and it goes a little something like this…

if i had a ukie textbook, it’d definitely win the ‘thrown book’ award,
but handouts don’t fly through the air quite as nicely

The University of Basketball does it again… whoo-hoo.

——

I’ve been working hard on the Drarry fanfic and thinking about how fucking hard it is to keep characters in character. I had the same problem with the other fandoms, too. I suppose I’ll get over this one as well.

It’s just that I have a very concrete idea of how utterly broken both men are. The things that Harry went through his entire life… I see a guy with PTSD who is terrified that the peace won’t last, that suffers from a bone crushing depression when he looks at his life in terms of the people he’s lost. I see Draco as wanting to be redeemed. He was afraid at the end, when he had to kill Dumbledore and he was unsure of the choices he’d made. He was weak. He was human. He’d transcended whatever it was that being a Malfoy meant. Whether or not JKR meant for him to be ‘read’ that way, I did. I always sympathized a little bit with Draco. (I don’t know why…I just did.)

So… anywhoo… it’s just that these are two very different paths for these characters to take and they don’t quite wind up that way in canon, do they?

*sigh*

——

Baczynsky’s - in the East Village - the Ukrainian meat market that kept my Easter baskets full of kielbasa and kobanos when I was growing up does fucking MAIL ORDER. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am by this news. I don’t go into to the City (EVER!!!) and since I lost my connection, this has been a kind of huge problem. The local Polish deli makes, well, POLISH kielbasa and kobanos and it doesn’t quite taste the same. I don’t need to worry any more and I. Am. Ecstatic.

——

Conjugating Ukrainian verbs sucks. How did I ever survive Latin and it’s six noun declensions (six each singular and plural)? Gah.

——

I have a serious hard on for this album. I mean a serious hard on. I cannot, I repeat CAN. NOT. stop listening to it. I’m catching words here and there and I try to sing along, but it’s been a struggle. A fun struggle, a very loud, very fun, struggle, but a struggle nonetheless.

I think there really needs to be some sort of program on personal music playing system thingies that keeps you from listening to the same album for weeks. This can’t be healthy, no matter how much I’m enjoying it.

 

*sigh*

he’s one damn fine human being…

In case you can’t read that:
Amberly: I need this retweeted by you to show my family that being gay isn’t always something you choose. They think I’m broken. Please. @Markgatiss

Mark Gatiss: Not a choice @Amberly29519238 - a gift. Be happy and strong. x

(For those not in the know, although I have no idea how you can not know this if you’re a regular reader, Mark Gatiss (pronounced GAY-tiss, BTW) is a co-creator and writer on my beloved Sherlock (BBC). He’s also written for Doctor Who. And… he’s married. To a dude.)

This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, and I totally adore him because of it.

It almost offsets the Moffat factor. But not by too much, since he still lets Moffat write episodes of Sherlock. *sigh*

——

In a more serious note, my divorcing friend pissed me off the other day.

I’d finally had enough and snapped at them via text.

Told them that they seriously needed to figure out how to rewire themselves. This default position of wanting to give up and/or threatening suicide (it’s really one and the same, isn’t it?), is old, is tired, and is not fair to those of us that love them.

I mean, seriously, I’m starting to feel that it’s a cry for attention. At any rate, it’s fucking obnoxious.

And I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but it felt good to call them out on it.

I mean, me, of all people, saying something like that… to someone I feel is shattered beyond repair.

I’m an arsehole… I know that.

I haven’t heard from them since, and I’m (frighteningly) OK with that.

There has been too much drama, and despite my promises to tolerate it, and not walk away, I just can’t deal with it.

They wonder why they’re getting divorced…

If they could only read the texts they sent me from my point of view - or even their spouse’s - they’d see just what sort of damage they’re capable of inflicting and why we’re not willing to put up with it.

I offered to let them live with us because I felt like I was backed into a corner - suicide or a homeless shelter - and neither one is acceptable.

I shouldn’t have made the offer. Once things calmed down, it hit me hard what an amazingly terrible idea that is.

I can’t handle them from a distance… living with them has the potential to absolutely destroy me.

So now, I’m back where I started from - wanting to run as far as them as I possibly can, and needing to stay and support them as long as they make the right decision, of course.

Can’t stand by and support a dead person, can I?

——

In happier news, my boss absolutely loves me. He said as much yesterday.

I got my business cards. If that’s not a sign of permanence, I don’t know what is.

I got an official invite from the Department of Athletics to go to their monthly finance meeting. The other staff accountant didn’t, and he’s the one who is supposed to be working for them full time. I’m supposed to be working for the other building we manage, which is not affiliated with the University in any way, shape, or form.

It makes me wonder - especially since everything’s been so confused and fucked up because of the mess we were thrown into on day one - what my role actually is is. What I’m being groomed for. I have my ideas, of course, and they thrill me beyond belief.

I tell everyone who asks how much I love this job, and it’s the truth. I could not be happier. The universe certainly made up for fucking me over the past year.

