I still haven’t updated the back end of this little blog (build date 20130506) so uploading photos and writing entries has been much more difficult than I have patience for.
While I’ve been disappeared, I’ve been busy. Just not doing very exciting things.
I moved into my own place in early June and it has been fucking wonderful. I love being alone - I forgot how amazing it is. (What? I’m an only child. I’ve lived with someone for 26 years. That’s a lot of… living with someone. And, yes, I know that I lived with my parents, but those were my parents. It wasn’t like I had much choice.)
The job from hell is still the job from hell, but my sales tax consultants filed July’s taxes with few headaches. I also found a company to build me “Wendell’s Way Cool Sales Tax Calculator”. All I need to do is upload the shipments / drop manifests and the program spits out the three reports I use. This is very exciting for several reasons, most of all the amount of time it has been saving me.
I’ve been unable to close a month since I closed March. I just did April. I’m starting May as soon as I get August’s sales tax file over to the consultants. That’s so pathetic, but this sales tax thing has been all consuming for months now. At least the owner has been patient with me. I actually got a lecture about pushing myself so hard. As a result, I was talked into taking a four day weekend.
I spent most of yesterday doing absolutely nothing, but I did get a run in.
I’ve dialed in my run/walk ratio and for a 5K, I’m a consistent 16/16:30 minute mile. That’s Disney safe, but I need to make sure it’s sustainable for 13 miles. I’ve got two half marathons coming up that have strict time limits… one of them is my very last Disney race. Yeah, I’m hanging up the running shoes, at least as far as Disney is concerned. It’s too expensive and I’ve not enjoyed my trips to the House of Mouse. I’m a Uni girl through and through.
I was going to go for a run this afternoon, but now that I’m ready to leave, a peek out the window is telling me that it would appear that rain is imminent. Whatever. I still have two days to try and get a long run in. I’ll probably go tomorrow morning.
Today, I’ve spent working on a business plan and laying the groundwork to start my own business. For years I’ve been thinking about hanging up my shingle and running an accounting company. (Well, I’m not a CPA so I can’t advertise being an “accounting” company in the state of FL, so it will have to be bookkeeping. Which I’m fine with.)
The only thing about this that bothers me is that everyone I’ve asked is telling me that my name sucks. It’s not serious enough. It’s confusing. As a result, I’m going with my second choice, but meh. I figure once I get established as a ‘serious’ company, I can change to that name. It’s fine. I locked down the domain name, a Facebook page, and an instagram handle. I need to grab a Facebook page for name number two, but I already have the domain and two that are very similar. The major, major issue with the second choice is that there is a “kinky bisexual” couple that show up as the #1 hit on google. (How kinky? They have an OnlyFans site. Fuck me. Or maybe don’t. I don’t know anymore.)
Aaaaaaand, here comes the rain.
Anyhoo, I’ve found a virtual office because 1) I’m not using my home address and 2) I can’t use my apartment as my business location. It will violate the terms of my lease. I still need to find a phone service because I’m not giving out my personal number. I’m leaning towards RingCentral because I can get multiple phone numbers and I’m thinking that I’ll need a Florida and a Maine number at some point. I’m going to work on pricing and the types of work that I want to do this weekend. Maybe later tonight. I don’t know. If not, it’s something I can easily do on Monday or even at lunch during the work day.
So, yeah, things are rocking and rolling. I’ve planned on launching the business by October 1st, so I have to get cracking with the administration bits and the certifications I want to hold. I figure if I can make X my first year, and scale it to Y in the second, I’ll be able to sustain myself enough to move home and not need to work for someone else. I think it’s highly possible to do that AND work full time, but we’ll see. I’d rather get stuck in FL for a third year while building up the business, but I’m ready to get out of here NOW. It’s a struggle.
