America’s pasttime & Instrument - how can you go wrong?


August 10, 2009 :: 2:01 PM

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instrument :: bleachers, bristol, ct :: july 19, 2009

Hey guys!

Instrument is playing a set before the Connecticut Defenders* / Erie SeaWolves game this weekend at Dodd Stadium.  They will also be throwing out the first pitch!

Game is Saturday at 6:35, but the band is recommending you get there around 5 if you want to see them play.

Tickets are $8 and you can get them through the band. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

*The CT Defenders are the old Norwich Navigators and play at Dodd Stadium.

If you’re in the area, come out! I’d love to see you there.

hoo-boy


August 09, 2009 :: 1:44 PM

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braids, boobs, big mistake :: da ‘brook :: august 8, 2009

I hate posting pictures of myself online - especially the crappy self-portraits I’ve been taking of late, but this *so* captures yesterday.

I went to (surprise!) Connecticut to see Instrument play the Hungry Tiger. 

There was a quick dinner at Shady Glen with some friends from college (including a now-Belgian!) and then we headed to Mischief Central.  I decided to wear an old t-shirt, just because I could (and it matched the Thuja socks better than any other clean blue t-shirts living in my closet).  BiG MiSTAKE was to yesterday what Instrument is to today, and there was a hidden agenda to the decision. It was the right decision. It did not go unnoticed and the conversation was very welcome and generated a double entendre shout out from the stage. It’s the little things. *snicker*

I think my most, most favorite part of the night was talking to the lead singer of Black Mountain Symphony. He recognized me from Albany - “Hey, New Hampshire!” - and blew my mind. This is how most new people I’m meeting through Instrument are introduced to me: “She drove all the way from NEW HAMPSHIRE to see us play!” Derek is really good at talking me up when I travel to far-flung locales by myself to see the band. It cracks me up because not a single one of them know my name, only that I’m Instrument’s slave. (I mean “willing volunteer.”)

My second favorite part of last night was seeing my ex-boyfriend from high school. The conversation behind my back went something like this: “Has she seen you yet?” “No.” “We’ll know when she does.” Yeah, I squealed pretty loudly and did so several times. It was so nice to see him again! We ended our relationship on a pretty good note and he is still a valued friend, even if we’re not as close as we used to be. After I moved to Ohio, I got a letter from him telling me that my loss of my mother inspired him to meet his father. He’s really close to that side of his family now and it means a lot to me that he not only reached out to them, but let me know that it was because of me. *So* glad I got to thank him for that letter in person! I was amazed at how comfortable it was to hang out with him again. I missed him and there were many renewed promises of catching some Bruins or Baby B’s/Wolfpack games (Matty Gilroy will most likely wind up in Hartford since they’re the Rangers’ affiliate). We’ll definitely have to introduce the spouses next time.

My third favorite part would have to be the conversation held in a dark corner of the bar. It’s kind of hard to make the recap PG-13, but let’s just say that advice can come from the oddest places and I forgot how “sheltered” some of my friends can be (and conversely, how insane others are. Pot, kettle. Got it. Movin’ on).

I think that Instrument found their perfect opening act. Black Mountain Symphony really compliments their music. They jammed together at the end and that, alone, was worth the price of admission. It’s a shame the guys are from Albany! It’s a little bit of a trek for them…

OK. I’m off to go enjoy my Sunday. Play nice, kids!

Pony has his priorities!


August 08, 2009 :: 12:40 PM

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pony loves boobies :: warped tour, hartford, ct :: july 12, 2009

I’m so excited for tonight, it’s not even funny.

There’s something about this group of friends - when you get us together, a bunch of very bad, very immature, very, very, very fun things happen.

I try to be a little grown-up and mature here, and I try not to say things that might come out to bite me in the ass, but… I’m finding it hard to stay on the right side of that self-imposed boundary right now.

BOOBIES!

Ok. I feel a little bit better.

The braids, the corseted girls, the non-corseted girls, ex-boyfriends, new boy toys, secret lovers, boobs, pony and dear friends are all coming out to play tonight. I’m quite sure it’s going to be a deadly combination.

Manchester, CT may not survive tonight.

w00t!

*enter witty title*


July 31, 2009 :: 11:22 PM

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instrument :: bleachers, bristol, ct :: july 19, 2009

I think the constant traveling is starting to get to me.

That’s NOT meant to be a complaint - I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t really want to go, but I’m an introvert. Going out all the time drains my energy like mad. I knew I hit my threshold on Sunday.  We had gone to Hartford to see All Crazy and got home earlier than usual despite the show being delayed. Jamie and I didn’t move all day Sunday. I’ve only slept like that once, when the insomnia was crazy bad in junior high and I got like 4 hours sleep over an entire week. My body revolted both times and won the battle. And now I’m gearing up for 4 weekends of travel in a row: CT, CT, Boston (YEAH!!!!), and Keene, NH. I have a feeling that between Keene and the trip to Cincy/Toledo at the end of September, I’m not leaving the house AT ALL. (Except for work, of course.)

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I wouldn’t change a thing.

I love supporting my friends and I love the music. I just don’t love the hours I spend in the car with only the voices in my head to keep me company. I think that’s more draining than all the activity, sometimes. It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to wonder if living in NH is such a good idea anymore. I don’t want to move, but I miss being close to my friends/family. It’s not a decision I can make anytime soon, but it’s definitely there in the back of my mind.

