Writing

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Гей! Нумо, козаки по конях (Нумо, козаки, гей!)

Good Advices dot com in a nutshell… I hope

I’m doing a racery event for the next ten days for my virtual running club.

I know.

This is not a surprise.

For as much as I hate running I do it a lot… more than I would prefer to, that’s for sure.

But here’s the deal:

I’m running for a Handmaid’s Tale themed team and we’re supporting The Center for Reproductive Rights.

The Center for Reproductive Rights is a global human rights organization of lawyers and advocates who ensure reproductive rights are protected in law as fundamental human rights for the dignity, equality, health, and well-being of every person.

We envision a world where every person participates with dignity as an equal member of society, regardless of gender.

Where every woman is free to decide whether or when to have children and whether to get married; where access to quality reproductive health care is guaranteed; and where every woman can make these decisions free from coercion or discrimination.

So. Yeah.

I’ve never before tried to fundraise here and I’ve been more careful about posting my real name and photos of my face here. I suppose I should just go back and edit old entries, but I don’t care. If you really want to go THAT far back, well, you deserve a medal. Or maybe a stiff drink? A lobotomy? Maybe a pony?

Anyhoo.. my team name is OfFRC (FRC is my running club’s name.) and you can donate on the team’s page. If you want to, you could donate to me as well, if you know how to find me. My avatar is currently the same as my FB profile picture.

Also, there is a girl on my team with a very similar first name and my last initial. That is not me. If you click on me, you’ll see my full name.

If linking to the fundraiser outs me, then so be it.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

I just tried to log into my Wendell Gee gmail account with the user name WendellGrr1985.

Dude.

I’m not even angry at anything right now.

Except, maybe, my writer’s brain.

The words, they will not come.

I have all kinds of world building done and I’ve sketched out some bits, but actually writing the story is kicking my ass. I’m like a paragraph into the actual story and…nothing.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

I guess since I started talking about running, I might as well finish by talking about running.

Intervals.

I know I talked about them before, but I tried again last night.

I walked for about 8 minutes of the first mile because I couldn’t get the damn interval timer to work and then I started. I used 15 sec run and 45 sec walk as I didn’t feel like killing myself with a 30/30 - I’ve not felt well this week at all. Bunch of causes. No cures.

I did a mile at 15 sec run / 45 sec walk. I ran at 4.0 mph (15 minute mile) and walked at 3.3 mph (18 minute mile). I ended up averaging a 17 minute mile. A mile slower than Disney requires - and I am NOT interested in crossing paths with the balloon ladies in November.

For the last mile, I upped it to 15/45 with a 4.3 mph run (14 minute mile) and stayed with the 3.3 mph walk. I averaged a 16:42 mile.

I understand the underlying math and physics behind intervals, but I didn’t feel like I was moving faster. As a whole, I had one of my slower 5Ks ever, but I couldn’t walk at full speed while I was fucking with the app.

It’s amazing to see how they work.

I’ll be hopping on the treadmill soon - I’m waiting for The Ick to pass and then I’m going to attempt a 10K with intervals. I’ll probably stick to the 15/45 ratio at 4.0/3.5 (17 minute mile) for most of it. Maybe I’ll bump it to 4.5/3.5 for the second 5K. I always manage to finish with negative splits. It just takes me FOREVER to get going.

For future me: pace tables found here and run-walk calculator found here .

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

I’m not sure what does it for me - thinking about the Kozak dancing in the video (because OMG it cracks me up!) or the beat - but it is one of my favourite songs to run to.

Posted by Matty on 09/16 at 10:29 AM
#threewordscompletely randommusic is lifeMy brain is weirdrunningso many fandomsWritingPermalink

Monday, September 04, 2023

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

I certainly don’t write for the money.

In case you were wondering, the 2012-2022 NHL CBA is 540 pages of the driest legalese to ever exist.

I don’t even know how I got a copy of it, other than the fact that I worked in the NHL. There’s no real reason for me to have it, but I’m glad I do.

I make no secret of the fact that I write a lot of M/M fan fiction or read a lot of it.

Seriously, my Kindle Unlimited account history bounces between horror and gay fiction. I tried joining two different book clubs… I figure life is hard enough; why suffer through a book club’s suggestions? Read a biography? Why? Nobody interests me that much.

