Clumsy, crawling out of my skin…

ben :: the warehouse, hartford, ct :: april 18, 2009

I’ve had R.E.M.‘s “Second Guessing” in my head for about two days now…

Why’re you trying to second guess me? I am tired of second guessing.

People forget that there are a gazillion other people on the internet and not everything said is meant to be taken personally by YOU.  (Unless of course, it is meant to… but if it is, I make sure I call you out so clearly you know who you are.  *grin*)  I blame Facebook/MySpace/Twitter for this new round of teh interweb’s st00pidity.  Too many n00bs around spoiling us old farts’ fun.  *sigh*  I’ve been blogging in some way, shape or form for 11 years, people.  I’ve seen it all. Get over yourselves.  You really don’t matter.  Neither do I. Srsly.

A million years ago (interweb time, of course), there were these things called Blog Wars.  People would write entries with the intent to piss people off.  And they WORKED! Can you believe it? Something inflammatory actually inflamed people!  My Word!  Of course, anytime you do start a war, people take sides and it got ugly pretty quickly.  Nice to know things haven’t changed… #amazonfail, anyone? Those that don’t pay attention to history allow it to repeat itself.  Me? I’ve tried to get out of the blog/FB/Twitter war zone, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been able to keep my nose clean.  I am only human… and as those who know me IRL will tell you, I can be quite the ass when I want to be. Especially when I am The CRANKY!!!!

At any rate, my point is I get a TON of emails, DMs/PMs, @ replies, text messages, phone calls, the whole shebang.  There are a lot of people with access to me and not all of them behave like grown-ups.  I try not to sink to their level, especially if they’re acting like children, but I’m not always able to take the high road. Sorry. That’s just how it is.  I am deeply flawed.  If you can’t accept that, than maybe you should find another person to latch on to because we are not a good fit.

There are things I want to say.  Things I need to say… but I don’t know how.  Not sure that there’s a way that won’t hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t think there’s a win in here at all for any of the affected parties. Like always, there WILL be collateral damage.  That’s just the way it is.  It, unfortunately, comes down to who I choose to hurt.  Time to flip a coin, I guess.

I’ve been lost inside my head…
I took the prize last night for complicated mess for saying things I didn’t mean and don’t believe…
Believe in me.  Believe in nothing.  Corner me and make me something…
I’m overwhelmed. I’m on repeat. I’m emptied out. I’m incomplete… R.E.M. - Hollow Man

Blinding lights that breach the Paris sky…

instrument :: b & g lounge, south windsor, ct :: april 11, 2009

If you’re new around these parts, I’ll save you the digging though the archives and let you know that a good friend from college is in a little indie band.  (You can thank me later. LOL)  They’re really good and in an effort to support D, I’ve gone to so many shows I wound up becoming friends with all the guys.  I’m also the unofficial official (official unofficial?) photographer.  Whatever.  I take a lot of pictures for them. That means I have to go to see them play - that’s a lot of traveling.  This month alone, I’ll have gone to CT three weekends in a row.  Last weekend, I was in South Windsor.  This weekend, I was in Hartford.  Next weekend, it will be UConn - Storrs.  After that, I’m Delaware bound and possibly Manhattan bound as well.  I live in New Hampshire, so I’m on the road WAY TOO MUCH for a sane person.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, in a completely different life, I spent a lot of time in local clubs watching other friends’ bands.  I really like revisiting that period of my life. Plus, with the right mix of people, these shows are an even bigger blast.  Whether it’s counting instruments on stage (13? I only see 10!), telling opening acts that they sound like Bret Michaels (which caused him to open his second set with “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”), creating in-jokes with the other opening act (“I don’t like your attitude!”) and having it brought up during their set, or getting shout-outs because we are friends with the band, I never feel that I’m wasting my time.  Moments like Aaron and D’s improptu jam session with Bret Michaels are definitely worth the price of admission. 

Because I am so close to the band, I’m emotionally invested in their success. I’m in the middle of a rather large project for them… a project whose scope changed dramatically last night.  To go all GTD Geek - I have never been so happy to have my ubiquitous capture tool.  Now that I have Lotus Notes up and running on my Mac, it’s time to get eProductivity installed and truly handle this project the way it needs to be handled.  I’ve heard there’s some interest in my experiences (*grin*), so I’ll make sure I take notes on how I’m using the software.

But for now, I’ve had way too much fun for one person and I can’t keep my eyes open.  I have a huge backlog of photos to go through, blog entries to write, and I *really* need to get “Finish the redesign of Good Advices/fix that stupid rss 2.0 feed” off of Someday/Maybe, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that going to bed right now is the best thing I can do.  And I will do so with a mind like water.

