Things are not always as they seem.

jamie and gracie :: cape neddick, me :: may 15, 2008

OK.  Let me make something crystal clear:  NOT. OUR.  KID. 

Like the title says, things are not always as they seem.

The new rage of posting all these lists on Facebook and tagging people has been all over teh interwebs for a long time - it used to be called a “meme”.  I don’t know what this Facebook thing is called or even if it has a name, but I’m a little tired of it.  I’ve never been one for tagging people to do memes.  I just think it’s a bit obnoxious… and now that this stuff is on Facebook, your lack of participation is more obvious than it was on your blog.  It makes me cranky.  Really. It’s kind of like, “HI!  Welcome to the Internet, circa 2000.”  *sigh*  The new kids always ruin everything. 

My “about me” on this blog is really lacking.  I know.  I’m working on one.  I’m having a lot of trouble getting the “new” design to play nice, so I keep stalling.  I will get it done.  By the end of the month.  If it kills me. 

But anyhoo, like that new “about me” says, “If you know me from just my blog, you know me.”

That’s not entirely true, of course.  What you see here is a diluted, sometimes censored, version of me.  You get a filtered version of whatever is in my head when I sit down and fire up EE.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  But you don’t get the really ugly, the really hurtful, the really angry and the really destructive side of me.  That I save for elsewhere.  I write incessantly in a Moleskine. I blog at a different domain, under a different name.  Could you find me? Probably.  Do you want to find me? Not unless you want to be truly disturbed by what I have to say.  I very rarely censor myself there.  That is, as close as possible, to the real me.  This? This is me, too.  But it’s not the REAL me. 

If you know me from just my blog, you can create a image of who you want me to be. 

If you know me from limited access in meatspace, you can also create an image of who you want me to be.

If you know me from the extended disco remix of meatspace, you probably have an even better image of who you want me to be.

But you don’t get it. You get the person you think I am.  The person you want me to be.  And as a result, you don’t get me.

I’m not quite sure what to tell you… I’m not sure I’m the person you think I am.  I’m not certain I can be the person you want me to be.

I’m just me.  Deeply flawed and very broken, but me.

Accept it or don’t.  I don’t care anymore.

Valentine’s Day present!

two of my favorite people ::  the warehouse, hartford, ct :: february 7, 2009

A while back, Christine (BPC) had a picture in her flickr photostream of her wearing CLEAR PLASTIC Chuck Taylors with hand knit socks.  I think that every single Chuck loving knitter in the world went wild when we saw that photo.  I know I had a hell of a time finding a pair!  I ended up deciding that someday - if it was meant to be - I’d find them and they wouldn’t be backordered until 2199. 

Jamie and I went to the Northshore Mall in Peebiddy (that’s the correct pronunciation) for dinner because Chick-fil-a heals all and I had a crappy week. Which, so far, culminated in a spectacular meltdown t work and another one once I got into my car and finally started driving home.  Oh yeah, it took me FOREVER to get home tonight because I had to get the results of my MRI.  It’s nothing major, just that my kneecap shifted.  On both knees.  Apparently this is normal in women and explains why I get those shooting pains.  He said the answer is an anti-inflammatory med, a brace and physical therapy. woo-freaking-hoo.  I was cleared to go skiing on Saturday - even though it would be preferred if I rested.  I’m still waiting to hear from someone if we’re on for this Sunday or next week… I have some serious house cleaning to do before we have a guest over, so I probably won’t go even if it does get pushed to next week.  I have taxes to do and stuff like that anyway.  *sigh* The joy of being a grown up.

So anyway, we went to the mall for dinner. After we ate, we went our separate ways since we like different stores. I stopped to get Jamie a present for the world’s cheesiest holiday.  Normally I’m opposed to buying stuff but it is a gift that will keep on giving, and giving, and giving…so it’s an exception. (No, I’m not saying what it is.  He might read this!)  As we were leaving the mall, his hands empty (I’m guessing because there would be more lame roses in my future… Sorry ladies, I think roses on VD are so cliched that they just lose all meaning.), we pass by the Journeys store and there, in the window, on display for the world to see: CLEAR PLASTIC CHUCKS!  Well, I took the $60 that probably would have gone to a florist for f’ing roses, and spent them on my new Chucks. 

Now, I finally have the motivation I need to blast through the dreaded second sock!  I’m really hoping to have the socks done for my birthday so I can wear them to Manchester for the next Instrument show. 

So… if I’m not around much, listen for the sound of the knitting needles clicking together.

