I hit ‘maybe running isn’t for me’ at the same time normal runners are hitting ‘I’m ready for this’
Still working through reading some of the short stories and discarded longer works I’m unearthing as part of the LONGEST CLEANING / REORGANIZING PROJECT IN THE HISTORY OF THE FUCKING WORLD.
I found two writing assignments graded by very different teachers, written at very different points in my life.
I think this is a good thing: I credit (extra) you for this story! I find it hard “grading” a story!
Did you mean KC to be selfish? I got that impression. When she confesses to Jeff and tells the truth, her response turned me off. He didn’t deserve it! And her shortness at the end to the teacher - nasty -
Did you intend to create a nasty, selfish, young girl?
The situation seems to be overblown. Much ado about nothing -
Was this intended to create a mountain out of a molehill???
Lots of questions!
I’m not sure about answer!
I am fucking DYING at the ‘he didn’t deserve it’! Like, fuck, dude, you got into that shit.
Isn’t that the whole point of being a writer? To make people feel things?
And, no, I didn’t mean KC to be so nasty, but it was written in 1990.
My dad and I had moved out of the house I grew up in and were living in an apartment. 1990 to 1992 could be called my ‘angsty’ period, at a minimum.
So, if KC was a Mary Sue (let’s be serious: she totally fucking was), it’s a pretty good indication of just how fucked up I was at that point.
On the flip side, on a junior high school writing assignment, I got this: Wendell -
This is exceptionally good! It’s subtle and sensitive - I’m impressed! (A+)
Junior high was a very different world compared to high school. I can’t say Junior High was perfect - there were a shit ton of problems at home. I’m pretty sure that this is when the depression started showing its face to the world,too. I started going days without sleeping and I was never happy. NEVER. I faked it well enough, but looking at that young girl… knowing what she was up against and what her future would hold. God, I just want to put her somewhere safe and protect her.
Story #1 was supposed to be a little bit of a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. Of course, obviously, it didn’t go well.
Story #2 was about a girl who had grown apart from the popular girls she had been friends with and reconnected with a less popular, forgotten friend.
I never lived story #1, but what person doesn’t want the opportunity to hang out with their crush? Fuck, I couldn’t write the romantic scenes for shit. (And now I write porn. Who needs romance when you have a dick? (Or a sex toy. My porn is equal opportunity.))
Sorry. Not porn. Erotica.
Speaking of Mary Sues, my little het fic is definitely including bits of my past.
The bad ones.
Write what you know, right?
Fuck.
I almost wrote Right what you know, write?
Englishing good is hard work.
But, anyway, that one is a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. About a girl who loses all her friends.
Stickin’ to what I know.
Obviously.
- - - - - - - - -
I gave up on watching horror movies while I play The Sims. I’ve seen all the ones I’m interested in on Tubi, and none of the other streaming services have anything that I haven’t seen. (Give me a good found-footage haunted house/paranormal TV show movie any day.)
But there’s a song in there that is on the Threesome soundtrack. (Also a Stephen Baldwin film where he’s a complete idiot.)
I LOVED Threesome.
So, last night, I found an external blu-ray disc player, attached it to the Mac, and had a completely enjoyable trip down memory lane. And those don’t happen very often around these parts.
You can’t buy the soundtrack, though.
You also can’t buy the soundtrack for “Pump Up the Volume” which will probably make an appearance today.
I was able to find all the PUtV songs on iTunes, which was great, but it would have been SO MUCH EASIER to just buy the soundtrack. (Licensing, smishening.)
Unfortunately, a chunk of songs from Threesome’s soundtrack are near impossible to find. I still have some options I need to look at, but I’m not holding out hope that I’ll find digital copies.
I do, however, have an old school tape deck and a Mac it connects to.
I see myself dusting off both and doing some digitizing myself.
Worst case, I hook the old Mac up again and use it as an oversized iPod.
- - - - - - - - - -
I decided to do Dopey virtually this year. That way, I can go at my own pace and not worry about the asthma, or blisters, or whatever else will raise its ugly face.
I am doing Wine and Dine in Orlando, though. Yesterday, I decided to get serious about my training. I had been on a streak, then G died, and.. I lost my treadmill buddy. It’s been hard to get on the treadmill and not having him laying in the doorway, protecting me.
I walked the first and last miles of a 5K. That second mile? I did walk / run intervals - I’ve always played with them in the past, but… eh.
Last night? Last night was my best mile since 2019.
Completely sustainable over a mile.
I’m going to hop on the treadmill again tonight, I think, and try again. Maybe I’ll nudge up the running speed. Maybe I’ll set my Garmin to measure laps. (Which is a pain in the ass, but whatever.)
“Mmm,” she said, licking her lips. “Is that package for me?”
I don’t know how I survived this past week at work - or today, for that matter - but when that popped up in my FB memories… it made everything so much better.
It might have inspired some dirty Victurri fanfiction… not mine, though. We’ll have to see if PT and V actually do something with Yuuri and those little mailman shorts like they teased.
- - - - - - - - - -
Bunnywest’s second book dropped at midnight.