THANK YOU, SENIORS!

matty gilroy, ncaa champion, hobey baker winner

I am speechless.

This BU hockey season was nothing short of amazing.  I think I’ve said that time and time again.  In person, on line, in email, on the phone, on Twitter, on Facebook, you get the idea.

I had not wanted to put all my hope in this team and get crushed.  Or worse, jinx them.  Every year, my favorite team to win it all just can’t get it done in the playoffs.  I did not want to do that to BU.  Even though, of course, they were my favorite to win.  (My second favorite was Miami (OH) and we know how it turned out for them the past few years…)

It was a spectacular game last night.  I watched it in a bar in CT as we waited for Instrument to take the stage.  The best part was that Jamie made it back from Ohio in time for the game and we watched it together.  It would not have been the same without him. We were obnoxious - for that, I’m not proud - but withholding the emotion was just impossible.  We treated the bar to a few rounds of “The Song”, some “Hey, Baby” and, after finding out Jack Parker has won more NCAA tourney games than Jerry York, we treated the bar to a rousing rendition of “Jerry York is a horse’s ass”.

I could link to a dozen stories about the game, and how amazing this team was.  It really was the senior leadership that made this team what they were.  There is no doubt about that.  Out of the seniors, Matt Gilroy was a favorite of mine.  How could you not like a guy who wears 97 to honor his little brother? A guy who pushed for bracelets to honor their number one Starr of the game? (Ms. Starr was a huge benefactor of BU Hockey and a member of the board of the BU Friends of Hockey and she lost her battle with thyroid cancer.)  A guy who passed up in the neighborhood of TWENTY pro offers, who played without a scholarship his senior year, in order to play with his younger brother, Kevin?

I love Matty and I’m going to miss him.  A lot.  I think this article says it all and then some: Matt Gilroy joins an elite group as the fifth player to win both the Hobey Baker award and the NCAA Championship.

This was a magical year, and losing this senior class is going to hurt.  But I can’t thank them enough for letting the fans follow them as they delivered on Petey’s Promise.

Thank you Matty, Smoke, J-Lo, Higgy, Yip, Johnny, and thank you to the rest of the BU Hockey program - including the Dog Pound, Hot Dog & Jesus, and Shatty’s Thing - you made this season incredible and I’m so fortunate I got to be a part of it…

I’m a Mac and a PC and I love Lotus Notes.

PONY! :: ben and jerry’s, waterbury, vt :: april 4, 2009

Last weekend, while I was in Vermont (April 3-5), I apparently set teh interweb on fire with my excitement over Lotus Notes and eProductivity.

Eric Mack blogged about our meeting at the GTD Summit and how excited I was about eProductivity (his software). I WAS wicked excited. So excited, in fact, that if it meant I’d have to begin using Lotus Notes, I’d be ALL OVER THAT. (It’s never too late to switch to Lotus Notes.)

Ed Brill, over at IBM, not only caught Eric’s entry, he picked up on my tweets.  (Eric Mack has made a Notes convert…)

Then, Eric posted an audio interview we did at the Summit. (Listen to how I help…)

Here’s the backstory:

Like most people who use GTD, I’m all about finding a system that helps me reduce drag.  While I do love a good paper based system, it’s not always practical.  I’m on a PC at work all day and, as such, I spend too much time in Outlook.  I’ve never really been comfortable with Outlook - it’s just never done it for me.  It doesn’t matter how much I mess around with the settings, how much I hack the crap out of it, I just can’t get Outlook to work for *me*.  So, I was looking for something new. 

Enter Eric Mack and eProductivity. 

I’ve been reading Eric’s blogs on and off since I got into GTD two years ago.  I had seen the mentions of eProductivity and was intrigued by it.  When I got the chance to see the demo at the GTD Summit, I was beyond excited.  What I was seeing - in just the demo - blew my mind.  It looked like it was built for me.  Everything I was looking for in GTD software was right there.  Eric and I chatted a little bit, I drooled a whole lot, and it came up that I had no idea that Lotus Notes was still around.  I’m not stupid… I know David Allen uses Lotus Notes, but I had it in my head that it was stagnant software.  Like it hadn’t been updated in a zillion years. I also had it in my head that even if it was still out there and being updated, it was only on an enterprise level.  Not a single user level.  Definitely not available on a Mac in any way, shape or form.  Eric set me straight and I left our meeting excited to get up to my hotel room and download Lotus Notes for the Mac.  It was HARD to get to the download area - I had to create a log in! Dude, that’s too much work! - and then, the entire layout was just unfriendly. It was really a battle.  I was not happy at all.  Not quite frustrated, but unhappy. Very unhappy.  Eric and I had a quick chat in the elevator about it the next morning, which led to the recorded interview. (BTW - so happy I don’t sound like an ass!)

