Ukrainian fish tanks and mayonnaise

I love my job with an amount of passion equal to the amount I hate spiders.

For you playing along at home, that’s a whole metric fuckload and then some.

Thursday and Friday were fucking awesome. I don’t remember the last time I cracked up like that at work. Maybe there was a good day or two at SG way back at the beginning or with D, but I think this may top it.

Our Head Dude of Ticketing (I don’t know his real title) was in our old Group Sales Dude’s cube, going through his desk, looking for… something. I hear, “Hey, are you over there?” Then something comes flying over the cube wall. It’s a packet of mayo. He’s so thoughtful, ain’t he? I laughed so hard, but it kind of hurt when I threw it away. Oh well. I’ll always have my memories:

I didn’t think it could get much better than flying mayo packets, but he topped it yesterday.

He came over to our side of the offices looking for a bucket. Once he procured one, he was running back and forth between the box office and the bubbler trying to fill the bucket. It turns out he’s cleaning the Amazing Pissing Fish Tank in The Skippah’s office. (Seriously. The water level is below the filter thing and sounds like it’s pissing all day. I don’t know how the two men and the poor girl at the Box Office window listen to that all day.)

Finally, he starts looking for a five gallon water bottle. We don’t have any in the admin office, so he had to go down to Ops. He was trying to be all stealthy and stuff and not let anymore know that he was going to use the water to fill the tank.

Our admin called him a shyster and then wondered if that was the right word. A trip to Urban Dictionary confirmed that it wasn’t the right word, so she checked Merriam Webster. It was decided that he really wasn’t a shyster, but that we needed to work the word “pettifogger” into our vocabulary.

I was in tears, man. In. Tears.

I totally love A.

When I’m not bugging him for information and generally pissing him off, he’s pretty awesome.

——

I’m going to pay for my Ukie lessons today. So! Excited!!!!

The timing is so shitty, given current events, but it’s been a long time coming…

——

I downloaded Scrivener a long time ago, but I haven’t gotten into it. It’s the lack of iPad and iPhone apps. With Storyist and Dropbox, I can write anywhere on any iOS device. It’s the best thing ever. The only problem is, I can only seem to write at work, on my phone. *sigh*

I suppose I can’t complain. At least I’m writing…