bellevue, oh :: may 24, 2010
I try to not wish my life away (i.e., I wish it were Friday), but DAMN! I can’t wait to get this hellacious week done and over with.
It’s been about a month since my last Black Mountain Symphony show and I could REALLY use the therapy that being in a club, listening to my friends perform, provides me. To say I’ve been stressed to the gills is putting it mildly. To say that it’s affecting my health is an understatement.
I’m so careful with my moods and my triggers… and this whole shitstorm at work is pushing my control over the bipolar to its very limits. My little heart problem is acting up, too… so it’s definitely time to do something to calm myself down.
Which means, if you didn’t catch on already, ROAD TRIP!!!!!!
Dude, I wish it were Friday.
(And also—- I can’t wait for it to be my birthday. Three, THREE, Ryan Montbleau Band shows scheduled in Cambridge around my birthday, plus a possible NJ road trip to see them around that same time. *squee*)
THIS IS UCONN COUNTRY! GO HUSKIES!
As I write this, I am excited, again, over a football game. I suppose I have good reason to be. Tonight is UConn’s first ever BCS appearance.
My dad once said that I would one day love UConn and the opportunities it afforded to me. That one day I’d be proud to be a Husky.
I didn’t believe him.
While my four years with the UConn Marching Band transformed me and brought the most amazing people into my life, and the Men’s Ice Hockey team proved that I could fulfill my dream of working in hockey, I never thought much about it. The more UConn gains national notice (first the basketball program, now football), the more pride I do feel. Sure, it’s not my beloved BU, but the universe decided I was meant to be a Husky and not a Terrier. I wonder all the time about how my life could have been different if I wore scarlet and white instead of national flag blue (not navy!!!!) and white, but at the end of the day, I’m a UConn grad.
Last night’s festivities were much more low-key than I expected them to be, but just proved to me that going to UConn was one of the best things I ever did. Hanging out with a few Sisters and Batman… making Steve’s day by giving him a copy of a hard to find OPIV cd… ringing in the new year by waiting for robo-Clark to appear on TV… These are the things that matter. These are the things that are important to me. These are the things that wouldn’t happen if I had gone anywhere else. Yeah, I’d have different friends and different experiences, but I guess the universe knows what it’s doing. We wind up where we’re supposed to - every day has value and meaning, and we’d be fools to ignore that. Sure, some of it sucked hardcore this year (J’s mom dying for one), but other days brought unimaginable joy.
On the drive back to New Hampshire, I thought a bit about 2011 and what it means to me. Where I want to be. What I want to do.
I couldn’t really think of anything.
I think that’s the best sign that my life is exactly where it’s supposed to be and how it’s supposed to be.