Ukrainian

The kotyonok and his asshole


December 21, 2019 :: 8:50 AM

it is hard as fuck to slow burn two characters you desperately want together

OK. So. Fun stuff first.

I didn’t win Nano, but the complete re-write of my YOI fan fic is going particularly well.

Telling it from the point of view of a fifteen year old under extreme amounts of pressure has been interesting. My headcanon for him is pretty brutal, but - shockingly - it’s not as bad as I’ve seen in other fics. I’ve given him anger issues, anxiety, everything fifteen year old me experienced long before it had a name. I’m not necessarily making him bipolar, but he’s definitely got issues. I’ve also given him an amazing version of his already pretty awesome grandpa, though. And brought in some of my experiences growing up Ukrainian. A lot of that cultural knowledge has been lost to time - and the swiss cheese my memory has become due to some of my meds - but I’m able to remember enough to google what I need and then find a Russian translation for it.

The biggest issue I’ve had is not digging up the ghosts of my past brushes with undiagnosed mental illness, but instead the fact that Yuri is 15 and Beka is 18. I hate the aged up fics because it feels like Barcelona is just foreplay. The whole side story of Beka meeting him five years prior to the Grand Prix final gets lost when Yuri is suddenly 18 as well. Beka’s a patient man. He’s been waiting FIVE YEARS to spend time with this boy, and instead of it being creepy, it was so well written that you know Otayuri is going to be canon. Later. It’s a slow burn of the slowest type.

I’m not the best with writing slow burns because I’m impatient… but it’s important not to rush this. Granted, the age of consent is low enough in all the concerned countries where it doesn’t matter, but American readers are often squicked out by it. Yuri is considered underaged, which is why he’s aged up by other impatient writers.

It’s challenging to write a young boy who wants everything NOW. Who wants the acceptance of this skater he looks up to. Who actually likes him. Despite the walls he’s built due to his backstory, he really wants Beka in his life. He thinks he loves Beka… On the flip side, Beka’s waited five years. I don’t see any reason why he can’t wait another three. I’ve made it obvious that he has a crush on Yuri, but he has the self-control required to not devour the boy.

It’s been hard, and it’s gone off the rails a few times, (I’ve rewritten one chapter multiple times!) but it’s better for the additional edits.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

OK. Serious stuff now.

Trump’s been impeached.

And he’s not going to pay the price of essentially breaking the law. (Gross simplification. I’m not a political scholar.)

I understand WHY it became a matter of parties. I understand WHY a lot of people say that the Dems wanted to undo the 2016 election.

Hell, I’d been wondering what it would take to impeach him and remove him from office - WHILE HE WAS STILL RUNNING.

He’s an absolutely shitty person and his followers… obviously have no morals. No sense of right and wrong. And his own party condones his shitty behaviour. TWITTER condones his shitty behaviour because his tweets are “important” and “historical”. He’s sexually assaulted women, announced that he could kill someone and people would look the other way, has attacked multiple people for really, what amounts to no good reason. (I mean, John McCain wasn’t necessarily one of my favourite people, but he didn’t deserve to be treated so harshly by Trump.) The reporters, the girl speaking out about the environment…there are so many I can’t list them all. OH! What about wanting to hold the G7 Summit at his PERSONAL property? Emoluments clause, anyone? (Not that that’s the only time foreign officials have visited a Trump property…or that the taxpayers are putting money in his pocket since his visits to Mar-A-Lago are essentially paid for by us.)

And the most mind-boggling bit? The part that drives me up the fucking wall? Trump attacked Greta Thunberg not once but TWICE. His fucking wife who has this anti-bullying campaign, has stayed fucking silent about the fact that her husband, the fucking PRESIDENT, is bullying a SIXTEEN year old girl with Asperger’s. Especially when people think he’s lashing out because she’s Time magazine’s person of the year.

Yeah. That pisses me off.

You have no idea.

I have been hoping and praying that they find a way to remove him from office since day one.

Unfortunately, being a shitty person is not one of the impeachable offences.

He handed the Dems exactly what they needed, but because Trump has visibly pissed the Dems off since day one, it’s definitely caused the impeachment to fall along party lines.

I’m disappointed that the Republicans have decided to protect him at all costs.

