Martin Freeman’s tongue: an appreciation post

March 13, 2013 :: 4:58 PM

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i swear to dog, there needs to be a tumblr blog dedicated to nothing but freeman’s tongue…

Didn’t get the job I wanted, but I have an interview tomorrow and a phone interview on Tuesday.

I don’t know about other states, but filing an unemployment claim in NH is a pain in the ass. Do you know how many places I send my resume to on a daily basis?!?! I had like five screens worth of data. It was that ridiculous.

So much I want to vent about… but I’m pretty proud of myself for submitting this cover letter, so I’ll block out the ick with proof of my insanity. I’ve honestly never seen a job posting online that would merit some sort of response like this, but I’m glad the creative part of my brain came out to play. I’m even happier that it worked in my favor. Have a phone screen next Tuesday.

To whom it may concern,

Despite your request for a lengthy cover letter, I promise to keep it short in order to make sure you actually read my letter instead of falling asleep. I’m sure you’ve received thousands of cover letters that all say the same thing, so please indulge me while I endeavor to make my boring cover letter stand out in the massive sea of paperwork you’ve been swallowed by,.

I would LOVE to work in the beautiful city of Haverhill, MA! It’s my favorite place on earth! (That’s pronounced Hay-ver-hill, correct?) I would be unbelievably thrilled to work for a company that is stable and has a great team of people to work with. I would especially love having to attach a coversheet to my TPS report. I really hope that’s part of your culture, because I love TPS reports as much as I love Haverhill, MA!

Let’s see… It’s probably time to be a little serious. I have over 10 years of accounting experience ranging from A/P to A/R, month and year end closes, analysis of balance sheet accounts, blah, blah blah. You have asked for specifics, so by the end of 3 months, I shall have achieved dominance over the general ledger and made it my pet. By the end of 6th months, I will have finished streamlining any systems that may have some drag to them. I hate drag. It slows me down. By the end of 12 months, you will be wondering how you lived without me.

Basically, I am definitely qualified for the job because I will make that general ledger bow to my will. Let me prove to you just how much I rock during the course of an interview. I was laid off from my previous employer, so I can start within the next thirty five minutes if that suits your needs. (It’s about a half hour drive from the glow-in-the-dark town of da ‘brook, so I will need a little bit of a buffer. I get lost. A lot.)

By the way, I have an excellent sense of humor and play well with others.

It definitely was a huge risk, but it paid off. My dad would be so proud…


One week, five days

March 12, 2013 :: 9:07 PM

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with that face, he either discovered some crack, some slash or red pants monday

I love the fact that the TiVo will record anything with a certain actor in it. Can you say Cumberbatch marathon? I’d forgotten he was in “The Other Boleyn Girl”... he plays Mary’s husband, before she becomes the King’s play toy. He’s also in “Atonement”. Interesting movie, but kind of boring at the same time. Plus, he’s got a mustache. Stachebatch is definitely not one of my favorites. 

So, Jack Parker announced his retirement yesterday. Not really a surprise, but wow. The man has spent 40 years as the head coach of the Terriers. FORTY YEARS. AT ONE UNIVERSITY. COACHING. Such an amazing career, even if some shithead players put a tarnish on it over the past two seasons.

Marshall left UCONN this year, too.

It’s been a bad year for my hockey programs… although UCONN managed to turn around their season and have made it to the Atlantic Hockey tourney. Hopefully, they don’t screw up… I’d love to see them do well, especially since they’re on their way to Hockey East, season after next. It’s time UCONN’s hockey program was taken seriously.

As for everything else…

The one position I didn’t want, I didn’t get. I knew I was done with the interview when he kept asking me about the year I spent at the CPA firm as opposed to my current experience. I was also done when I found out it was a three person accounting department with absolutely no chance for growth… I’m better than an A/P Clerk. I wouldn’t take a position like that unless it was the absolute last interview I’d ever have.

So. Not a big surprise that I got the ‘thanks, but no thanks’ email this morning.

The second company. God, I loved the job description and after the interview(s), I want that job more. They were originally going to make the decision yesterday/today. Then it became today/tomorrow. I haven’t heard a peep yet. Kind of freaking out about it. A lot. It’s frightening to have the perfect job plopped in your lap only one week after being shown the door… and to know that everything hangs on whether or not you were able to charm four different people, one at a time.

Here’s hoping there’s happy news tomorrow…


THE PURPLE SHIRT OF SEX!

February 28, 2013 :: 9:54 PM

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to make myself feel better (john’s jumpers joke not included)

holy. mother. of. fuck. is. this. accurate.


I’ve never filed for unemployment before…

February 28, 2013 :: 7:54 PM

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yup. pretty much sums up me right now (by the way, he’s an adorable hedgehog, ain’t he?)

About two weeks ago, I said Yeah, so the decision I’ve been putting off was pretty much made for me today. Fuck.

I saw the writing on the wall. They were hiring an Assistant GM. The piles of work I had dried up. I hadn’t had a raise since 2010.

But, I foolishly believed it would be different. I gave them three years (probably 4 if you count all the overtime I put in), almost wound up in a psych ward because I was afraid to let them down, and kept the company together during some of the worse bullshit I’ve ever seen.

I’m so glad I started looking for a job a few weeks ago, I’m so glad they gave me a severance package, and I’m so glad to be the fuck out of there.

I haven’t been happy for a long time, but I stuck through the crap because I thought it would be worth it…

... and it wasn’t. It so totally wasn’t.

C’est la vie

Time to move on to bigger and better things.


This is why…

February 11, 2013 :: 11:03 AM

So.

New blogging style.

Let’s discuss, shall we?

1) There’s a lot of bipolar bullshit going on behind the scenes. Once I decided to embrace it (finally, really, truly embrace it), it became obvious that things need to change a lot. I’m dealing with what that means and how it affects people I (used to/still do) care about. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s definitely one of the harder things I’ve needed to come to terms with.

2) I’m still reaching out to kids on tumblr who sound like they could use a sympathetic ear and someone to talk them off of the ledge. It’s exhausting, but if I can make one person feel better, then it’s worth it. There’s a lot of screwed up people out there. I’m struggling to reach the light at the end of the tunnel myself right now, but I do find peace in knowing that it will get better. It always does. It’s been four kids in two months… but I’m not built to walk away from them. It’s not my style. These kids - it’s weird, I know - but they become friends over shared obsessions. It’s an odd friendship, but I’m going to the wedding of a guy I met 15 years ago online and we’ve only met in person once. What’s stranger?

3) There’s some other drama going on - some of it mine, some of it not. It’s hard to talk about certain things when it’s hard to tell who the audience is. I’m kind of cruising through my stats, but just because the source is a certain state, doesn’t mean that it’s so-and-so. It could be someone new. Without knowing for sure, and without having to password protect, I’m having a hard time being comfortable with blogging “my” way here.

4) Different things are important to me at different points in time. Right now, running away from my problems and concentrating on Superwholock is what I need to do. I need some distance and some perspective. Running away is giving me time to work through it. Whether my friends like it or not? Let me refer you back to Benedict Cumberbatch flipping the bird... If you pay for my hosting, my blog software license, and talk to me when I need you to, then we can talk about the content of my blog. Until then, bite me.

So there you go. I can guarantee you there’s more tumblr spam on the way. Delete me from your RSS reader’s subscriptions now if that’s not your thing. If it is, feel free to follow me on tumblr as well: I’m destiels-tardis-is-sherlocked.

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