely bear close examination, but it is believed that the old rhyme regarding rowan, chestnut, ash and hazel wands (rowan gossips, chestnut drones, ash is stubborn, hazel moans) contains a small nugget of truth. Those witches and wizards best suited to ash wands are not lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes.

However, the brash or over-confident witch or wizard, who often insists on trying wands of this prestigious wood, will be disappointed by its effects. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous, but never crass or arrogant.

It makes me feel a little better to know that my wand core is subject to melancholy if mishandled and that my wand wood is best suited for people that aren’t lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes and are stubborn and courageous… it seems to suit me well lately.

I’m still struggling and it’s getting worse. I’m on new meds, which I don’t think are helping, but time will tell.

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I went to the Florida SuperCon yesterday for a much needed Barrowman fix. He always seems to make things better. Bonus was getting to meet Robin Lord Taylor who plays Penguin on Gotham. He’s pretty much the only reason I watch the show and he is sweet. Super sweet. Too sweet to play such a psychopath.

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I’m also knitting again.

And tearing apart the kitchen. I’m painting the cabinets because I can’t afford to replace them. It’s going slow. It feels like I spend more time waiting for paint to dry… I had the week of July 4th off and I had such high hopes to get other stuff done, but I never got past the first set of cabinets. The fact is, they’re still torn apart waiting for some poly acrylic. I don’t feel well, so it’s been hard to get motivated to move off the couch.

I’ve been playing video games since I cleaned out the craft room / person cave, too.

I’m thinking about joining the 501st Legion. More as a handler, less than a cosplayer, but it will still get me out of the house. Which is ridiculous since I’m becoming agoraphobic. (Did I mention I’m getting worse? Yup.)

About fencing again. Even if I have to switch weapons. I’m not sure I’m want to fence epee, but it’s the only weapon available at the closest fencing place.

I don’t know. I feel so lost. So out of control.

I know I’ll get better, but I don’t know when or how.

And that’s the worst part of all of this…