I need to take better notes when I’m yanking things off of tumblr…
I’ve been reading A LOT of fan fiction lately. Too much. It doesn’t matter what the pairing is, or what the rating is. Reading the fanfic is making it easier to write my own. Writing about beloved characters is hard, and I know that I can write particularly well (after a lot of editing), but there’s a lot of self-doubt. Reading other’s stuff is making me feel better. Especially when I come across stuff like this:
Standing in front of her was the man she loved. Mostly naked and she was thinking about Timey Wimey stuff, when she had a big ball of wibbly wobbly right in front of her face… As soon as she’d removed (his underwear) The Doctors real sonic screwdriver revealed itself…
I laughed so hard and then I thanked Dog that I wasn’t responsible for that piece of “art”. (Yeah, I’m not linking to the story. It was pretty bad.)
All I can say is that shit makes my writing look that much better. I’m becoming less scared to post stuff to FF. I just need to finish some of it first!
1) There’s a lot of bipolar bullshit going on behind the scenes. Once I decided to embrace it (finally, really, truly embrace it), it became obvious that things need to change a lot. I’m dealing with what that means and how it affects people I (used to/still do) care about. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s definitely one of the harder things I’ve needed to come to terms with.
2) I’m still reaching out to kids on tumblr who sound like they could use a sympathetic ear and someone to talk them off of the ledge. It’s exhausting, but if I can make one person feel better, then it’s worth it. There’s a lot of screwed up people out there. I’m struggling to reach the light at the end of the tunnel myself right now, but I do find peace in knowing that it will get better. It always does. It’s been four kids in two months… but I’m not built to walk away from them. It’s not my style. These kids - it’s weird, I know - but they become friends over shared obsessions. It’s an odd friendship, but I’m going to the wedding of a guy I met 15 years ago online and we’ve only met in person once. What’s stranger?
3) There’s some other drama going on - some of it mine, some of it not. It’s hard to talk about certain things when it’s hard to tell who the audience is. I’m kind of cruising through my stats, but just because the source is a certain state, doesn’t mean that it’s so-and-so. It could be someone new. Without knowing for sure, and without having to password protect, I’m having a hard time being comfortable with blogging “my” way here.
4) Different things are important to me at different points in time. Right now, running away from my problems and concentrating on Superwholock is what I need to do. I need some distance and some perspective. Running away is giving me time to work through it. Whether my friends like it or not? Let me refer you back to Benedict Cumberbatch flipping the bird... If you pay for my hosting, my blog software license, and talk to me when I need you to, then we can talk about the content of my blog. Until then, bite me.
So there you go. I can guarantee you there’s more tumblr spam on the way. Delete me from your RSS reader’s subscriptions now if that’s not your thing. If it is, feel free to follow me on tumblr as well: I’m destiels-tardis-is-sherlocked.
Running away from my problems (the temporary solution) has resulted in a definitely unhealthy obsession with tumblr and the beauty of Benedict Cumberbatch.
See also: Sherlock. That damn opening credits sequence really makes me want to run to London and never come back.
*shakes fist at BBC America and Netflix for ruining my life*
