i love martin freeman’s partner
From time to time (especially now since hockey season is long gone), it’s easy to forget that I work in an arena.
Today, I could barely get into the parking lot because of all the trucks and tour buses.
I had to flash my staff ID at a security guard so I could get into the building.
I have no idea who the bands are that are playing tonight, but I heard their sound checks. Oh, sorry, “line checks”. The data sheet from the producer was very clear that they weren’t doing sound checks. Dunno. They sound about the same to me. Anyhoo… The acts are classified as EDM (electronic dance music, whatever the fuck THAT is), so we can’t sell alcohol. This type of music brings out the “Molly” (or X for us old farts) users, so we keep them hydrated. Lots of water located around the arena and nothing else available. Fascinating.
On Friday, we’re playing host to “The Justin Bieber of Country Music”. His show starts early and there’s a pre-show meet and greet which means that early Friday afternoon (3-ish?), shit’s going to get CRAZY.
Teen aged girls running amok in my building. Being teen aged girls.
Seriously though, I love my job like I can’t even put into words.
When I interviewed, I asked what the vacation time was like and I was told I get 365 vacation days… I seriously thought he was joking, but I love what I do and where I do it so much that every day is like a vacation day. No false advertising there!
I’m halfway through my Ukie lessons.
That’s both good and bad. I’m still struggling to learn what I feel are basic concepts (nouns, verbs, adjectives, pronouns) because they have different spellings determined by gender and case. It’s a hard language to learn, and as I’m fond of saying, the Cyrillic alphabet is adding a new level of complexity.
There’s a new all-age drum corps starting up this year. I was interested in joining it, but I cant be bothered to fill out the paperwork and send it in.
I guess that means that I’m not as interested in joining as I thought I’d be.
I’ve been thinking about starting up my work outs again, but I don’t want to pay for the trainer and I’m not going to the gym. (I’m too self-conscious and awkward to be comfortable at the gym.)
I’ve been thinking about starting fencing again, but I don’t want to compete, so what’s the point?
I looked into grad schools again.
I don’t know what I want right now…
All I know is that I’ve got a bad case of wanderlust and nowhere I really want to wander to.
this man is pure perfection, even at his dorkiest
What a crazy week.
It is hard to learn a new job when the person training you doesn’t know what they’re doing.
I don’t mean that in a ‘he’s stupid’ kind of way, but a ‘he walked into a completely fucked up situation that he was unprepared for and has no idea where to even start cleaning up the mess and oh my Dog, what the fuck do I do with this person sitting next to me chomping at the bit to do stuff?’ kind of way.
After three weeks, he’s made some major progress and I feel like I’ve learned enough to start doing stuff on my own. I spent all of Friday at my own desk working on the few things I know how to do. It was crappy data entry - two months of catch up for two different buildings - but it was GLORIOUS. I’ve never been so happy to just sit at a desk and endlessly type random crap like “0020-000-00” and “0037-002-00” a gazillion times.
Unlike the last jackwagon I worked for, he LOVES that I’m taking notes. Good notes. None of that “if you can’t understand this, you’re stupid” kind of shit.
I honestly do not know how I could possibly be any happier. (Outside of having this exact job in the UK, perhaps… but that’s not an option right now.)
Found out two good friends broke up last night. It breaks my heart.
Also spent the last two days texting with a friend who is getting a divorce. They’re not in a good place, and it’s not an exaggeration to say that I feel like I’m on suicide watch. I’ve been so careful with what I’ve been saying, but it’s exhausting to not let them have it with both barrels. I’m glad that - despite the amount I fell apart during my unemployment - I’m strong enough to be able to be here for them over the past two days. It hasn’t been easy and it kind of ruined my night out with Black Mountain Symphony last night, but that’s what friends do right?
However, it was an emotionally exhausting two days (so far - I’m currently being ignored again), and now I know why I internalise everything and don’t unload on friends.
Possibly related, my phone’s internal dictionary has decided to ignore the fact that it’s set to British English and seeing words spelt the American way is annoying. It’s starting to seriously fuck with my head.
I guess that’s a sign that my employer needs to move to England sooner rather than later…
I’ve decided to take the little bit of both the Johnlock and Marlas 30 Day OTP Challenges I’ve written and post them on AO3. I hate when people publish unfinished works, but after driving to both Worcester and Chester, VT this weekend, the voices in my head have told me it’s time to polish and post.
I’ve never been able to argue with the creativity-related voices in my head.
I have to go to the DMV tomorrow because I lost my car registration.
This is most annoying because:
1) I need it to receive a campus parking permit, which means I have to pay for parking
2) My registration expires in March and I don’t want to pay for a certified copy of one that expires in two months.
The only good thing in all this? I didn’t get pulled over the night my speedometer and tachometer froze.