If I stayed up for a book launch, is it really too much to expect me to wait until I woke up to dig in?
I’ve been a writer my entire life. From my earliest memories, I’ve always written some sort of fiction. We used to go on vacation to Maine and I would sit on the hotel balcony staring at the ocean and chewing a blue Bic pen. (Always blue.) Once the words came, it had to be college ruled paper. I didn’t care if it was a pad or a notebook. That wide ruled shit is ridiculous.
Of course, I have honed my skills and become the whole… package (*snickers*). I’ve taken Official Writing Classes. I’ve had peer reviews. I’ve had (master)beta readers.
I’m fucking published. (Stick that in your slot.)
All that to say, I hate when something unexpected slides in the back door.
(Oh my god. I am dying over here.)
I’m never going to claim to be a plotter. Nope. I’m a hardcore (I said hard) pantser.
Anyhoo.
In all seriousness, my little piece of het fiction just threw me a major curveball.
I thought it was the female lead’s story. Told by her, as unreliable a narrator as any out there today.
About falling in love with a sport that breaks your heart over and over again.
About falling in love with your best friend.
About having the happily ever after you really deserve but that only ever happens in fiction.
So… the whole package.
(Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
I’m reading it over, trying to figure out what comes next, and motherfuck.
Wait. That wasn’t my actual reaction.
Let’s try that again.
SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING DOUCHENOZZLE. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!?
(Interrobangs are cool. HA! I said bang. (Bet you didn’t even know there was a word for ?!?) There’s also shebang (#!) and don’t ask me how I know these things.)
Turns out that, despite the shifting POVs, it’s still her story… as told by the male lead.
That was… not… supposed to happen.
Oh, and the kicker?
She’s asexual. AND aromantic.
Because why the fuck not?
I didn’t realise how much I didn’t know about being aroace / acearo until I had to figure out how to write her.
I spend all this time thinking I have a general idea of what’s going to happen and then the characters just fuck shit up.
I feel like I’m taking dictation. (Ha! Dic…I’m reaching now, aren’t I?)
To quote my father, I don’t know what I don’t know until I know I don’t know it.
I’m learning that I don’t know a lot.
Like how to control characters so that they’re not ruining my grand romantic relationship.
Or engaging in statutory rape.
Or sending dirty texts to their dads.
Yeah. We won’t talk about Stiles’ accidental text to the Sheriff.
I’m playing in a new save file because something happened to my favourite legacy file and the game crashes everytime I load into the game…
There’s a mod that I love that’s sort of working. The developer knows it’s throwing up an error and is working on it, but I’m not too concerned. The bit it’s breaking doesn’t matter to me.
And if I lose this save file? I have another one (my second favourite legacy) that’s sitting in time out until the dust settles.
OK. Enough stalling…
I have a horse to train and boys to screw in the stable. (Talk about a roll in the hay!)
Sometimes, 18+ Sims mods make the game so much better…
A very unusual story and very amusing - I had to read it twice!
A Man and His Moose A True Story by Wendell Gee, Fourth Grader
Softly and silently, he crept into the car and drove to Westown Pharmacy. Little did he know I was in the car watching as he bought a mini Hallmark reindeer.
When he got home, he carefully took off the tags and called this poor reindeer “Herbie the Moose” (Maybe because this man works for the company with a moose!)
This is what this man and his moose did: they went in the car together and they walked around the house together, When they went in the car, Herbie was on the steering wheel or the dash. When they walked around the house, Herbie was on this man’s head.
When I bug him, he sends Herbie, his “attack moose” after me! Remember when Burger King was having their Herb ads? This man would make his Herb say, “Daddy! Daddy! They want me! They want me! Daddy, please bring me to Burger King so we can be $5,000 richer!” and this man would say “why would I only be $5,000 richer? I thought it was $10,000,” and Herbie would say, “I want half!”
When Herbie makes me mad, I send him flying! But, when that doesn’t work, I put him in some of these: freezer, sock/underwear drawer, the cellar, behind the couch, or in my puppy’s mouth.
When this man uses Herbie, I think he is getting senile early. Sometimes, he puts Herbie in front of a petrified cow turd and says Herbie is taking a poop!
This man I ought to know because he is my Dad.
footnotes:
The “company with a moose” logo. NOT a moose, btw…
Herb commercial
The best picture they have of him is one where he’s literally holding a bowling ball in front of his face… This was considered one of the biggest flops in marketing history, as the year-long campaign never caught on and nearly sunk Burger King altogether.
I am absolutely DYING at the video description. Also, upon reflection, I think the bowling ball thing is the inspiration for the #geeselfie tag I’m fond of using on the Book of Faces. (Don’t tell me advertising doesn’t work!)
The original
Dude, what the fuck was up with that handwriting?!?!?!
Also - that fucking cow turd.
He bought it somewhere as a random souvenir during a trip to Texas. That thing… wow. I haven’t seen it or thought of it in DECADES, but.
I can picture it perfectly.
Shall we say hashtag scarred for life? Because. Yeah. Abso-fucking-lutely.
