Friends

#UntilTheVeryEnd… also, #FUCKWARNERBROTHERS


May 21, 2022 :: 12:49 PM

I watch too many horror movies and my husband is The Chicken is Boba Fett. There. That’s a thing you know now about my private life.

I’m done.

Just when I thought I couldn’t be any less motivated to run…

RTI just settled their lawsuit with Warner Brothers, which loosely translates to WB just killed a group that is filled with people who love their intellectual property so much that they band together under the name and use their combined energy to do #somuchgood.

Yeah.

The Potterhead Running Club is closing up shop.

And because the PHRC basically funds all the other RTI clubs, Whovian and Fandom are closing down as well. They hope to keep the FRC Fan Domain group active, but no more medals. No more Racery events. Some of the PHRC groups (like Book Club, Transfiguration, etc.) are spinning off and will continue to operate under different names with volunteers to keep them alive.

But it won’t be the same.

The Tower has always felt like home to me… but it’s lost its magic. Literally.

There’s no other way to put it.

I’m not OK with this.

Seriously.

I’ve been crying since the news broke.

I’ve needed the consistency and the friendship and the sense of family the clubs were filled with.

And now it’s going away.

And I don’t know what to do with myself.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

I joke all the time that I’m not all that great at the social part of social media.

But let’s call it what it is: I collect people and then I barely interact with them.  That’s why I have like 75 or 80 Facebook friends and most of my newsfeed is either (Ukrainian) bands or RTI groups. Anything more is overwhelming.

Shit, I haven’t spoken to my best friend, my little brother from another mother for two years now.

I’m just not good at it.

I keep coming back to the therapist that asked me why I don’t let people get close. Why I don’t let them help me through the Dark Days and The Ick.

I hate me during those times. I definitely don’t want to subject people I care about to that… which is why I am SO FUCKING HAPPY that my husband has been able to tolerate it.

We’ve been together since 1998 and got married in 2002. He’s a fucking saint.

A. FUCKING. SAINT.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

We’re doing a Stand with, or Support, Ukraine 5k locally tomorrow (whatever, I can’t remember the name). Proceeds are going to the Ukrainian Red Cross. I know they’re having problems selling the race, so who knows how much is actually going to Ukraine, but it’s still… something.

My tryzub sticker is on my car. We went shopping for shelving today and managed to fit it in the car. (I HAVE A TRUNK AGAIN! I might have started jumping up and down in the parking lot screaming my joy… have I mentioned my husband is a saint? Yup.) My Deathly Hallows is also on my car.

The only thing I’m missing are my race stickers. I can’t decide if I want to put them on now and add the marathon after, or do all four after and see if I can find a Dopey sticker.

I guess we’ll see…

 

#kissesforbill


May 04, 2019 :: 2:26 PM

sweaty selfie :: big cat 5k :: palm beach zoo

This might be my last 5K with my husband. We normally walk them together, but he seems less and less interested. Plus, I want to start running them and he’s not going to do that. (Yet?)

On to Quidditch…

The dementors started running on the 2nd, giving the House teams a head start. Despite not being a competitive group, I’ve been outdoing myself to get the miles. I want to prove to myself more than anything that I can survive Quidditch and push myself to the point where the house teams are fighting themselves to get me in the Fall Quidditch “draft”.

Seriously.

Thursday, it was pouring so I hopped on the treadmill and planned to do a couch to 5K work out. Did that. Wasn’t tired, so I kept walking. Then it became a game to see how many miles I could go or for how long before I totally crapped out.

(This is the FUCK IT factor at work, by the way)

I crushed a little over 6 miles - a 10K.

Yesterday, I did a little over 5 miles.

Today, I did 3.3 at the Big Cat 5K and then hopped on the treadmill for another 1.7 as soon as we got home. No lie. It was the dementor power hour - all miles are doubled - so how could I sit on the couch? (FUCK IT! I can keep going…)

Tonight, I’m planning on taking the dog for a walk. Hopefully, the next PH will fall when I’m ready to drop my next batch of miles.

And for what it’s worth, I’m in 10th place for total miles in our group of 60. TENTH.

I’ve never done sixteen miles consecutively unless I was at Universal. I’ve done those sixteen in three days - thirteen which count towards PHRC medals. I’ve already claimed my last two 5Ks. I have a bunch of half marathon medals to complete. If I keep this up, I’ll have completed all the Potterhead/Whovian medals I have before Quidditch ends.

