Scars are souveniers you never lose. The past is never far.

November 27, 2010 :: 9:07 AM

I was doing so well at staying stable this weekend, despite the fact that I’m not going to finish my NaNo novel on time. I was distracting myself with shiny new software and video games, getting rid of used books, emptying out my digital camera cards, and making CDs for friends.

Then, I got a message on Facebook that rocked my world.

I don’t know why I let it get to me, except that it was unexpected and the conversation went in a completely different direction than I would have thought.

This person was part of a group I used to hang out with all the time, then some bad things happened and I ended up distancing myself from them. I really enjoyed this person’s company, and I did consider them a friend, but we were never that close. I always felt like there was a wall and I was always careful when I talked to them. When they did let me in, I used to joke that we ‘broke’ them. (One shopping excursion during a road trip with them comes to mind.)

On Labor Day, they reached out to me and asked me if I was going to NH with them like I did last year. I said no - I was going to Michigan to watch them embarrass the UConn football team.

A few days ago I got a really random message - “Hey, I’m moving to Boston. Did you ever listen to the Hindu Love Gods?” (Yes. That was exactly what it said.)

The Hindu Love Gods question threw me off. Of course I knew who they were. 3/4 on the band was R.E.M. Stipe was not one of those 3, so I never really got into them. They released one album, a bunch of covers, and went their separate ways. Back in the 80s/90s. TWO DECADES ago. Talk about completely random!

We went back and forth, the end result being that their relationship ended and they needed to get a fresh start. A new city, a new state. My response was, “I understand. It’s the same reason I could never move back to Manchester.”

Top that with going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (pt 1). I think I can say this without ruining the plot… Harry visits his parents’ grave and Hermione creates some flowers for him/them. Then, another character dies.

Cue the waterworks.

I cried the entire drive home.

It’s the end result of all the stress I’d been under at work, missing my father, thinking about J’s loss of his mother, wishing my relationship with my mother had been different… but also the fact that this friend reached out to me.

They’ll never know how much that meant to me…


Attack is good. Point left.

November 19, 2010 :: 7:32 PM

I wish I could go into detail, but strange things were afoot at the Circle K for the past week. Unfortunately, I was one of the first to know and I had to wait until the rest could be enlightened.

It was wicked awkward and Wednesday was the day the shit hit the fan. Officially.

I’ve been in a fog since Wednesday AM. It’s been wicked fucked up. Wicked. Wicked. Wicked. Wicked. Fucked. Up.

Gah.

I had fencing last night and it was the best way possible to reduce the stress I’ve been under. I’m in the adult training group, which means on Thursdays I get to poke at people with my sharp pointy stick and hope I don’t get poked by other people’s sharp pointy sticks. I did a kick ass job last night. I fenced like I actually knew what I was doing. I even did a perfect ballestra!!! (Which if you know me, and seen my previous attempts at ballestras, is pretty amazing.)

I know I’ll get through this -and I’m thankful that I have the people around me who can help me get through this - but in the meantime, I’m glad I have my sharp pointy stick and people who don’t mind being my pincushion.

En garde, bitches!


The Sporky Pit of Death is calling your name.

November 10, 2010 :: 12:11 AM

I love my main group of characters. LOVE them.

So much that I’ve now written their story 4 different ways… all 4 of them during NaNoWriMos (2003, 2008, 2009, 2010).

This year, though, they are surprising the fuck out of me.

I’m not quite sure what’s going on. These are not the characters I’ve been hanging out with since 2003 and I’m finding it a little concerning. In addition,  I am already planning a sporktacular death for someone if he doesn’t man up and do what he’s supposed to do.

So yeah. 

I am ahead of my word count, though, so I guess we’re OK.

 


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