Got fed up the other day with my workflow processes… I need to reduce drag. Bouncing in and out of five different companies all day is exhausting.
So, because the David Allen Company got into my head and noticed that I needed a swift kick, they decided to send me an email about a GTD live set that I’ve been drooling over. To let me know it’s 50% off. I renewed my GTD Connect membership, busted out my copies of GTD, Ready for Anything, and Making it All Work, and bought the set.
I am ready to hop back on the GTD bandwagon, drink the kool-aid, whatever you want to call it.
w00t!
I’ve got next Thursday and Friday off of work - my last day off was the Friday before my birthday, but I’ve been working myself sick since then. I’m thinking about a road trip, or two. I’m thinking about sleeping. A LOT. I’m thinking of LEGO Pirates on the XBox, but mostly, I’m going to trust in my system and enjoy my well-earned four days of freedom.
Tom Petty said it best (and I always hear this damn song in my head at times like this): The waiting is the hardest part.
I’ve been dreading the day I’d find out that one of my friends is being deployed.
Well, he is.
Towards the end of July.
I’m completely sick over this…
The people I love don’t seem to do so well when the military is involved. Three people, two successful suicides and eight very unsuccessful attempts.
While I’m proud as hell that he’s serving our country and thankful, so very, very, very, thankful that he is, there’s a huge part of me that’s being VERY selfish.
I know I’ll make a point to see him before he leaves. There’s a clock out there, somewhere, that has time on it… and I need to fulfill my end of that deal. (I believe a compromise has been reached as to how that time can be used in a very family friendly, PG-13 manner.)
But that doesn’t mean that I’m OK with any of this.
I WON’T be OK with any of this until he’s home. Safe.
uconn alumni game :: the rent, east hartford, ct :: february 13, 2011
For whatever reason, I’ve been thinking of my grandfather today. When I’d go to my grandparents’ house, he’d always take me to Carvel. I could practically smell the store and taste the ice cream this morning. So odd. So random.
I was poking around Facebook and looked at my cousin’s profile. Granted, it’s locked down and all I could see was her profile picture, but she had a baby.
A baby. God, that made me feel old. She’s seven years younger than I am, and it’s just so weird that she’s old enough to get married and breed. I’m obsessed with finding out what she named it. Like it would help matters.
You know, growing up, the Ukie side of my family was pretty tight knit. Then my mother died and everything got beyond screwed up. My aunt stole money from me, placed a restraining order on my father and I, and cut me off. She was like a mother to me, my cousins like siblings, and it was all gone. I tried to keep in contact with them, but it was hard, strained. When my father died, she told me she was glad because he killed my mother. That was pretty much the last straw.
It took me a long time to get to the point where I wanted to reconnect with my cousins, but I couldn’t deal with the thought of dealing with their mother. Eventually, we did reconnect, but it didn’t work out. The last time I saw her, I gave the eldest all my mother’s jewelry since I didn’t want it and my mother was her godmother, and I got shit on in return. I should have expected it. Like mother, like daughter.
I wonder what my grandparents would think about this. This wasn’t how they raised us. ALL of us.
One great mother spawned two evil ones.
I don’t get it.
I shouldn’t spend my Mother’s Day thinking about the two mothers I hate more than anything, but this bullshit Hallmark holiday always brings out the worst in me. I wish I had a mother to spoil today. More than anything, I wish I had one or the other (or in my wildest dreams, both), in my life. But they’re both dead to me and that breaks my heart.
my imaginary hockey boyfriend, chrisco :: agganis arena, boston :: february 2010
I have a friend who vanishes - like POOF! vanishes - when she’s in turmoil.
I prefer to shut down… not necessarily shut people out, although it may look like it. I’m not that social a person, so when I shut down, it’s hardly noticeable. I think.
I would really like to shut down now. I was scheduled to shut down this weekend, but life had other plans for me.
Like pain. Physical pain. Lots and lots of pain.
When I finally got the patella tracking thingy in my knees confirmed, the ortho found that I was flat footed and a little knock-kneed, which complicated the patella issue. So I got lifts in my shoes. Two weeks ago, I had a terrible pain in my back. Thought I slipped a disc or something. Nope. My GP thinks, judging by how the pain seems to radiate from my hips, that I’ve managed to basically pull those muscles out of place and shift the joints by wearing the lifts. Fucking. Awesome. I’ve been living in my Chucks for about a week now, since they’re very possibly the worst shoe I can be wearing since they offer no support of any sort.
I’ve pretty much been out of (physical) commission.
And then, because life didn’t suck enough, we moved into our new office space this weekend. Boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. And stairs. Oh, God, the stairs! Granted, I have a very cool office I’m calling the penthouse suite, but I had to carry! heavy! boxes! up! stairs! I thought I consumed lethal amounts of ibuprofen, but I’m still here, so maybe not.
All that to say, that ten years ago, on April 30, my father didn’t answer his phone when I called. From 6:30 AM to Noon. I flew over there in tears, fearing the worst. The landlord had to let me into his apartment because he hadn’t given me my key yet.
And there he was on the couch.
Gone.
The raw emotion of this milestone has been overpowering, but we’re still shorthanded at work and I had a move to deal with. I’ve been trying to push it back, to make it go away. I need to get through the move. I need to get through the backlog of work I created when I pushed it all aside to pack boxes. I need to deal with a totally hellacious budget meeting on Monday with a computer that refuses to see ANYTHING on the new network. No POS software, no QuickBooks… It’s been an interesting weekend… and it’s only Saturday afternoon.
All I want to do is break down and cry, and mourn, and miss my daddy.
But I can’t. Not this weekend. No matter how badly I need it…
