I want to roll around the darkness, til the darkness goes away


February 10, 2019 :: 3:56 PM

matt nathanson :: the beacham, orlando :: 09.02.2019

Since moving to Florida, I’ve been missing out on one of my favourite things - music therapy.

It was so much easier to get in the car and drive the four hours to Albany every couple of weeks when I needed my fix. I definitely don’t have that here… not even working at the arena could cure my need for live music. Mostly, because I couldn’t connect to the music. I saw three concerts the entire time I worked at the arena… and bands that can fill an arena generally aren’t my thing any more.

Give me the bands no one’s ever heard of. Give me the bands that aren’t on the radio twenty-four-seven-three-sixty-five.

Enter Matt. We’ve seen him twice in the past year, once in Pompano and yesterday in Orlando. He’s definitely a one-hit wonder, but his live shows are something else. When he’s allowed to truly be himself on stage, it’s amazing. Last night was definitely no exception.

We paid for the meet and greet, which is something I normally don’t do, but it was worth it for the three extra songs we got from the soundcheck.

He also brought his song wheel. Motherfucker, did that make the night even better. Spinning and hoping that it landed on something he actually wanted to play - it was the best mix of drama and comedy. (“The wheel is like democracy - you get what you don’t want”). The wheel fucked him so bad at one point, that he moved the wheel to the song he actually wanted to play. (“You drink the beer, the beer doesn’t drink you.”

Other bits that I made note of:

Nobody can fuck up a song like Matt Nathanson.

We’re hear to see Mike Nickerson.

No one wants to hear an angry folk guy do metal.

And I can’t forget his story about the hippie chick that LICKED HIS ELBOW. (I suppose, in her defence, she DID ask him to bed, and she DID ask him if he wanted to try something…) The best part of that entire story was when he looked at the fourteen year old girl standing at the barrier and told her to close her fucking ears. He loves making a big deal out of kids in the audience, and then he forgets they’re there and it can get pretty raunchy.

He also told the story about how his daughter has an entire pintrest board dedicated to him, and also how she busts out bits from “Run”. I cannot imagine hearing an eight year old sing “I wanna watch you undress”...

I’m still kind of reeling from the events of late November / December / early January and waiting for the other shoe to drop and last night was EXACTLY what I needed. Plus, we squeezed in a couple of hours at Universal, and we all know how much I love hanging out in Diagon Alley.

Gavin DeGraw is at Universal next weekend as part of Mardi Gras and I am so very very tempted to go back for for the day. Even though I’m not a huge fan, I like him enough to attend a free concert. I can’t afford another overnight, but the concerts get out early enough that the drive home shouldn’t kill me.

I mean, it is only a three hour drive…

Celebration of Oliver and James Phelps


January 27, 2019 :: 2:18 PM

Yes, I can tell them apart. I think. :: Celebration of Harry Potter :: January 2018

I went to Celebration last year and it was amazing.

It was cancelled this year and I didn’t feel like going to any of the unofficial meet-ups this weekend. As it was, I heard that Universal was being kind of shitty to the cosplayers. Part of JK’s decision to go with Universal over Disney was that she didn’t want characters running around the park. With it being an unsanctioned event - and therefore no warning to tourists - there were lots of people who didn’t know that Mark, the guy who fucking lives as Dumbledore, wasn’t really a Universal employee. His costume is THAT good. He often posts in several groups as Dumbledore and it’s honestly hard to tell the difference between his cosplay and the real thing.

There’s also a guy that cosplays as Jacob, a girl that cosplays as Newt, and another girl that cosplays as Tina. Honestly, If I didn’t know they were cosplayers, I’d assume that they were employees, too. All that to say, I can understand why Universal was pretty strict this year.

Last year, they were strict-ish. There were issues with both Viktor Krum and Mad-Eye Moody’s staffs. Krum’s was allowed in, but Moody’s was not. OMG - the uproar amongst the fans!! Let’s be honest, though, Moody’s staff is an important part of pulling off the look. Krum’s is just a prop. So yeah. Sometimes, the inconsistencies with the TMs is a major pain in the ass, but it wasn’t as bad as it was this year. Again, unsanctioned. Which was part of why I wanted to stay home. Not that my cosplay is anything to write home about, but still.

Instead, I consoled myself by finally going through my photos from last year - all 727. No lie, 700 of them were the Phelps twins.

Yeah, 700.

They were the whole reason I went, but I didn’t realise that I was that obsessed with them…

S’OK, though. They’re pretty easy on the eyes.

My sweet little cinnamon rolls


January 11, 2019 :: 7:54 PM

this fucking anime owns my heart :: seriously, these two :: victuuri

I saw Hamilton earlier this week.

I hadn’t listened to the soundtrack, knew very little about the plot of the musical (other than it was about Hamilton), and thought the rabid Hamilton fans needed to have their heads examined.

Well.

I’m glad I saw it, but I still believe that the rabid fans need to have their heads examined.