Tomorrow’s agenda includes making an apple coffee cake, going for a run and doing some card making / organizing my supplies. I already did a lot of shopping because some of my ink pads died and I can’t get refills (the company went out of business). I’m planning on opening an Etsy store, too. Of course, that has to be done under a different name and a different business license in FL. OF COURSE. Fuckers. (Again, I’m not using any of my personal information for this and I’m calling the bookkeeping company a BOOKKEEPING company and registering it as an LLC, so I couldn’t mix the two if I wanted to.) *sigh*
That still leaves me Monday. I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself. I’m already bored and trying to climb the walls.
Although… that could be chalked up to the QB Online certification I’m working on.
Whatever.
I’m alive and thriving right now. I feel the best I have in a long time.
I’ve been living in an absolute shit show lately and well, it went from bad to worse on May 3rd.
Quick recap: South Dakota sued Wayfair in 2018 and won, which means that ANY company delivering goods to their state has to pay sales tax.
Just like when Roe v Wade fell, the entire country hopped right the fuck on that and started changing their laws to include something called ‘economic nexus’. It used to be that having a physical location in the state (office, warehouse, etc) required the payment of sales tax. Now, remote employees and sales over a certain dollar amount trigger nexus.
We deliver to a lot of states. A LOT. Amazingly enough, most of the laws have been in place since 2018, but it’s finally become a thing now.
I’ve spent a lot of time combing through our sales and finding a consultant to help me detangle this mess… and it’s bad. It’s really bad.
I’d pulled all nighters for two weeks, which combined with the anniversary of my father’s death and my mother’s birthday.
Did I say absolute shit show? Yeah.
Any way, I’m feeling particularly needy on my mom’s birthday and went to the husband for a hug. Something was off, so I asked him if we were OK and then he told me that he hadn’t felt anything for me in two years. TWO YEARS.
So, basically, I’ve been held hostage in Florida for TWO YEARS. If he had said something back then, I would have packed up and started the next chapter.
Well, he dropped that bomb on the 3rd and here it is the 20th. We’ve already divided up the furniture in the house, we’re looking for places to move to, and the house is just about ready to put on the market.
Every one I’ve discussed the details with keeps asking why we’re moving so quickly, why we’re not trying therapy. It’s been 26 years, doesn’t that mean anything? Blah blah blah.
If I’m to be honest, I haven’t liked him very much for a few years now, but it was convenient and easy to stay with him. Amazingly, those are the same reasons he never said anything.
I’m not sure there’s anything worth saving.
And I highly doubt that any amount of couples therapy is going to convince me to stay in Florida.
I feel more betrayed by his inability to tell me TWO YEARS ago - when it would have been easier to pack up and move home - than if he had slept with every. single. fucking. person in the entirety of this cesspool of a state.
So. Yeah. That.
The odd thing is that, despite how long we were together, I’m really very excited to move onto the next chapter of my life.
I’m stuck in FL for a little longer, but I’ve promised myself I’m moving home in two or three years.
I haven’t picked a place yet.
All I know for sure is that I will not be winding up in Connecticut.
I didn’t give him enough credit when The Slim Shady EP dropped, but fuck, he gets it all and more now.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoy the way he plays with words. The way they fit his mouth, dance over the track, just… everything.
This song right now is on repeat. Ed Sheeran’s chorus is spot on, the word play, and the emotion that comes across in that one “FUCK!” (you’ll know when you hear it)—Absolute perfection. Every single second of it.
(TW: abortion)
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Two weekends ago, I spent three amazing days with my little brother.
I hadn’t realised how much I needed to see him until that first hug in Epcot.
I was the first friend he ever brought home from college and, apparently, I’m the only one that stuck around.
There’s so much I can say about that… but I’m not ready to discuss it. Yet.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
I hired a photographer to do a Dopey medal photo shoot at Uni. It was a birthday present to myself, but I didn’t splurge - I hired a person who took photos as a hobby so that she could build out her portfolio and… I’m not happy with about 99% of them, but this one came out exactly as I imagined it! Well… if the medals were in focus, maybe.
if people are scouring my search history, they should be very concerned
Two weekends, two races, two very different results.