Anyhoo…

The All Crazy show was, well, all crazy. Their bassist actually showed up and they played an electric set. Wild Bill actually looked like he was having fun! Soup, of course, was attentive as usual and thrilled that J came out to play. Skinny stopped by a few times and New Hampshire got a shout out or several. I got “high-five dyke’d” by a girl at the show. The back story isn’t as amusing as the comment, I think, but my friends like telling it…  Viz and I were at our first All Crazy show (at Tommy Doyle’s in Cambridge - right near Harvard), and the bar was full of insane college kids. A girl tried to pull me out of the booth to dance with her, but I wasn’t in the mood. My memory is fuzzy, but I think when I refused, that’s when she tried to high-five me. And uttered the phrase that seems to have become a permanent part of a certain group of friends’ vocabulary. This time, there was a little blonde girl who loved my braids and high-fived me when she found out I did them myself.

A major fight broke out at the show, too. Oddly enough, it was between two friends of the band who didn’t know each other. One sucker punched the other and before we realized what happened, all these girls and three security guards were trying to pull the two guys apart. The band stopped the show and went outside to sort things out and make sure every one was OK. (Which had the dual effect of making me cranky (the fight stopped the show and ruined “Fast Lane”) and made me happy (the band actually cares about their fans).)

I’m hoping there isn’t that amount of excitement at Instrument’s show this weekend.

Of course, there will be fun and immaturity. It’s just a core part of this group of friends. There’s major excitement because we get to initiate yet another member into the Cult of Pony. Sometimes, I’m amazed at how we behave… but it wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t act that way. I’m beyond thankful that I connected with this group of friends and that we can act like idiots. That, too, makes all the travel worthwhile.

Instrument plays The Hungry Tiger in Manchester, CT this Saturday night, 10 PM, with special guest Black Mountain Symphony. You know you want to come out and play, CT peeps!

 

Weightless


July 29, 2009 :: 9:43 PM

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ukrainian dancers :: soyuzivka, kerhonkson, ny :: july 18, 2009

When I was younger, around my late teens, my father used to ask me why I was so bitter all the time. He wanted to know where the chip on my shoulder came from.

I could only tell him my truth: that I didn’t have a chip on my shoulder. That I wasn’t bitter.

Hoo-boy, was I a liar. Talk about your whoppers!

After the Warped Tour, I had decided to free myself from people who I decided were running/ruining my life. I had three very specific people in mind.

I’ve let go of two of them. (I think we all know who # 3 is…)

I’m no longer waiting for the time bomb to appear in my mailbox. I made my peace with that decision (again). As it gets later in the year, the likelihood that the bomb will even show up is becoming less. I’m not as bothered by that as I thought I’d be. Mistakes were made, distance was created and I was a fool to think things would ever be any different. I can’t continue to let those words beat me. I know the truth. He had nothing to do with it and her assertion is… well, it’s just asinine. She was never there. She doesn’t know what happened and pointing fingers at him only proves just how clueless she is. I’ve hated her for a long time - really hated her - and I didn’t realize that. I’d buried it pretty deep because just thinking of those five little words caused me more pain than any person should bear. I’ve brought it up before, with friends, but I didn’t know the extent of the pure hatred I felt for this woman. I woke up a day or two after making my declaration (Illegitimi non carborundum), and *poof*. It was over. I knew I was free.

Such a weird feeling.

I had no idea I was in for something even more intense…

Person number 2 was my mother.

I’ve hinted at our screwed up relationship, I think I’ve even come right out and said I hated her as well… Nothing about the woman I remember has ever brought me joy. In fact, everything that I remember about her only brings pain, confusion and anger to the party. I do not have a single good memory of her. There are pictures of me, with her, where we’re both smiling, so I don’t doubt that our relationship was healthy at some point. I just can’t remember those days.

One of the things that happens when you become an orphan (at least in my case), is an undeniable need to find out who you are. I became obsessed with learning about my Ukrainian heritage, but it was too soon. Recently, as has also been documented here, I’ve begun to take baby steps to rectify that. I had no idea just how important that was to my well-being.

Since I got back from Soyuzivka, my entire world feels like it’s become the Bizzaro world. I’ve been “blissed out” as I’ve been putting it. I haven’t felt like this since I began taking my bipolar cocktail and the voices in my head decided to STFU. I can’t describe the feeling of peace that has come over me. I feel like I’ve been reborn and I am more than amused by the fact that some of my friends don’t know what to do with me or who I am lately.

When I decided to go to Ukie Fest, I had a certain set of expectations. It exceeded those expectations in ways I hadn’t even considered -  both good and bad. Going there forced me to come face-to-face with what my mother had taken away from me. It also made me realize just what she had given me. Her stubbornness. Her temper. Her passion. That damn chip on my shoulder. The revelation didn’t really come to me until today… but I noticed that something was “off” after my buzz lasted for more than a few days. Getting over person # 1 wasn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, so I knew it had to be bigger than that. What could possibly be bigger?

Yup.

I can’t quite put my finger on WHY I know I’m finally free of her, but I know I am. Maybe a portion of it is due to passing the milestone I’ve spent seventeen years dreading. I think more of it has to do with the fact that for the first time in almost *cough* 25 years *cough*, I felt pity for her.  I felt empathy for her. For a moment, no matter how brief it was, nor how quickly it passed, I actually saw her as a PERSON. Not the drunk monster I grew up with. It only took me 2/3 of my life to get here, but I’m cool with that. Especially when I figured that day would never come.

I’ve never been one to forgive and forget. I don’t forget. I can’t - especially when the scars are still visible. I’ve never been much for forgiving, either. If you managed to hurt me that badly, I don’t really think you deserve my forgiveness. I can’t call the resolution of either one of these situations a “forgive and forget” type of thing, but I’ve definitely come to terms with them.

Finally.

My way.

Damn, it feels good.

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