I thought I was doing 25 MPH on the highway at that point but the engine was screaming at me to shift. I was confused because the tach only said 0. (Should have been a clue that something was seriously wrong. However, I forgot D.O.D.‘s main rule of driving: remove head, insert key. Whoops.) In my defence, the traffic had been stop and go so 25 seemed totally reasonable. It wasn’t until after I shifted that I realised I was pretty fucked. One of the best things my never ending road trips have ever done for me is give me an excellent relationship with my car. Seriously. I can tell when I’m doing over 65 and it’s abundantly clear when I’m doing over 75. Once I realised that the speedo and tach were frozen in place (literally frozen), I calmed down and started to let my car tell me what to do.
By the time the needles returned to where they belonged, I was holding steady at 65. Exactly.
It’s probably best that I was able to do that… Could you imagine the conversation if I got pulled over?
“Do you know how fast you were going?” “Honestly? I have no fucking idea. Literally.”
if there was a ship, lord gatiss sailed it
Related - although not nearly as scary as some collections, I will admit that there were so many London / Sherlock books in my office that my fan fiction ‘research material’ now has a shelf all to itself. It will grow at some point. Being unemployed had reduced my book shopping budget quite a bit, but I’ve got $25 from Barnes and Noble burning a hole in my pocket…
sherlock returns tomorrow!
Last year, my #threewords were self, create, and family.
I think I did well -
SELF: despite being unemployed for most of the year, and dealing with a serious, debilitating, case of depression, there were days when I was able to pull myself out of it and function.
There were also days when I excelled at being a functional human, despite The Ick.
This was probably the worst bipolar / depression episode I’ve ever had, if only because of the length of time it lasted.
But I survived it, no matter how hard it was to remember that depression lies.
CREATE: I published four pieces of fan fic on AO3. While I’m not a superstar, I’ve gotten some kudos, some nice comments, and a proofreader out of it. If I grow some balls, I might even have a brit-picker.
And I’m still writing - I have a Cabin Pressure 30 Day OTP Challenge I’m struggling with, the NaNoWriMo Case Fic / Johnlock disaster that really needs some serious editing, the Sherlock 30 Day OTP Challenge I started as a warm up to NaNo, and I’ve got an idea for another Johnlock fic that I toyed with a long time ago. It never came to fruition because I didn’t know the best way to handle it. After reading a similar Cabin Pressure fic, everything clicked and I can see that those first two pages have a lot of promise.
I didn’t do nearly as much photography as I wanted to, and I never learned how to sew, but I think the amount I wrote more than makes up for it. I also got some quality knitting done, so all things considered, “create” was probably my most successful word.
FAMILY: I spent a lot of time with my Albany family and managed to expand it. I knit a sweater for L. I managed to create/strengthen relationships with high school and college friends that previously didn’t exist in anything similar to their current form. I let go of close friends that I considered family when their behavior turned toxic.
... and finally, oddly, I managed to piss off a member of my family with my deeply rooted belief that I am Polish. Only the National Archives in Warsaw know for sure… but I’m still holding out hope.
This year, I’m not sure what my three words should be. I have a rough idea, but I don’t know if these three are final yet.
I came up with the lame “happy/happiness” for the first one. (At least I think it’s lame - the word, not the idea behind it.) I want to focus on doing more things that make me happy. Whether that’s to write more, spend more time with my family, get my ass to London at least for a visit, stay at the new job, continue to embrace the SuperWhoLock family and the friends I made there, I just want to do the stupid little things that make me happy. I spent too much of 2013 feeling like a victim, “suffering” from the bipolar and really letting it define who I was. That’s not really something I’m proud of - and while the bipolar is something I’ll always have to deal with - I handled it poorly this year, despite my few victories.
The second one would have to be “travel”. I want to visit far away places this year (London, obviously), but there are places closer to home to see as well. I really want to play tour guide when my friend from Cincy finally gets her ass to the East Coast, and sometimes there’s nothing better than being a tourist in your own town. I’d like to spend more time with Black Mountain Symphony. I’d like to spend more time in Connecticut with my friends and family there.
I think the third one has to be “J”. This year has been super rough on both of us, and I know I’ve taken advantage of his kindness and patience several hundred thousand times. Part of me couldn’t help it (unfortunately, the depression really forced him to step up and be a grown up which I hated), and part of me just watched as he did things that I was going to do later that day, and part of me tried to make up for it in stupid little ways that aren’t nearly enough. He’s been my rock through everything that’s happened since January 1998 and I can’t imagine my life without him, so it’s probably time that I let him know that I’m sorry for 2013 and 2014 will be a better year for us. My biggest fear is that I’ll lose him. There’s only so much crap I can put him through before he gets fed up, right? Shit, I hated myself for most of this year. I don’t know how or why he’s still around… I would have left me a long time ago.
No - there hasn’t been any sign of things going that bad between us, but it’s a very real fear that’s taken root lately. He really is the Hubby of Wonder because I wonder every day why he’s still here.
These kind of overlap with last year’s, but I’m OK with that.
Happy end of 2013, everyone… may 2014 give you everything your heart desires.