God bless the st00pid people


January 30, 2010 :: 2:26 PM

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david warsofsky :: bu vs bc at fenway park, boston :: january 8, 2010

Let me just start out by saying that I am pissed, PISSED!, that BU won’t be selling replicas of this jersey. Single. Most. Awesome. Jersey. EVAR. (Take THAT, NHL Winter Classic!)

Now, on to the entry…

We sit ice level, on the end BU attacks twice, just about at the face-off circle. Short of watching the game from the bench, they’re the best seats I’ve had at hockey game. You can see most of what’s going on, but most importantly, for me, I can read the players’ faces and get lost in the emotions. It’s almost like being on the bench.

That said, we often get people around us who don’t understand the game. In a majority of cases, their friends have given them the tickets - most of the people who sit nearby are season ticket holders, so we can tell the n00bs easily enough. Sometimes, we hear nothing but what I call the “wow!” factor: they spend the whole game amazed that the seats are so close. These people tend to fall into two groups - the ones that sit in the front row and consistently put their beverages on the dasher boards, and get pissed when a good hard check knocks it onto the floor, and the ones who jump at every loud play on the glass in front of us, whether it’s a hit or a puck. They’re annoying, but tolerable.

The second group, the ones I love more than anyone else, are the morons. These are the people who try to impress their dates or their friends with their vast knowledge of hockey. Unfortunately, most of these people only know the NHL game or they make stuff up. I know we have an awesome moron around us when I’m ready to go off on them by the end of the first period.

First, there was NESN guy. We sit TV side, there are a lot of checks, face-offs, goal celebrations, etc. in front of us. It wouldn’t surprise me if people started to recognize us… This guy got a call from his buddy - they could see him on TV. After that, they stayed on the phone and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. the puck came anywhere near us, the guy would ask his buddy, “Can you see me? I’m waving my arms and jumping! Can you see me?” Then, almost immediately afterwards, “I’m on teeee veeee!” We joke about him now, but OMG, that day, he was lucky he lived.

Then, there was marketing girl. Her roommate does/did the marketing for Agganis Arena. Apparently, Roommate Girl is responsible for many of the little promotions I hate, including those godawful pre-game videos. Marketing Girl will forever live on in infamy because she insisted that they be on the “Kiss Cam.” I enjoy watching others on the Kiss Cam, but I *so* don’t ever want to be on it (AGAIN). I’m not one for PDAs on a good day. I definitely don’t want to be kissing my husband on the freaking jumbotron. Ugh. (We’ve been on it once in the 5 years we’ve had season tickets - I hope that’s the last time.) The less it comes down near us, the happier I will be. Begging her friend so that she could be on the stupid thing almost cost her her life. Seriously.

During last night’s game, we met Mr. I’m-Such-A-Moron-I’m-Really-Lucky-Tam-Didn’t-Go-Off-On-Me.

Oh Mr. Moron, where do I start with you?

How about the Beanpot? UMass wasn’t invited to play in it because their hockey program wasn’t around when the Beanpot started. I’m too lazy to fact check, but the Beanpot belongs to BOSTON. That’s why it’s comprised of four BOSTON teams. Last I checked, UMass (Amherst) was not based in Boston, and UMass Boston is actually an embarrassment to the sport of hockey. Making it 8 teams (and including UNH and Providence) would not make it the Beanpot. It’d be just another Hockey East tourney.

OOH! How about the matching minors? “Matching minor penalties means both guys get two minutes for roughing.” Uh, no. That particular matching was for cross-checking and embellishment.  Even better, two matching minors, called at the same time, do not equal a 3-on-3. Matching minors allow each team to play at full strength, so it’s a 5-on-5. Seriously, dude, have you ever WATCHED a hockey game?

His take on Frozen Fenway was pretty good, too. He didn’t even know who played in it. Then, he said he wouldn’t have gone since it was “all hype” and “too cold”.  I’ll give him the “too cold”, but a) it was an historical game, b) it’s the biggest hockey rivalry in the area and c) it had the last two National Champions facing off against each other. Plus, it was just a good hockey game. It totally deserved the hype. I’d be saying that even if BU lost - it was that awesome an experience.

Like most people, he didn’t understand why we yell “BC sucks” (we do it even when we don’t play BC - it’s just what we do). He also didn’t get the “ugly goalie” cheer. Best part was when we were psyching out Dainton (UMass’ goalie). He thought we were yelling at a different player just because he happened to be on the ice when we were doing it.

I can’t imagine he’s ever been to Merrimack - they do not have a “nice rink”. It’s like a high school gym, complete with wooden, pull-out bleachers.

Breaking news—college hockey DOES have TV breaks. It’s just that last night’s game wasn’t televised.

Unrelated, but also annoying, when he saw my iPhone he made a big point to his friend that when you buy one, you have to buy the data plan. If all you want is a cell phone, buy a phone that does nothing but make calls. You want an iPhone, you’re going to use it for more than just calls. The data usage is the best part of the iPhone contract, IMHO.

God bless the st00pid people because they make life interesting, but keep them out of section 114 rows A & B. OK?