I’ll work on distances and speed soon. Right now I want to focus more on stamina. Making sure my fat ass doesn’t keel over, that sort of thing. I’ve been dropping weight, which is helping, so I’ve got that in my favour. Less weight means less strain on my knees and they’ve always been the first to get screwed up, whether it’s volleyball, marching band, skiing… I so much as think of being active and my knees act up.

I’m going to finish Quidditch and then go back to my training plans. Losing three weeks in my training won’t make a big deal because right now I’m paced to peak in early November. If I can shift peaking closer to December, I’ll still be fine for the Disney Half.

I think I’ve completely lost my mind, and I’m not sure I want to find it….

Rah! Rah! Ravenclaw!!!!


December 04, 2018 :: 7:23 PM

hogwarts running club :: ravenclaws :: universal orlando fun run :: 01-dec-2018

So. A lot has happened since September, but succeeding at my three words is the one thing I’m most proud of.

My three words for this year were 5K, fandom, and language. It’s only the beginning of December, but I have crushed those.

1) 5K - let’s see… this year, I’ve done three IRL 5Ks. I’ve logged a ton of miles since joining the HRC (79.64 to be exact). That doesn’t count the hundreds of miles I’ve walked around Universal. (Yes. HUNDREDS.)

Between the Hogwarts Running Club and the Whovian Running Club, I’ve earned 7 medals. I’m impressed with myself - that’s a total of 35 miles. Which means, if you’re doing the math, that I logged 44 miles more than I gave myself credit for. My rule is that I have to walk the miles in consecutive days (if it’s a longer race) to earn the medal and unfortunately, the dog’s walking route is only 2 miles, so there’s a lot of days that don’t count because I can’t always take him for a walk on consecutive days no matter how much I want to.

Doesn’t matter because 80 miles is 80 miles more than I would have done without the HRC.

Crushed it.


2) Fandom - hmmm… well. That photo up there? Those are the Ravenclaws. From the Hogwarts Running Club. (Harry Potter fans until the very end.) I didn’t meet many of them in person - damn anxiety- but I recognise the faces from their FB profile pics. I also friended one of them on FB, which is huge for me. I don’t friend just anyone, but I completely love Alexander. He’s good people. Too bad he’s in Belgium because I would totally adopt him.

I’m still writing fan fiction. Still mostly Harry Potter because Drarry is my thing, but I branched out to Teen Wolf again and I’ll be starting a Yuri!!! on Ice one soon. (Holy shit, dude. WHY was it only 12 episodes?!?! I am obsessed with that damn anime. Do you hear me? OBSESSED.)  Plus, I’m hanging out more in a FB Harry Potter fan fiction group. No friends there, yet, but there’s potential.

I cosplayed several times as a Ravenclaw student… And, and, and I’m learning how to sew for more cosplay options. Not to mention, I have a whole crap ton of Harry Potter themed fabric that is making its way into my closet in one form or another.

Crushed it.

3) Language - this one was hard. I didn’t meet my goals, because reasons. BUT in the last two months, I’ve picked up my Ukrainian studies with a vengeance. I’m currently addicted to learning cursive which is a nice way to mix things up. I’ve gotten in this terrible habit of writing down vocab words in cursive and then looking them up later. Hoo-boy, is it a struggle some times to read what I wrote. Cyrillic cursive looks like a drunk 5 year old writing prescriptions, but my handwriting is getting better because I have to focus so hard on the letter forms.

I’m also fighting my way through the first chapter of Harry Potter for the third (fourth?) time. I’m remembering more words and am getting better at deciphering entire sentences without constantly looking up vocab. I will say this much - character names look very different in Cyrillic than they do in English.

I’m thinking about skipping forward to see how “I am Lord Voldemort / Tom Marvolo Riddle” works out. The French translation is different (Tom Elvis Jedusor) and there’s a lot of people out there who say it should have been “Mr. Tom, a dildo lover”. So, yeah. Curious as to how the Ukrainian translation handles it.

Late to the game, but I’m giving myself the win because lately, I’m kicking some serious ass.

Crushed it.

(HA HA HA!!!!! I spelt “drive” wrong - it’s прівіт-драйв, not прівіт-дdайв (because that is decidedly not a Ukrainian letter!)

Reflections on life in SoFlo


October 08, 2017 :: 3:19 PM

omg, i think i will always love drarry headcanons like this

SO…

I called my boss a dick at work once. Twice. Um… maybe three times? I meant it lovingly (kinda) and he tells the story to EVERYONE.

