And it goes a little something like this…

I can’t decide how I feel about the news I received tonight…

My uncle’s brother left a voice mail telling me Uncle John had died. He was young-ish.

My first reaction was that I didn’t care.

Seriously.

He wasn’t a part of my life, and he hadn’t been for such a long time, that it’s hard to feel anything. It’s sad, but it’s like when a stranger dies. “Oh, yeah. John. I heard he was a nice guy.”

Upon further reflection, I started to feel a little bad.

I mean, I’m not COMPLETELY cold hearted… he left two daughters, a wife, and a granddaughter, in addition to his mother, brother, and sister. (We’ll have to revisit the topic of Makayla Rose later. Seriously, Melanie, WTF?!?)

My relationship with him was really good. Honestly, my aunt was the one that fucked things up between us but I never held anything against him or the girls. I have these great memories of him dressing up as Santa at my grandparents’ house… and some others that I’m not sharing with the interwebs.

I got the call today… a little earlier and I would have been able to make the trip to CT for the funeral. I wouldn’t have been welcome there, but that was a risk I would have taken. For him. NOT for them.

I did suck it up and messaged my aunt on Facebook. It’s as close to her as I want to get. I didn’t message either of the girls. I’m not quite sure what to say to them—“Hey, guys, sorry your dad croaked. LOL Remember when your mom told me she was glad MY father was dead? Yeah. Good times. Skype me, bby. <3”—I know what they’re going through, but I can’t be there for them. I don’t want to be there for them. Not any more. (See imaginary conversation.)

So, I thought by writing this, I’d figure out how I felt about all this… I’m still kind of eh about the whole thing.

It’s sad he died, but in these last 10-ish years, he’d been a stranger to me. It’s hard to feel anything…

And that’s all there is to it.

Too close to home

Nothing like pulling up CNN first thing in the morning and choking on your coffee. Like coffee everywhere… including my lungs.

Gah.

I (naively) never expected to see the headline 1 dead, 4 hurt in high school shooting and have it affect me so… violently.

I know I’m not the most pro-family, huggy, kissy, love-my-relatives type person, but my brother-in-law teaches in a suburb of Cleveland.

Thankfully, he’s on the other side of Cleveland and safe and sound.

But I definitely didn’t need the reminder that this could happen anywhere, anytime, and sadly, sometimes, too close to home.

Just another night around these parts

In the past twenty minutes, we’ve talked about:

• porn stashes
• robot sex
• whether or not dead werewolves can turn into ghosts
• If those dead werewolves change during full moons
• how do vampires deal with women’s periods

Yeah. After fourteen years, we’re still having fun together.

Can’t ask for anything more!

Tear the world apart, my friend.

I’d say we’re friends with all of our fans.- Orion Kribs, Black Mountain Symphony

From the argument last night about how I’m not their number one fan (which I lost, btw), to the 2AM hugfest with Orion, I’d have to say that yes, that statement is very true.

Last night’s show at the Putnam Den was exactly what I needed, when I needed it most.

I don’t know what it is about them, but between the music and the people, I am one lucky girl.

Team Mockingjay, bitches!

Hunger Games spoilers ahead

The insanity is already starting - I swear to Dog if I hear someone ask “Team Peeta” or “Team Gale”, I’m going to punch them in the nuts.

This isn’t a love story like that fucked up one about the disco balls, puppies, and the girl who is weak as fuck.

This is a story about a girl who chooses to volunteer for certain death at the hands of her government. While there is a bit of a love story, it’s ultimately about her and the choices she makes to stay alive and survive the Hunger Games. The story continues in the next two books with what her survival means to her community, to the country as a whole, really.

Yes, boys make appearances, and yes, there are feelings for those boys. But, honestly, I didn’t get the feeling that the girl was really in love with either of them. If she was, the writing was weak, because I didn’t feel like I was consistently hit over the head with it. Yes, she winds up with one of them. The realization of her feelings toward him is sweet, simple, and kind of blah, truth be told: “You love me. Real or not real?” “Real,” I tell him.

But if that’s what you’re looking for when you’re reading the books, you’re missing the fucking point.

Because this is the story of a girl who starts a rebellion and winds up with a hot boy as a kind of an afterthought.