I’m disappointed that the Dems can’t figure out how to get a decent candidate in front of the American people… I hate all the front runners, for multiple reasons, some of them - admittedly - not rational.Call it the gut check. I could never verbalise why I hated Clinton and Sanders, either. I just knew I didn’t like them.

I think the impeachment is going to hurt the Dems come this next election and that pisses me off… I wish there were a fair trial coming up instead of this fucking shitshow.

Then again, if I’m going to waste my time on pointless wishes, I might as well wish to go back in time and not move to South Florida. Or I might as well wish for the bipolar behaving itself and not getting fired from my dream job because I had a complete breakdown and couldn’t function. (By the way, I was protected by the EEOC, but they found a loophole. Long story and you’re never going to get the full story here.)

Whatever…

I’m off to binge the Mandalorian… I’m only allowing myself to watch it if I’m on the treadmill. Six episodes at about 30 minutes each is about 3 5Ks or 9 miles at my slower pace. That’s not too bad. I could also make it a game: run full out when Baby Yoda does something adorable or when Mando shows emotion… but then I might be running full out for the 6 episodes. (How the fuck does Pedro Pascal manage to convey so many emotions when you never see his face?!?!?!)

And yes,  I know there are 7, but I’m not allowed to watch it alone and the husband not’s home right now.

Rah! Rah! Ravenclaw!!!!


December 04, 2018 :: 7:23 PM

hogwarts running club :: ravenclaws :: universal orlando fun run :: 01-dec-2018

So. A lot has happened since September, but succeeding at my three words is the one thing I’m most proud of.

My three words for this year were 5K, fandom, and language. It’s only the beginning of December, but I have crushed those.

1) 5K - let’s see… this year, I’ve done three IRL 5Ks. I’ve logged a ton of miles since joining the HRC (79.64 to be exact). That doesn’t count the hundreds of miles I’ve walked around Universal. (Yes. HUNDREDS.)

Between the Hogwarts Running Club and the Whovian Running Club, I’ve earned 7 medals. I’m impressed with myself - that’s a total of 35 miles. Which means, if you’re doing the math, that I logged 44 miles more than I gave myself credit for. My rule is that I have to walk the miles in consecutive days (if it’s a longer race) to earn the medal and unfortunately, the dog’s walking route is only 2 miles, so there’s a lot of days that don’t count because I can’t always take him for a walk on consecutive days no matter how much I want to.

Doesn’t matter because 80 miles is 80 miles more than I would have done without the HRC.

Crushed it.


2) Fandom - hmmm… well. That photo up there? Those are the Ravenclaws. From the Hogwarts Running Club. (Harry Potter fans until the very end.) I didn’t meet many of them in person - damn anxiety- but I recognise the faces from their FB profile pics. I also friended one of them on FB, which is huge for me. I don’t friend just anyone, but I completely love Alexander. He’s good people. Too bad he’s in Belgium because I would totally adopt him.

I’m still writing fan fiction. Still mostly Harry Potter because Drarry is my thing, but I branched out to Teen Wolf again and I’ll be starting a Yuri!!! on Ice one soon. (Holy shit, dude. WHY was it only 12 episodes?!?! I am obsessed with that damn anime. Do you hear me? OBSESSED.)  Plus, I’m hanging out more in a FB Harry Potter fan fiction group. No friends there, yet, but there’s potential.

I cosplayed several times as a Ravenclaw student… And, and, and I’m learning how to sew for more cosplay options. Not to mention, I have a whole crap ton of Harry Potter themed fabric that is making its way into my closet in one form or another.

Crushed it.

3) Language - this one was hard. I didn’t meet my goals, because reasons. BUT in the last two months, I’ve picked up my Ukrainian studies with a vengeance. I’m currently addicted to learning cursive which is a nice way to mix things up. I’ve gotten in this terrible habit of writing down vocab words in cursive and then looking them up later. Hoo-boy, is it a struggle some times to read what I wrote. Cyrillic cursive looks like a drunk 5 year old writing prescriptions, but my handwriting is getting better because I have to focus so hard on the letter forms.

I’m also fighting my way through the first chapter of Harry Potter for the third (fourth?) time. I’m remembering more words and am getting better at deciphering entire sentences without constantly looking up vocab. I will say this much - character names look very different in Cyrillic than they do in English.