I love it to the point that when BU played my employer last night. I was tempted to cheer for both teams. (I love both sets of boys - the school I was supposed to go to and the one that funds my paychecks.) Hockey East is getting more complicated…UConn, my employer, BU. Our neighbours in 114 are going to end up hating me next season. *grin*

And on that note, it’s time to look for a hack to my never ending external drive issue and get the power button on my MBP fixed.

Woo!!!! I am living it up today! Jealous?

Five days and counting…

twelve arrives and a sherlock mini-episode… i may just explode

I put up lights in my office.

Put up the tree.

Listened to “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”

Sang along to the New Kids on the Block Christmas album.

What the everloving fuck is wrong with me?

——

I can’t write Cabin Pressure fan fic for the life of me right now… I just can’t ‘hear’ the characters in my head anymore. I’ve got to go back and listen to the episodes again. Including “Molokai” (the Christmas episode! WOOO!).

Sing it with me now:

Get dressed, you merry gentlemen! Let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Day! It’s Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Day! It is Chri-i-i-i-istmas Day, Chri-istmas Day! It is Chri-i-i-i-ismas Day!

——

So.

My contact at the Polish Consulate is apparently a big fat liar. Or clueless. I don’t know which one is worse.

I received my package back today with a letter that says they do not do public records searches for genealogy purposes. I’m trying to apply for citizenship, via my grandfather, but I need his birth certificate first. The woman I spoke with knew that, told me what to do, where to send the information to, blah blah blah, so I did.

And now I need to start all over again.

——

Other random bits: I found my Delta Sigma Pi ritual book from 2002-2003.

I remember using it with my kids at Bowling Green and Michigan. Xi struggled to be a good chapter, but Theta Pi was amazing that year, down to the ritual. I was so proud of those kids, my heart still swells with joy when I remember watching the pledges become Brothers. Theta Pi’s also the reason I won District Director of the year in the region and the district.

I remember how disgusted I was that my Brothers totally disregarded the ritual when they voted someone back into National Office who had supposedly done some questionable things with some underaged girls. Is it true? I don’t know. All I know is that the Brother was suspended and removed from his leadership position. There were also rumours of him stealing from his chapters. Again, is it true? Fucked if I know, but the allegations were strong enough for him to be removed.

I can’t (of course) quote the ritual directly, but the vow we take basically says, “I won’t do anything that will fuck over the fraternity.”

He violated that vow, and I’m still a little bitter over it.

I took that shit seriously back then, and I still do now.

I am, and I will always be, Delta Sigma Pi, Theta Iota, Seven-One-Four.

Fan fic love

I needed another pick me up:

Stats as of 11/10/2013:
PARIS: 10 subscribers, 504 hits, 23 kudos, 2 comment threads, 3 bookmarks

HARTFORD: 10 subscribers, 433 hits, 23 kudos, 8 comment threads, 3 bookmarks

IT WAS ALWAYS THERE: 1 subscriber, 1018 hits, 11 kudos, 0 comment threads, 3 bookmarks

Stats as of today:
PARIS: 12 subscribers, 773 hits, 32 kudos, 5 comment threads, 1 bookmarks

HARTFORD: 10 subscribers, 476 hits, 28 kudos, 8 comment threads, 3 bookmarks

IT WAS ALWAYS THERE: 2 subscriber, 1056 hits, 11 kudos, 0 comment threads, 3 bookmarks

I’m a little surprised that PARIS lost bookmarks, but I now have 3 author subscriptions which is pretty cool…

I also received a comment today that they want ANOTHER sequel (which they will get). After that, it’s a 30 Day OTP Challenge and who knows after that… I don’t see myself NOT writing more Cabin Pressure fic, but right now, I can’t see myself writing more after the Challenge, either. I’m so deep in Johnlock that editing ZURICH! feels weird. I guess we’ll have to see.

——

Tonight is UConn vs BU at BU, which will definitely be weird. Next season, UConn joins Hockey East so this will be a regular occurrence, which will be even weirder. I never thought I’d see the day when the UConn hockey program would play in such an elite league…

My friend, and fellow UCMB band geek, Bill is coming with me, so that will be cool. We’ll both be in full UConn regalia and I can’t wait to see the looks on our friends down there in Section 114, Rows A and B. We’ve known these people for YEARS and I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned being a UConn grad. They’ll know now. *grin*

So much to say, so unable to say it

the. eye. crinkles.

I’m back to thinking about focusing on the CMA exam.

I’m back to thinking about grad school. (Masters of Accounting at UCONN this time. It’s online, which I need, and I think an accounting focus might be better, but I’m not sure. A ‘global’ MBA or something might be better. Especially if I’m hell bent on getting out of the US eventually.)

I guess it’s a good thing that these aren’t new ideas…

I’ve tried both (unsuccessfully), and now I know what I’m in for.

My job is different.

I’m different.

I’m going to give it some time before I rush into picking up where I left off, but - like before - it feels like the right choice.

I just don’t know if it’s something feasible.

——

There’s a lot on my mind today, but I don’t have the words.

I wish I did.

There’s some stuff I want to talk about.

Not necessarily here, but I can’t even get it into my paper journal.

For someone who’s been writing up a storm, this is annoying as fuck.

*sigh*