And so this is how 2012 begins…

Listening to Violate fan mixes, re-watching AHS to get screen grabs, working on AHS themes both for my tumblr page and my tumblr dashboard… nice and quiet way to roll in the new year.

We didn’t do anything special for either Christmas or New Year’s. Just two extra days off - nothing to celebrate and no one to celebrate with.  It hit me hard this year, but I saw it coming. It’s just the fact of the matter, you know? It’s the 10th Christmas without him; another year starting that he won’t be here for.

I suppose for all the “shit and the piss and the vomit” that ran through 2011, enough good things came out of it for me to feel hope for the new year. I’m loving Florence + The Machine and Foster the People. I don’t listen to commercial radio, so for the latter part of this year, the AHS community has been huge for me. I keep finding new music, new songs that I didn’t know existed.

I’ve pretty much written off a friendship or two this year because they’re not worth the level of drama they’ve created, but I’ve let far more people into my world than I ever have in the past. Maybe it’s because they welcomed me with open arms… I’ve met them in the weirdest places: bars, BOSCON, the passenger seat of my Subaru, our back deck, tumblr. This is definitely the year my passion has been rewarded. Maybe the drunk boy knew what he was talking about after all.

Speaking of passion and that drunk boy, well… he received several hug tackles and kisses on the cheek for the floodgates he opened. It took time, effort, and a whole metric shit-ton of mental preparation, but I finally let HIM back into my life. For good this time. We’ve both changed and now that he’s had some help, he almost resembles the person I miss the most.

2011 redeemed itself at the end and it gave 2012 a pretty good blueprint to follow.

So, yeah, I have a lot of hope that this year will progress nicely.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD, JACKASS!

After all he put me through, I can still hear him say “You’re my back-that-ass-up plan” every time I use the term “back-up plan”.

If I use “Plan B”, I think of really nomalicious (LOOK! I coined a new word!) burgers at this restaurant in Glastonbury, CT and that makes me both hungry and sad. (They’re too far away for satisfying the craving…)

AND… to further add to the nuts driving, after I hear him say “back-that-ass-up plan”, freaking “I’m Yours” comes on whatever musical device I’m listening to.

Boys. Are. Stupid.

I know who my friends are.

Nothing like getting a “Merry Christmas” text from an unexpected person… and not expecting the warm fuzzies that went along with it.

I love my drunk boys… Even if the other one gets all the attention, the one that sent the text is just as important to me.

Merry Christmas, you.

And thank you for everything… I’ll see you again soon.

Slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God

Cleaning out the TiVo led me to a special on the 25th anniversary of the Challenger Disaster.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I was watching it in Miss Freeman’s fourth grade classroom, curled up with Una, her Fidelco Guide Dog In Training. (She fostered the puppies so they could get socialized.)  I’ll never forget the feel of the dog’s tongue as she licked the tears away. I became obsessed with it and I still have that scrapbook. It’s wicked thick, but it’s got articles from papers all over New England and from news magazines. It’s pretty comprehensive, actually. I even read the Rogers Commission report on the internet, and pieces of that were printed out and included.

Yeah. Obsessed is probably not a strong enough word… Kind of like my “interest” in the Salem Village (now Danvers) Witch Trials. (IT WAS NEVER ACTUALLY SALEM - except for their part in the political bullshit which triggered the ‘affliction’ in the girls. “Witch City” my ass.)

Anyhoo, so I turned on this special and suddenly realized it wasn’t CNN or anything national. Nope, it was from good ol’ WMUR, Channel 9, New Hampshire.

Nothing like watching basically an hour long memorial service to Christa McAuliffe, a teacher at Concord (NH) Nigh School.

I cried through the entire fucking thing, and then for an hour afterwards.

After all this time, after Columbia, after 9-11, after everything else I’ve lived through, the staying power of this one tragedy is astonishing.

Maybe it’s better that way…

AHS is good for me

I present the following three arguments:

Trolling tumblr for AHS themed playlists finds me lots of new music

Wanting a HUGE ass picture of Evan Peters has caused me to relearn Photoshop

Meeting new friends on tumblr is pretty cool, too