I’m thinking about skipping forward to see how “I am Lord Voldemort / Tom Marvolo Riddle” works out. The French translation is different (Tom Elvis Jedusor) and there’s a lot of people out there who say it should have been “Mr. Tom, a dildo lover”. So, yeah. Curious as to how the Ukrainian translation handles it.

Late to the game, but I’m giving myself the win because lately, I’m kicking some serious ass.

Crushed it.

(HA HA HA!!!!! I spelt “drive” wrong - it’s прівіт-драйв, not прівіт-дdайв (because that is decidedly not a Ukrainian letter!)

Ravensnek


December 31, 2017 :: 10:33 AM

3 pottermore accounts :: ravenclaw, slytherin, slytherin :: wtf

New year, new me, blah, blah, blah…

I joined the Hogwarts Running Club recently after walking my first 5K in November. I never thought I’d be interested in doing 5Ks, but I want to do more. Even if I have to walk. I mean, there’s runs at Disney (some of them even Stars Wars themed!) and then there’s the Universal 10K… plus the Viktor E Dash. Yeah, I’m kind of hooked.

I’m excited to be part of an organisation that does #somuchgood - logging the miles as I fight zombies (Zombies, Run! Couch to 5K) and applying them in an app that turns miles into donations.I even love the fact that the Ravenclaw House is made up of people who embrace book canon over movie canon - blue and bronze forever, baby!

Also of note, I’m enjoying my new commute. I can leave the house at 8:15 and be to work at 9, even with a stop at day care. I used to have to leave the house at 7 and HOPE I’d be to work by 8:45/9. This means that I’m going to pick up Ukrainian and Spanish (again), since I have that extra house in the morning.

Then, there’s the small issue of my Harry Potter obsession coming back with a vengeance. We’re going to the Celebration of Harry Potter next month / next year / end of January and I can’t wait to cosplay, even if it is as a just a boring Ravenclaw student. I might be playing in the Teen Wolf fan fic sandbox, but my heart belongs to HP and Drarry.

So… my three words, as weird as they are, are 5K, language, and fandom. Each has a SMART goal attached which is new for me, so we’ll see how it goes.

5K is tied to health. I want to finish Zombies, Run 5K app, complete all the HRC virtual runs, and do actual IRL 5K runs. I also want to make 2018 miles in 2018, even though it’s 5.5 miles/day. I know I can get there by December.

Language is multi-faceted, and might be better off if it were change to connect, but fuck it. I want to continue with my Ukrainian and connect with my culture. I want to learn Spanish and connect with my coworkers (and the majority of South Floridians!). I want to focus on The Hunger Games series and read all of them this year in Ukrainian. One a quarter. That gives me 4 months to get through a book. I don’t know how possible that is, but I’ll give it a try. Maybe the first book takes 6 months and the other two will go faster… who knows. I’m going to count the chapters of the first book and see if I can work it out.

Fandom may be the weirdest one yet, but it’s definitely the glue that keeps this year together. Hear me out. Through fandom, I can make new friends, grow personally / professionally (YES! TOTALLY!), create, and it will help me with the other two words.

So there you go…

Bring it on, 2018. I’m going to kick your ass… if I survive the next round of Darth Cheeto’s insanity.

Forty two


March 20, 2017 :: 9:09 PM

OE at MSG - 03.04.17 :: easily the best concert i’ve ever been to. ever.

Today’s my Hitchhiker’s Birthday… it’s been kind of meh, to be honest.

Saturday was the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death and I decided to go to CT. I ran in almost knee-deep snow (in sneakers!) to her grave and spent 20 minutes spewing every negative thought I’ve had during the course of those 25 years. Yeah, it was fucked up, but it was SO freeing.

After that, I stood at the side of the road and read a blog entry to my grandparents. It was the blog entry I wrote about our trip to Lviv. My pronunciation sucked, but the thought was there.

Totally random - next to my usual parking spot, they were preparing for a burial. It was a woman I’d grown up with, a close friend of my grandparents. Wasn’t ready for that.

Another totally random thing - my uncle’s been dead for FIVE YEARS and the stone hasn’t been updated yet. FIVE FUCKING YEARS. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY AUNT DOING?!?!!?!?

Once I got my fill of hanging out with dead people, I went to my little brother’s house for a birthday lunch. It was a good time. We went for a walk and shared some deep things that we both needed to unload. I don’t want to go another six months before I see him again… I’m not sure I can go another six months without seeing him again.