I’ve been listening to the soundtrack because people keep telling me I’ll appreciate the musical more if I have a handle on the “dialogue”. It’s damn catchy, that’s for sure, but I felt that way in the theatre, too. The bits King George sings have been earworms since Tuesday night.  BUT the dude in Fort Lauderdale was MUCH more amusing than the guy on the OBC recording.

It was a good musical, but I don’t think it met the high expectations I went in with.

But seriously—this song—the last line? BOOM!

 

 

——-

 

Life begins again on Monday. After two months of adjusting to some major life changes, it feels good to be falling back into normalcy. (Not that I’ve ever been normal, but…)

I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my Ukrainian. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels without having a tutor to guide me, but oddly enough, I’m also making some serious progress. Who knows.

Remember when I named fight one of my three words? If I win part of that fight, we’re going to celebrate by going back to Lviv. This time, I want to really be more than functional when we go.

I’m mixing it up with flashcards, a textbook, and Harry Potter. The various input methods seem to make the material stick better and it’s fun to see the number of words I don’t know get reduced with every new exercise or sentence. (Even if my reading level is below what the ‘experts’ say it needs to be.)


Життя починається знов

 

——-


As always, I disappear into the world of fan fiction when I have trouble processing the real world. Those life changes? Yeah. I’ve needed to disappear into a fantasy world and Yuri!!! On Ice fit the bill perfectly.

I love when an OTP is canon and these two… they kill me. They are the definition of beautiful cinnamon rolls too good for this world. There aren’t enough love stories like this in the world and this one is so… yeah.

And the best part is, once you hit the big twist in episode ten, you can go back to the beginning and watch it all over again with a different point of view. Plus, that second watch-through? So much better than if that had been the original plot.

And, and, and…. it’s all fucking canon. The creators said as much.

< bouncing off the walls >
CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON
< / bouncing off the walls >

Watching that stupid anime has been the highlight of the past two months. I’ve watched it several times and it gets better every. single. time.

Their relationship is so beautiful and so well developed. Perfect little scenes like this drive the point home without beating you over the head with it. 

 

And I can’t get enough of it…. even if it means I have to learn fucking RUSSIAN to write in-universe, canon-compliant fiction. Which is something new since I’d rather play on the outskirts of JKR’s sandbox than have to deal with her continuous ret-conning and ridiculous ‘additions’ to canon.

Then again, there’s no messing with perfection, is there?

 

 

 

pssssst

 

IT IS CANON

I’m going to need a Chocolate Frog over here…


December 26, 2018 :: 10:48 AM

2018 was, um…

My obligatory blog post outlining my three (five?) words is here. I bet you’ve been waiting for it.


1) FIGHT - there’s a lot of stuff going on because of an unexpected, rather large, change to our lives.

The resolution of these items is going to take time. I know this, but I also know me. I’m not patient enough to see these things through.

I’m at that point right now where I want to get this stuff over with NOW and move on with my life. I thought about walking away from having to deal with these things, but fighting is the right thing to do.

This is the first time I’ve ever needed to fight so hard, so… yeah.

 

2) COMFORT ZONE - I’m still working on the baby blanket from hell. I’m still sewing like a mad woman. I’m still writing HP fan fiction.

But. All of those things are comfortable.

I need to work on harder craft projects.

Knit projects with cables, for example. I can do them, but I prefer not to… so. KNIT ALL THE CABLES!

Sewing is a bit different. I love the Summit Peak Hoodie pattern. I’ve made 6 shirts out of that pattern. There are other shirt patterns I want to sew - an oxford for example because ready-to-wear doesn’t fit me right. AND! I’ve started buying dress patterns because of the way they look. I DON’T WEAR DRESSES. (Do you see where this is headed? Yup. Two different comfort zones. One sewing machine sized stone.)

I need to get out of the Harry Potter sandbox and visit my other fandoms… or at least write about different characters in my fan fic. There’s so many over done tropes and so many fics for the main several ships that I’m just tired of it all. I don’t even want to read HP fan fic anymore.


3) SELF-CARE - 2018 was a doozy of a year. Like, it fucking sucked HARD.

I was struggling and it, it was bad. Very bad.

The bipolar flared to a level I haven’t experienced since my father died and I was… unprepared.

There wasn’t one clear trigger. I have a feeling that it was a bunch of little things adding up, which of course, made everything worse because I couldn’t see the whole picture.

After fighting being told to go to therapy for YEARS - because, honestly, I never saw a benefit from talking about my “underlying issues” to a complete stranger - I’ve finally sucked it up and will try it again.

I have an appointment on Jan 7th. Wish me luck. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Born to make history


December 09, 2018 :: 5:57 PM

aeon timeline :: yuri!!! on ice

So. Totally. Addicted.

For Christmas, I’m asking Santa for the first season of Yuri!!! on Ice.

You know it’s bad when I’ve already watched the episodes three times.

And wasted an entire Sunday trying to create a canon-ish timeline. (Tumblr is both my friend and my enemy when it comes to fan fiction.)

There are big changes on the horizon. Changes I didn’t want to make. Changes I don’t want to think about.

So I’m distracting myself by playing in a new sandbox. With new toys.

And blogging about it. Apparently.

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