Anyhoo… professional writers will say that you need to read a ton to be able to write better. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I’ve always been a reader. Maybe that’s why I love to write. I write the stories I want to read. The ones that only exist in my head. Do I ever finish them? Rarely, but the writing is what’s important. Even if I have six WIPs right now, it feels good to write until I get bored with the plot or stuck because my characters don’t play nice.

Wow. That went in a completely different direction.

Let’s try this again:
I make no secret of the fact that I write a lot of M/M fan fiction or read a lot of it.

Seriously, my Kindle Unlimited account history bounces between horror and gay fiction. “Professional” writers will say that you need to read a ton to be able to write better.

So.

For whatever reason, there’s a TON of hockey romances being written. Gay fiction is not immune to this phenomenon, and well… I’m in the middle of a quest to read EVERY. SINGLE. BOOK. in this very specific sub-genre. (Sub-sub-genre? Whatever.)

Which brings me full circle to the CBA.

I hate world building. HATE IT. It’s the main reason I love fan fiction. Unless it’s an AU, there’s no reason for it.

Everyone who would read Harry Potter fan fic knows the stories, either from the movies or the books.

Everyone who would read Teen Wolf fan fic is probably familiar with the MTV show (not the 1980s movie. Oh, fuck, no.) - except for me. I had NO idea what I was getting into when I followed some random tag on AO3 and wound up reading Sciles. (YUK!). There was a deep dive into the show and yeah, I did it ass backwards, but I quickly fell in love with Sterek, Steter, Stetopher. (OK. So I’m obsessed with Stiles. What about it?)

Taking Harry Potter out of Hogwarts and putting him in a non-magical, hockey, universe seems relatively simple. He and Draco are on separate teams, they hook up over the All-Star break, then they hook up every time they play each other… smexy times happen, and then they wind up on the same team, and not so smexy stuff happens before the guaranteed HEA.

Except.

I can’t write the same sort of hockey fic the others write - where they gloss over the world because people have a basic understanding of pro sports. Some of them write beautiful descriptions of the game, but leave out everything and anything that helps show the true behind the scenes life of a hockey team.

I’ve worked in Community Relations, worked on the arena management side, and worked in an accounting department for both an arena and a team.

I understand entry level contracts and the salary cap. I understand the fear of being traded after making a city your home. I understand the pressure of winning a Cup.

I understand players and the game in a way that the other authors don’t.

And it’s leading me to get bogged down in world building.

I know it’s worth it, because it’s what I feel is missing every time I read one of the hockey books. (See? I write what I want to read.)

I’ve got team names, mascots, schedules, QMJHL / OHL teams, prep schools and colleges… I’m working on the NHL Draft and teammates right now.

I’ve got Harry being from Roxbury, a sort of rough Boston suburb. He’s poor, living with the Dursley’s and generally looking to escape - just like the ‘real’ Harry. Draco, on the other hand, is rich and privileged, and also looking to escape.

It’s important to me that people know how the Draft actually works and what an entry level contract looks like. What being bounced between the minors and the NHL looks like because that’s Harry’s path through the world of the NHL. A lot of those things will inform his decisions and make him the person he becomes. (Much like learning magic and facing down Voldemort every year forced him to become Harry Potter, the Savior of the Wizarding World.)

But, holy fuck, it is hard.

I’m a pantser. Never a plotter.

Writing something this detailed is so outside my comfort zone that I’m actually kind of enjoying it. I do need to plot the fuck out of it, though. Otherwise, nothing would make sense and I’m writing the same kind of ‘they meet, fall in love, become afraid to come out, love conquers all’ bulllshit I’m currently reading. (Yeah. I said bullshit. I’m trying to find that unicorn in all the gay hockey fiction… but we all know unicorns don’t exist. Won’t stop me from reading every single book, though.)

I’m also fighting the point of view issue.

In one of my HP fan fic groups, there was a HUGE discussion over POV in fics. Apparently, they have to be 3rd person limited since that’s how JKR wrote the story. (Fun fact, the first chapter of the first book - Philosopher’s Stone, thank you very much - is actually 3rd person omniscient; it’s a quick and dirty bit of world building, but as effective as anything I’ve ever come across.)

I like writing in 1st person, 3rd person omniscient when the mood strikes, but I can’t figure out how to tell this particular story. Do I write it strictly from Harry’s POV? Do I sprinkle in a little Malfoy? Does Harry tell his story in his own words or is it told from a distance?

I’m leaning towards 3rd person limited, because reasons, but it feels too limited to me. (HA!!!!)