Last weekend was a 10K and I was Dead Fucking Last. So far in the back that they left the timing mat down and one girl stood there with one solitary medal for me.
This weekend, I attempted a half marathon and Did Not Finish. In my defense, I really had to pee.
This race was two loops, so I passed the starting / finish line twice before looping back for the final crossing. This is important.
Well.
There was not a single port-a-pottie on the race course. NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE.
It wasn’t bad enough that I was so far in the back, they had pulled down the timing mat at the halfway point. I was so far back that the cops forced me onto the sidewalk (Which, thanks, Doral. You’ll be getting my bill from the ER for the broken ankle.) I was so far back that near the halfway point, all the water stations within three miles were poofed. I was so far back that the cops were gone after I turned back for the final five miles.
I was so far back that I decided to pee instead of crossing the finish line.
Hear me out.
When I got to the finish line with three miles still to go, the clock read 3 hours and they were starting to tear it down. I finish in 4 right now.
Near the finish line is the one and only public restroom on the entire course.
My choices were absolutely ridiculous:
1) pee my pants, finish in four hours, but not cross the timing mat (DNF)
2) step off the course, take my pee, finish in 4:15, but not cross the timing mat (DNF)
3) walk down the finisher’s chute, pull my bib off, head to the bathroom before crossing the timing mat, pee, and go home. (DNF)
Option 3 was my best one, I’m sad to say.
Did I say I really had to pee?
I went over to the official timer - after I went to the loo, of course - and told them if they were waiting for me, I wasn’t finishing.
Do you know what he said?
He said that they could leave the timing mat down if I wanted to finish, but they had to clear the road. That’s why they were tearing everything down.
Well, fuck me.
Honestly, I don’t regret my decision. I made it based on the knowledge available to me 10 miles in and with a full bladder.
I am writing to the race director, though.
1) I know I’m slow, but tearing down the finish line at the three hour mark of a half marathon AND NOT POSTING THAT THERE IS A TIME LIMIT is just rude. I would have never signed up if I knew I had to run a 3/3:30. That’s not possible right now. (Maybe they don’t actually have a time limit, because I was allowed to continue. I just lost all race support.)
2) You honestly can’t expect people to go 13 miles without a bathroom break. The 5 and 10Ks at Disney always have lines at the port-a-potties and public restrooms and those are less than half of a half marathon.
The funny / sad thing about this is that I never have to pee during a race. NEVER.
Well, never say never.
But on the flip side, my PHRC shirt made me a new friend. She was an Eagle, but she didn’t make the transition to the FRC. I can’t say I blame her, but it was nice to put the name to the face. We run a lot of the same races, so it will be nice to know someone at the races, even though she smoked me right off the start line.
Aaaaaand, speaking of the FRC, I’M GOING TO DETROIT!
(Who the fuck is ever excited about going to Detroit?)
I’m meeting up with my pocket friends and we’re going to run the Freep Marathon Weekend.
I posted a picture of my renewed passport with the caption: I’M GOING TO DETROIT! and um, yeah. There was one comment on the status questioning my sanity, but I actually received several DMs asking me if I was OK.
Oh, I am so far from OK… but that’s not related to this.
Also related to FRC - I just did a Battle. Finished with 89 miles over 10 days. I capped three times. We won the race (wooo!!!!), but the best part of all of it was my team. I haven’t been on a team that gave me the warm and fuzzies in a long time.
Oh, did I mention? The course for Battle took us from Erie, PA through Canada, Detroit, Northern Ohio (Toledo, Sandusky, etc.), and back to Erie. Toledo was… fun. Nothing like reliving some of the worst years of my life.
I have stories about stuff and things and I’m not in the right headspace to talk about them right now.
Seems to be the story of my life.
I can part with this, though:
March 18th was the 32nd anniversary of my mother’s death.
She died when I was 16.
She has been dead for double the amount of time she was in my life.