 

Addendum

I’ve said it before, but I keep coming back to the fact that I love being able hang out with people I never got a chance to when we were at UConn together.  So many stupid reasons why.  So many bad decisions made.  All of those don’t matter now.  It’s not quite that we’re clinging to something, but being in the UCMB definitely makes for strong connections.  That shared history is awesome at pulling people together no matter what happened back then. It’s not just about reliving old times, either.  To be honest, I don’t think we talked much about college.  UConn didn’t really come into the night until the licking started.  Old habits die hard, I guess. 

Yeah, the licking… I can’t remember how that started, but it’s become something of a weird tradition.  You know you’ve been truly accepted by our little group when your face gets licked.  You have to be special. 

Every day is pick on Vizma day, as well.  This also makes outings a lot of fun. 

I don’t know how many times you can reference “Family Guy”, “Robot Chicken” or say “These are not the ... you are looking for” before it becomes old, but we didn’t hit that limit this weekend.

Pillow fights have also become an important part of any sleepover as is molesting PONY!

I love these guys, I love this life, I love having a husband who trusts me and doesn’t seem to mind when I don’t come home for days…

My life is EXACTLY where it should be, for a change.  Nice to know all my hard work finally paid off.

One of these things is not like the other…

crazy instrument groupies ::  the warehouse, hartford, ct :: february 7, 2009

Oh. My. 

Where to start?

I drove to CT early on Saturday to get some massive quality time with my little brother before heading into Hartford to watch Instrument play at the Warehouse.  Ever since we met in college, Jeff has definitely been family.  I don’t get to see him much - being grown ups will do that - so it’s all the more special when I get alone time with him.  (Spouses definitely change the dynamic whether you want them to or not…)  There was a deep conversation about stuff I wish he didn’t have to know about / deal with and I helped him set up QuickBooks (again) for his wife’s little business.

When we got to the Warehouse, we were joined by fellow UCMB’ers Brenda, Cathy, Michele, Vizma and Boski. (I still can’t believe Broken Boski still came out to play!  And managed to polka/waltz !)  The night’s activities are still spinning around in my head, but here’s the highlight reel:

I get to go backstage!!!! (Plus, when I was escorted back there, we SKIPPED! w00t for Jonah!)

OMG! I love the haircut!  Too cute.

Take my picture, but I don’t want it to look like I’m posing or anything.

Holy crap, the amount of ass smacking was amazing.  Swollen hands, bruises and tingly tushes all around.

And the licking!  I think everybody got licked at least one.  Some more often than others.  (Damn make-up wearers! BLECH!)

We’re going to Dallas!

Vizma!    Vizma! Vizma!    Vizma!

Apparently, at some point, there was a turf war over me.  I know, I don’t get it either.  (“He says that he brought you, but you’re MINE!  You were my friend first!  I mean, it’s cool that you’re friends with the band and all, but I knew you first.” *pout*)

Um, harmonization between Ben & Derek aroused Jeff.  (And no, Jeff and I do not want to sleep with the same band member. *ahem*)  There was also a joke about a tattoo, but I don’t remember the punch line.

Reminding everyone to please confirm their Vizma…

Ladies, the ball cap/Chuck Taylors/neck tie/button down shirt combo gets you all kinds of attention.  I might actually try looking like a girl for the next show…

Brenda drew the “s” in, but Michele made it thick.

Hooker! Penis! Vizma!

That group that you’re a part of - what’s it called? No, not the band! Heh.  You said “unit.”

Take your sister to the corner and… (Yeah, yeah, short and sweet.)

The Tiger is six days before my birthday.  No, after.  Oh, shit.  Drink!

Um.  Wow.  That was kind of obvious… (but VERY appreciated!)

I’m going to have a girl on each side!  No, I’m going to have all three girls.  See you later!  //  You should sleep over at my place instead of his.

I have a king sized bed.  Plenty of room for the four of us.

PONY!

Dude, it vibrates!

I woke up with the pony and a pack of gum.

Pancakes on fire! / Hot butter burns! / NO! DON’T PUT IT THERE!

How many jokes can you make about a guy and his pussy?

We delivery!

See, everything we say comes back to tv / the internet / facebook…

 

PONY!

I’m alive - just got back from what is, currently,  the best weekend of 2009. (There’s still a lot of the year to go… and there’s a birthday weekend in there.  I’m just sayin’.)

I’ve got to do grown-up schtuff tonight and there’s this little hockey game tomorrow night called the Beanpot Championship Game, but as soon as I get a chance, there will be pictures, stories, and PONY!

Have I said just how much I LOVE being back in New England? 

A sh’load. 

A big whopping sh’load.