When it’s smoking it’s cooking. When it’s burnt it’s done.

December 09, 2023 :: 9:40 AM

#selfcaresaturday looks a lot like death by food poisoning

I may have inherited a lot from my mother’s side of the family… except a woman’s innate ability to cook.


My failures in the kitchen are all my father’s DNA.

Let’s put it this way, my favourite breakfast growing up was Super Duper Eggs.

How does one make Super Duper Eggs, you might ask.

Two eggs, half and half, salt, and a LOT of whisking. You want the eggs beaten within an inch of their life. Really fluffy and ready to be put to death in a frying pan drowning in butter. Preferably a cast iron skillet, but I don’t have one of those. (I can barely season food and you want me to season a fucking pan?)

Dump the eggs in and let them set like you’re making an omelette.

Walk away to make toast / coffee / whatever. As long as you forget about the eggs, you’re golden.

Remember the eggs. Try to flip the omelette.

When it falls to pieces, flip every bit over and behold the amazing, burnt, mess.

Let the other side burn.

Dump in a bowl and cover with ketchup.

Feed it to your daughter like it’s gourmet food and not eggs you fucked up.

I decided to do him one better and trust the auto setting on the microwave for the bacon.

Yeah. I probably should have checked on it at least once, but I, uh, forgot about it.

Burned eggs, burned bacon… at least the coffee was good.


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Chrome continues to be the bane of my existence.

First it broke the public view of my blog.

Then it broke the back end.

Apparently, you need to use https:// in the file path to the CSS file. And it can’t be a relative path. It has to be https:// myblog dot com/I hate the internet/style.css

The back end is still broken. For whatever reason, it is absolutely fucked in Firefox right now. Chrome and Firefox on a PC are equally fucked. It’s working on Chrome on the Mac at the moment, but I can’t upload files. Nothing I like more than messing with an FTP app while eating Super Duper Eggs and, um, extra crispy bacon.

I did get the file upload to work. Finally.

But, whatever Chrome is doing lately is also fucking up the work shit. Because, of course, everything is fucking web based now.

We can’t download files without Office 365 continually opening in safe mode.

We can’t access files that are stored on our local server via Dynamics365 - the link to the file needs to be the one to OneDrive in order to open them within the app. (DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FILES WE CANNOT ACCESS?!?!?!)

IT’s answer is to use Firefox.

Um, OK. Not a fix that anyone even wants to try, so yeah. Good luck with THAT.

Any way, I refuse to spend the day troubleshooting the back end of the blog, so I decided to upgrade Expression Engine.

(While I may adore the person who named it - yes, I know her - I hate WordPress with an intensity I reserve for spiders.)

FYI, Expression Engine is on version seven. SEVEN.

I am running v2.6.1, build date 20130506. Yes. 2013. The software is a decade old and has finally shit the bed. I’m pleased and amazed at the longevity of what Rick built. He should be proud of himself. (I’ve been using Ellis Lab products to run my blog forever; we’re talking pMachine and being invited (!!!!) to beta test Expression Engine. Ellis Labs doesn’t exist any more, sadly, but again, this will always be Rick’s software. (I say that like we were besties…))

This is not going to be fun and it is definitely not a project I’m in the mood to take on today.



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Speaking of things I’m not in the mood to deal with today, EA just released a new Sims pack.

The Sims 4 For Rent. (If that’s not the stupidest name, I don’t know what is.)

Guess what?

It changes the entire back end of the game again.

It broke build mode and it broke normal game play.

It was to be expected - the pack now allows you to build multiple lots on one. You can build rental units now - and manage them as a landlord or live in them as a tenant.

That’s a major change.

Just like when Growing Together was introduced.

The majority of my important mods are completely borked. I’ve already spent several hours trying to update them and I’m half way done.

Two of the mods I love are broken and no ETA on when they’ll be fixed. One has been broken for a while - the modder has health issues and can’t continue coding right now. The other mod’s main programmer died a few weeks ago. Cancer. He was young. Too young. They’re working on finding a replacement, but how do you replace the reason that mod even exists? They have a death mod where you can have a funeral instead of just the grim reaper… obviously that’s not going to be updated for a long time. I was thinking about trying it before the news and now I don’t know if I can.

I’m bummed I have to put my legacy on ice again while I wait for all the bugs to be fixed. I was thrilled that I got to pick up with Nathan and Bryce and their kids / grandkids. So weird to think that if my legacy founder were alive, she’d be hanging out with her great great granddaughter!

I play alphabet legacies and we’re on generation E.

Bryce and Nathan had kids via the same surrogate, so the kids are half siblings.

Cora married a vampire and had a vampire baby. I moved her out and let story progression do its thing. SP is absolutely crazy bananas. She had moved out to live with Caleb and when I went back into the household, she was no longer a vampire, no longer married to Caleb, and had a shitty relationship with her daughter. And she was shacking up with a townie. What the fuck?!?

Chase was a bit of a manwhore and had three kids with three different women.

I unalived one of them testing out the Sims’ version of the Bloody Mary urban legend. Whoops.

Then, because that wasn’t enough drama, there was the woman he married, divorced, and remarried. Then he cheated on her with baby momma number three. What can I say? I love chaos.

Dayna became Dylan and moved out, Daniel and his girlfriend just had baby Emily (teen parents because why not?), and Derek’s just aged up to a teen.

All this because Johnny Zest brought fruitcake to Aubrey.

Thank FUCK you can only have eight Sims on a lot.


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In other news, I still can’t make the words go easily, but they’re coming.

After I crashed and burned in November, December is going to be the month I hit 50K words.

I give up.