When I got home from the Summit, I tried to install Lotus Notes on the Mac.  It installed, wouldn’t do email, and then crashed and burned. Now, when I try to start the software, it tells me that it can’t find the user ID and it can’t find the server.  I don’t know what’s wrong.  Googling isn’t getting me the answers I need, and the IBM tech note assumes you’re in a business environment - not on a couch, in your jammies, with a MacBook on your lap.  I’m a little over using Notes on the Mac.  I just can’t get it to behave and I’m seriously tired of fighting with it. I never did get eProductivity installed on there, either. I had been using OmniFocus - with great results - but it grew old very quickly and I haven’t opened it, or updated my lists, in forever. I have it on both the Mac and the iPhone - the ability to sync had been huge - and now I don’t use either version.  Stale. Stale. Stale.  I’m a bad GTD’er.

On the work side, I had a crappy PC which was running Outlook 2000. It wouldn’t save a password.  Word wouldn’t do mail merges.  Quickbooks kept crashing.  I don’t know why I thought trying to install Notes on that screaming disaster was a good idea.  There was much more frustration.  MUCH more frustration. And angry tweets. Very angry tweets.  I must say that getting help from Eric Mack himself - on my birthday, no less - certainly made it tolerable.

I ended up getting a new computer earlier than planned. As soon as I got it up and running, I downloaded fresh copies of both Lotus Notes and eProductivity.  They installed like a charm and I haven’t looked back.  Every day, I open Notes and view my lists in eProductivity with a huge smile on my face.  (Yes, I AM a dork.  Thanks for asking.)  I work for two people I call Crazy Makers and just knowing that I have a trusted system where I can find everything seriously makes my day.  I NEVER felt that comfortable with Outlook. It’s much easier to deal with their constant insanity now!! I really love how easy it is to create projects, subprojects, link documents and write notes in the system while I’m on the phone with them, trying desperately to keep up as they jump from topic to topic.

I was trying to explain to a friend why coughing up almost $500 on this software combination was a good idea and I just couldn’t do it.  For me, the combo of Lotus Notes and eProductivity on a PC is like using a Mac: It. Just. Works. (Not really a compelling argument when you’re talking to the controller of the checkbook, but I seriously don’t know how else to explain it.  It’s like saying GTD is life changing.  Unless you’ve experienced it yourself, ya’ll think we’re just a bunch of uber-organized, productivity-obsessed whackjobs.)

At this point, I don’t care if I need to get a paper route to pay for it.  Lotus Notes and eProductivity will NOT be coming off the work PC once the trials are over.  I will fight to the death to keep the software. 

And, despite all my issues, I’m still not ready to give up on the Mac… but I don’t know what my next step is.  I need a Lotus Notes / Mac Guru and I’m willing to pay for help!  I want to experience that mind like water state at home, too.  If you are ready, willing and able, please email me:  tamara [dot] nelson [at] gmail [dot] com - or find me on Twitter (I’m uconntam).

Now, it’s off to bed. Tomorrow, I’m heading into Connecticut (again) to hang out with my favorite little brother, and see my friends’ band, Instrument (again).  I’m seriously starting to think I need a project called: “Move Back to Connecticut.”  Or maybe I need a project called: “Stop being the band’s official photographer, you dolt.  You live three hours away!”  (Shameless plug: Instrument on MySpace)  When I return, I promise to share the amazing adventures of PONY!

ETA: Eric Mack has picked this entry up! View Eric’s commentary.

ETA X 2: Dear Universe, I don’t know what you did, but THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Lotus Notes is working on the Mac side!!!!!!!!!  eProductivity, here I come!

Eh…

ben and derek :: hot topic, westfarms mall, ct :: march 27, 2009

Well… I had this entry planned where I was going to talk about my awesome weekend in Vermont. 

I had another entry planned where I was going to geek out about eProductivity and Lotus Notes… and how cool it was to be blogged about twice by Eric Mack and once by Ed Brill (of IBM).

Instead, I came home from Vermont to an unhappy husband. There was a family emergency and he needed to take off to Ohio to be with them.

I’m going to be quiet for a bit while I deal with the enormity of this new batch of bad news. When I come back, there will be much geekery, some PONY! and a couple of good stories. 

But for now, I’m just going to hide and hope things get better…