Then, I went to a BMS show in Cambridge. So nice for there to be a show only an hour from home. Their drummer’s been problematic since he started and this show was particularly horrid.  It wasn’t helped by the fact that the old drummer was there. He was singing because one of the other members had laryngitis and it did not go over well when he pointed out that the drummer was too loud or too fast.

It was a nice break from the shitshow that my life is. I’m working through a lot of things right now and I’m not sure what’s being exacerbated by the bipolar and what’s just really fucked up. It’s harder to make decisions when everything is murky. Either way, I knew which decisions need to be made and I know what my decision is… I just don’t have the balls to pull the trigger and walk away from a situation I might be reading wrong.

So. Yeah.

Я не здамся без бою.—> The story of my life right now. *sigh*

The Facts of Life


December 04, 2016 :: 11:45 AM

i do love me some dylan o’brien

Oh boy… where do I start?

Trump won the election and based on his picks for White House staff, we’re looking at four years of Hell on Earth. (And that’s my sugarcoated opinion.)

In happier news, Ukraine was a sort-of success.

I didn’t use as much Ukrainian as I wanted to because some of the waitstaff in the restaurants and coffeehouses made me feel foolish. Although I could order off the menus, I asked for English versions so that the Hubby could read them as well. That said, I did manage to understand a lot. Too much.

And the coffee… OH MY DOG. Lviv’s reputation as having the world’s best coffee is definitely well earned. I can’t believe how much coffee I drank.

I definitely want to go back. It’s a beautiful city. One I could probably happily move to. IF the Hubby could get over the culture-shock.

That aside, it was a life changing vacation.

Part of the trip was a visit to my grandparents’ village and once we got there, our interpreter/tour guide jumped out of the van and started asking people on the street if they knew any of the names on the list.

They knew Maria and Stefania Winarska. They still lived there… despite the War and everything. In fact, they escaped being captured by hiding in the woods. I was totally expecting a house or a gravestone. Instead, I found my grandmother’s cousins.

 

Yeah. Living, breathing, shared DNA.

I still can’t get my head around it.

As our luck would have it, though, the Lufthansa pilots went on strike just in time for our trip home. Loved Lviv, but we were so ready to go home by that point that we were not happy that we were essentially stranded. It cost us over $4K for a one way ticket home. With a 9 hour layover in Madrid. (That sucked in so many different ways, I can’t even describe it. Never, ever, ever flying through Madrid again.) The only silver lining is that I got trip insurance and that should reimburse us for all our extra expenses.

Work is continually weird and stressful. I can’t go into too many details, but let’s just say that I’ve been dragged into a power struggle. There are things that aren’t right and I’m confirming suspicions. However, that puts me squarely on The Other Side… the side that’s going to get someone fired, or cause them to quit. I’m not comfortable with where I wound up, but I know it’s necessary. It’s stupid things like taking over the bank reconciliations because they haven’t been done properly (I KNOW!) and I’m the only one without access to the bank account. Of course, the person that involved me in this mess may quit if they don’t get their way. If I get passed over for their job AGAIN, I’ll follow them out the door.

There’s absolutely no winning in this situation…

And finally, I decided that I wanted to focus on learning Polish. I need a break from Ukrainian and it’s a similar enough language that I should be OK. I was going to take December off from everything, but I am chomping at the bit to start. So… I signed up for PolishPod101 and will start doing the homework in earnest today. I also signed up for two other classes - one about motivation (because I’ll need it to jump back into the Ukrainian in January) and one on using social media. The three were so cheap due to Black Friday that I couldn’t help myself. I also bought a German course for J. I suppose I’ll end up learning German myself at some point, but for now, I’m going to focus on PP101 and going back to old Ukrainian textbooks and focusing on acquiring new vocabulary.

Oh. I lied… I gave up on the artsy-fartsy BuJo and moved into a little, itty, bitty Field Notes notebook. It works ridiculously well for work and my personal life isn’t that packed chock-full of to-do items to justify the time making pretty spreads. I may do an excel spreadsheet for work (I found a beautiful template) in order to track the skills I’m learning at work (as part of the power struggle). I deserve another raise and I’m going to prove it…

Also, the Field Notes subscription plan? TOTALLY WORTH IT. I have more notebooks than I know what to do with. I have $70 worth of notebooks and I’m only halfway through my $97 subscription. Amazing!

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