The Dark Place beckons

oh, jawn, don’t be so obvious

Why most of the fandom thinks Johnlock is canon…

From “A Study In Pink”, the pilot episode:

Dr John Watson: You don’t have a girlfriend then?
Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.
Dr John Watson: Alright… Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way.
Sherlock Holmes: I know it’s fine.
Dr John Watson: So you got a boyfriend?
Sherlock Holmes: No.
NOTE: he does NOT say men are not his area. He just says ‘no’.
Dr John Watson: Right. Okay. You’re unattached. Like me. Fine. Good.
Sherlock Holmes: John, erm… I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work, and while I’m flattered by your interest, I’m really not looking for any…
Dr John Watson: No. I’m… not asking. No. I’m just saying, it’s all fine.
Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.

The first time I saw this episode I didn’t think much of this scene - John declares he’s not gay / not Sherlock’s boyfriend when Angelo insists on bringing a candle for the table. I read it as it’s probably meant to be read: “Please, Dog, don’t tell me that besides the violin and not talking for days, you are also going to be a terrible flatmate because you engage in freaky loud sex and have your lover(s) over at all hours of the day.”

Then, I watched the next two episodes in Series One. 

And then, I watched all three episodes of Series Two.

And then, I watched all six several times more.

After that, I put on my Johnlock goggles and I haven’t looked back.

——

Four CVs sent to the UK today. Two resumes to the US.

It’s now my FOURTH try with this one US-based (global) company. I apply for positions that might be a stretch. I apply for positions I’m overqualified for. I apply for positions that are the right fit.

I am definitely qualified for SOMETHING In their finance department…

But, all I get are the “leave us alone” emails.

I’m thinking my next cover letter will promise sexual favours for a fucking interview.

What else have I got to lose?

In a very frank conversation with a recruiter that does larger company staffing (with international companies!), I told him point blank that I would do ANYTHING for a Tier 2 visa. ANYTHING. Scrub toilets. Babysit. Furry animals.

OK. Maybe I’m little desperate if I’d bring up certain… questionable… tasks. 

Seriously, though, I’d definitely do an animal before I babysat. *grin*

——

I’m lost… so lost.

I just want a job.

I’ll stay in the US if I have to. I really don’t mind. It just changes the game plan a little… we would need to figure out a way to use the full six months granted on a visitor’s visa instead of living there a full year.

I just need a reason to get out of bed and put on clothes. Interact with the world. Do my laundry. Grab groceries.

It’s getting harder every day, and I don’t know how to fix it.

It doesn’t help that I’m irrationally angry at one of my friends for all his good fortune.

Not that he doesn’t deserve this chance at a new, good, life… he’s worked hard for it and paid his dues.

But motherfuck does it piss me off that a convicted felon can get a job (twice), gets his college paid for, and married a woman who doesn’t need his income to survive.

I have two fucking degrees. I’m wicked smart. I’m willing to work for peanuts compared to others with my skills because I got my accounting degree so late.

Why can’t I find a job and NOT get let go?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

*sigh*

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