I need some music, I need some sleep


December 26, 2020 :: 11:38 PM

Spending Christmas with Matt

I’ve taken over the HR duties at work, and there was a conversation I can’t let go of:

We had a client sleep with several of our subcontractors. Apparently, there was a move on our Project Manager.

Question: if he had slept with her and something had happened, would he be eligible for workers comp?

Heart attack, sprained muscle, STD… anything is fair game.

If they were at her house (“job site”), would it count as being on the job? Even if it was after hours?

Sometimes, I think we should adjust my meds. My head is going to the weirdest places lately.

-  -  -  -  -

We decided to paint my office this month and the husband went after it with a vengeance.

I ended up going with a soft grey - the same grey from the reading nook - with the same roman blinds, but no curtains.

That room used to be so dark that I used fairy lights and desk lamps(s) to try and brighten it up. I replaced the ugly sconces. The gold nipple lamp in the entry got replaced with a flush mount LED that’s brighter than the fucking sun. I also added a new ceiling fan with a light. Also LED. Also bright as fuck.

On one of the walls, there was a floor to ceiling mirror. One of the very first things we did when we moved in was had it removed. I left up the frame and we painted the inside of it with a bright white. (If removing the frame wasn’t going to necessitate replacing all the drywall, I’d have taken it down. That adhesive is nasty.)

The reading nook and the office are one big room, half assed divided by an arch and I think they will compliment each other beautifully. The reading nook is dark and cosy, with a bright red wall dominating. The office is bright and airy, with a large white area. They’re divided by a white and red IKEA shelving unit and I’m SO HAPPY with the way it all came together.

-  -  -  -  -

After quitting running (temporarily) due to depression, I signed up for Fandom Running Club’s year long event.

I think I have ONE real live race in 2021 so far… and I’m not sure I’ll be signing up for others.

Disney went virtual for Marathon Weekend and Rival Run and I’m not paying Disney dollars for a medal. That completely broke me. SHATTERED me.

So I’ve been licking my wounds and using a ridiculous backlog of work from the day job to distract myself.

But.

I miss running. Even if I only run on a treadmill and get bored after the first five minutes, I miss it.

I never finished my 2020 medal rerun, so I’m scrapping it. It doesn’t make sense to beat myself up for two shitty Racery events and not finishing all my medals. Let’s be honest, I’ve been in such a shit place that it takes EFFORT to get out of bed every morning, so… if that’s all I have spoons for, that’s all I have spoons for. I’m not going to sweat it.

I’ll be rerunning them all this year. Same rules apply: have to run entire medal distance in one go, intentional miles only, and the challenge medals are the same distance as all the year’s races. (The 2018 PHRC Phoenix Challenge only required that you ran all the races.)

-  -  -  -  -

I am not doing well.

That’s not a cry for attention. It’s a fact.

I’m exhausted.

I’m homesick.

I’m lonely.

It’s that last one that kills me… I’m not a people person by any means, but I miss being able to go out.

Одна


December 08, 2020 :: 8:17 PM

Fun Fact: New Britain, CT is pronounced NOOOOO BRI ’ IN! (Yup.)

Oh, the stories I could tell about the… interesting evenings spent at the Sting nightclub in Noooooooooooo Bri ’ in. Pansy Division, H20, the Bosstones, the Lemonheads, Green Day, Spring Heeled Jack, and BiG MiSTAKE (I think. SHJ/BM could have been Toad’s Place). I don’t know how many shows I saw there, but I know it was a shit ton. It was a cool little club; the Casino at Hampton Beach reminds me of it.

Because work has been too crazy, I haven’t been doing much of anything fun.

BUT.

I did decide to listen a little more actively to my favourite Ukrainian bands. So now I’ll try to write down what I hear and then google translate it to see if I’m right.

Occasionally, things go a wee bit sideways.

Picture it: It’s 7:30 AM, my favourite song comes on and I’ve just pulled into my office’s parking lot. I park in my spot and listen to the music / read the Cyrillic version of the lyrics and try to guess what I’m hearing.

ME: What the fuck? Is he singing about a banana? I mean, the girl’s alone and what girl doesn’t like to be alone with a “banana”... (*snicker*)

LYRICS TRANSLATE: Ha ha! I bet you’re even more confused now: I’m looking back, someone satisfies own tiredness by bananas,

LYRICS TRANSLATE: OH! I have another English translation: I’m looking back, someone with bananas reduces strain

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: You always accuse me of being drunk. Go fuck yourself… with a banana: I look back, someone is banishing fatigue with bananas.

ME: Well, fuck. Google Translate was right. That’s what? One out of elebenty gatrillion lyrics?

ME: Oh, wait. I don’t understand this line at all. Not a damn word.

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: My time to shine, bitches! *clears throat* *cracks knuckles*: AND YOU DON’T EVEN BLOW YOUR MUSTACHE, YOU ARRANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

ME: Go home, Google Translate. You’re drunk.

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: Fuck you. I am not drunk.

LYRICS TRANSLATE: *whispers* And you don’t give a damn, you’re arranging your affairs

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: Fuck both of you. I’m going home.

And here’s the song that brought me so much amusement the other day…. enjoy!

 

Одна
День як день, ніч як ніч.
Ніч як ніч, день як день.

Нарешті, знову ти повертаєшся додому.
Дивлюсь назад, хтось бананами гамує втому, (mmmm… banana)
Хтось щось читає, хтось в метро втикає,
Лиш вона одна біля вікна тебе чекає.