Including my husband’s boss. (Who was amused that I found my tribe because it means the hubby won’t be leaving him anytime soon.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about the decisions I made to take this job because I’m working with someone who is an entire generation younger and took this job specifically because it was the only company that would hire him. He is fresh out of college and moved from NJ to take a chance on this job. He still lived at home and is now living with a family friend.

I had to sell my house, move my husband and leave what few friends I’d been able to make/reconnect with. I left coworkers behind who needed to have someone to vent to and I left behind a huge piece of my past. I’ll never be able to go to York, ME when I need to be near my father. I’ll never be able to go to Connecticut to yell at my mother’s grave… it’s like when I moved to Ohio for a job in the same industry, but…

It’s much easier this time. I don’t have the same regrets. I’ll miss the things I left behind, LIKE WINTER, but I get to spend 41 nights in my happiest of happy places and I can’t ask for much more. And that’s not even taking into consideration the limitless trips we can take to my other happy place. Going to Universal Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights with our CFO was definitely an eye-opening experience. Being able to go back to see Hogwarts lit up for Christmas and being able to go to the Celebration of Harry Potter without having to worry about flights and extended periods of time off of work.

What’s not making things much easier this time, is finding a fucking house.

I think we lucked out when we built our last house. It had everything we wanted in a package we could afford. Home hunting in South Florida isn’t nearly as easy. It’s a choice between dirt roads and land or zero lot lines and little yards. Don’t even get me started on the fucking HOAs and gated communities that are everywhere.

So far, we’re on house #3. We actually placed an offer on a house that needed a lot of work. We were willing to go full price rather than get into a bidding war, because we thought our issues with the house were cosmetic. It was determined some things were structural, so we walked. The second house we were thinking about writing an offer on had an HOA that would only allow pets 10 lbs and under. THAT IS NOT A PET.

House 3 is also in an HOA which prides itself on being relaxed. (So, our biggest issues would be paint colours and being able to do exterior things like replacing windows or installing a fence.) We drove through the neighbourhood again today and realised that, comparatively, this house is definitely a steal at its current price because it needs a lot of work. We’re willing to do the work, but I want to go back and get a second look at what needs to be done ASAP and what we can do over time before we make an offer.

It feels weird to be setting down roots here. Not that I think I’m leaving my job anytime soon, but I remember how hopeless I felt when I lived in Ohio. How terrible I felt when I bought that first house. I didn’t want to put roots down there, but I didn’t feel I had a choice.

I have a choice here - and I’m happy to stay. Even if it means I’ll never get to drive through another Nor’Easter again and have to deal with hurricanes instead.

Forty two


March 20, 2017 :: 9:09 PM

OE at MSG - 03.04.17 :: easily the best concert i’ve ever been to. ever.

Today’s my Hitchhiker’s Birthday… it’s been kind of meh, to be honest.

Saturday was the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death and I decided to go to CT. I ran in almost knee-deep snow (in sneakers!) to her grave and spent 20 minutes spewing every negative thought I’ve had during the course of those 25 years. Yeah, it was fucked up, but it was SO freeing.

After that, I stood at the side of the road and read a blog entry to my grandparents. It was the blog entry I wrote about our trip to Lviv. My pronunciation sucked, but the thought was there.

Totally random - next to my usual parking spot, they were preparing for a burial. It was a woman I’d grown up with, a close friend of my grandparents. Wasn’t ready for that.

Another totally random thing - my uncle’s been dead for FIVE YEARS and the stone hasn’t been updated yet. FIVE FUCKING YEARS. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY AUNT DOING?!?!!?!?

Once I got my fill of hanging out with dead people, I went to my little brother’s house for a birthday lunch. It was a good time. We went for a walk and shared some deep things that we both needed to unload. I don’t want to go another six months before I see him again… I’m not sure I can go another six months without seeing him again.

Then, I went to a BMS show in Cambridge. So nice for there to be a show only an hour from home. Their drummer’s been problematic since he started and this show was particularly horrid.  It wasn’t helped by the fact that the old drummer was there. He was singing because one of the other members had laryngitis and it did not go over well when he pointed out that the drummer was too loud or too fast.

It was a nice break from the shitshow that my life is. I’m working through a lot of things right now and I’m not sure what’s being exacerbated by the bipolar and what’s just really fucked up. It’s harder to make decisions when everything is murky. Either way, I knew which decisions need to be made and I know what my decision is… I just don’t have the balls to pull the trigger and walk away from a situation I might be reading wrong.

So. Yeah.

Я не здамся без бою.—> The story of my life right now. *sigh*

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