І бачить – ти ходиш поруч тими ж дворами,
Через перехід праворуч, потім біля брами.
Можливо ти зупинишся, поглянеш – третій поверх зліва.
Така дурниця, а вона була б щаслива.

Ні, думаєш, як все дістало, життя замало,
І доля всі надії, сподівання розігнала.
Куди ідеш, що буде далі – питання,
Над якими зараз думати, повір, не варто.

Приспів:
Вона одна, вона одна, сидітиме біля вікна до темна.
Гукатиме тебе й мене, а час мине...
Вона одна, вона одна, є-ее.
Гукатиме тебе й мене, а час мине...

День як день, змінилося все давно.
День у день життя – кольорове кіно.
Ніч як ніч, як сяйво запалених свіч.
День як день, а ніч як ніч.

Вона чекала тільки на тебе, чуєш?
А ти і в вус не дуєш, ти побут свій лаштуєш.(yes, blow that mustache)
Кохаєш свою машину і маєш стиль.
Отримав все, що хотів, доклав зусиль.

Чому ж тоді сумно – її немає поруч,
Як там: брама, другий будинок, потім праворуч?
Сходами летиш, третій поверх зліва,
Невже відчинить, невже буде щаслива?

Невже досягнув ти бажаної мети?
Все нормально: шампанське, квіти.
Ще хвилину стоїш, дзвоник лунає.
Ну хто там? – нікого немає.

Приспів

День як день, липень, листопад, квітень,
За вікном кожен з нас її мішень.
Ніч як ніч, в темряві вогонь світить.
Ніч як ніч, да, день як день.

Мрії прозорі в долонях, чоловічі забобони,
Довести, що ти найкращий, щурячі перегони.
Сіре місто, зранку тісто, ввечорі погони,
Поїзд далі не їде, звільніть, будь ласка, вагони.

В тому річ, що блакитними очима,
Ніч за плечима, дивиться дівчина.
Знає, що настане день, прийде весна,
Зрозумієш, що чекала вона одна.

Можливо буде день, да, прийде весна,
Ти зрозумієш, що чекала вона одна.
Скоро буде день, ага, прийде весна,
Зрозумієш, що чекала...

Thank you, Lyrics Translate!

You’re gonna need electoral approval and you don’t have the votes


November 07, 2020 :: 5:15 PM

A better cure for my recent anxiety and depression than my meds…

There’s so much I want to say, but I’m too busy crying tears of joy.

I will share this story, though.

The other day at work, I was telling a coworker of mine that I wished I could live somewhere in Europe, or Ukraine, because I have too many days when I hate my country.

He couldn’t understand why I would say that.

Well.

On Monday, I’m going to point to that map and tell him, “THAT’S why I hate this fucking country. This race shouldn’t have been this close.”

HALF THE FUCKING COUNTRY JUST SHOWED ITS TRUE COLOUR… and it’s white, white, white.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

I’ve managed to burn myself out way past the point of burn out and I didn’t even think that was possible.

And yet, I’m still bringing work home. Still spending weekends in front of the computer.

I “clocked out” early today. I did the one big project I wanted to do and then that was it.

I’ll be back at it tomorrow, but tonight, we celebrate.

Can we talk about that tongue?


September 16, 2020 :: 7:08 PM

someone’s got a new movie coming out…

I’m back to reading Teen Wolf fan fic. Like tons of stories a week. My TW FF addiction is worse than my Yuri!!! on Ice one at this moment.

It’s so bad, I picked up the fic I started to write in 2017 (the failed NaNoWriMo / stop obsessing over buying a new house project) and started re-writing it. AGAIN. I’m on the third draft, but for whatever reason, I can’t write the characters the way I see them in my head… I never have a problem with writing out of character characters, but they feel wrong.

Which means it time to binge TW!

In the background.

While I work from home.

All day Saturday.

 

- - - - - - - - - - -

So… I got my job because a CEO networking group told my company’s owner that he needed a construction accountant.

I love construction accounting, and I love cleaning up messes.

But.

I’m still feeling like I bit off more than I could chew.

I started in April and have been tearing apart the Quickbooks file ever since.

I’m still working on January. JANUARY.

It wouldn’t be nearly so bad, but I can’t just write sweeping journal entries and delete transactions all willy-nilly.

Nope.

I tried that and it backfired.

Badly.

I had to undo everything I did to clean it up.

Because of the way the books had been kept previously, I’m literally tinking the books. Transaction by transaction…. everything’s getting fixed, but jesus fucking crispy christ on a goddamn pogo stick, is it time consuming.

I’ve never had to tink accounting transactions before.

Seriously, this is like fixing errors in a cabled blanket. Stitch by stitch by painful stitch, it gets pulled apart and put back together.

Actually, no. It’s worse.

I can’t put my job in time-out…

 

1984 was set 36 years too early


September 03, 2020 :: 8:18 PM

a-fucking-men

I can’t believe the country is split in the way it is. There is no middle ground. Not any more…

I’ve been trying to stay out of political conversations - ESPECIALLY at work, where they lean a little more conservative - but tend to fail.

I basically threw a co-worker out of my office today because she wouldn’t shut up about Pelosi.

I’d be OK with her speaking her opinion if everything she said wasn’t a direct quote from Fox News or Trump commercials, but…

I’m just so over Trump and his fucking joke of a presidency.

Could we please end 2020 on a good note by preparing to inaugurate Biden?

Please?

 

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