I don’t know.

I sat down to write this entry thinking it would help me figure shit out, but now I’m more unsettled than before.

Oh well.

Maybe I’ll work on some Ukrainian stuff and maybe the website I started like a month ago and let this stuff get worked through subconsciously?

That actually sounds like a pretty good plan…

So yeah.

До побачення!

Posted by Matty on 09/04 at 09:36 AM
completely randomHockeyMy brain is weirdso many fandomsWritingPermalink

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Big man sticks and tight tunnels

You can force the girl out of hockey, but you can’t take the hockey from the girl

Oh.
My.
God.

What have I just done?!?

So a little while ago, I had posted that I was going to write a piece of original fiction (het, no less!) in response to all the hockey books I’ve been reading.

The fact that my female MC is aro/ace has completely thrown me for a loop. I have no idea how to write her. At all.

I even purchased some books and joined some FB groups, hoping that would help.

Nope.

I’m more confused than ever.

Jump to last night - in one of my Drarry groups, a girl mentioned how she hated the words “entrance” and “member”, and wanted to know if we had any pet peeves / problems with certain words.

I said that I was OK with hole and entrance because, no matter where, it’s a receptacle and meant to receive. I have more issues with descriptions for the things being received. Like man (something) as in, “He poked his big man stick into her tiny tunnel.”

And that one sentence just… just… created all kinds of fucking chaos.

So, apparently, I’m now writing a Drarry hockey AU.

Posted by Matty on 08/20 at 10:34 AM
completely randomHockeyMy brain is weirdUCONNWritingPermalink

Sunday, August 06, 2023

I guess I’m doing something right

I hit ‘maybe running isn’t for me’ at the same time normal runners are hitting ‘I’m ready for this’

Still working through reading some of the short stories and discarded longer works I’m unearthing as part of the LONGEST CLEANING / REORGANIZING PROJECT IN THE HISTORY OF THE FUCKING WORLD.

I found two writing assignments graded by very different teachers, written at very different points in my life.

I think this is a good thing:
I credit (extra) you for this story! I find it hard “grading” a story!

Did you mean KC to be selfish? I got that impression. When she confesses to Jeff and tells the truth, her response turned me off.  He didn’t deserve it! And her shortness at the end to the teacher - nasty -

Did you intend to create a nasty, selfish, young girl?

The situation seems to be overblown. Much ado about nothing -

Was this intended to create a mountain out of a molehill???

Lots of questions!

I’m not sure about answer!

I am fucking DYING at the ‘he didn’t deserve it’! Like, fuck, dude, you got into that shit.

Isn’t that the whole point of being a writer? To make people feel things?

And, no, I didn’t mean KC to be so nasty, but it was written in 1990.

My dad and I had moved out of the house I grew up in and were living in an apartment. 1990 to 1992 could be called my ‘angsty’ period, at a minimum.

So, if KC was a Mary Sue (let’s be serious: she totally fucking was), it’s a pretty good indication of just how fucked up I was at that point.

On the flip side, on a junior high school writing assignment, I got this:
Wendell -

This is exceptionally good! It’s subtle and sensitive - I’m impressed! (A+)

Junior high was a very different world compared to high school. I can’t say Junior High was perfect - there were a shit ton of problems at home. I’m pretty sure that this is when the depression started showing its face to the world,too. I started going days without sleeping and I was never happy. NEVER. I faked it well enough, but looking at that young girl… knowing what she was up against and what her future would hold. God, I just want to put her somewhere safe and protect her.

Story #1 was supposed to be a little bit of a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. Of course, obviously, it didn’t go well.

Story #2 was about a girl who had grown apart from the popular girls she had been friends with and reconnected with a less popular, forgotten friend.

I never lived story #1, but what person doesn’t want the opportunity to hang out with their crush? Fuck, I couldn’t write the romantic scenes for shit. (And now I write porn. Who needs romance when you have a dick? (Or a sex toy. My porn is equal opportunity.))

Sorry. Not porn. Erotica.

Speaking of Mary Sues, my little het fic is definitely including bits of my past.

The bad ones.

Write what you know, right?

Fuck.

I almost wrote Right what you know, write?

Englishing good is hard work.

But, anyway, that one is a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. About a girl who loses all her friends.

Stickin’ to what I know.

Obviously.

- - - - - - - - -

I gave up on watching horror movies while I play The Sims. I’ve seen all the ones I’m interested in on Tubi, and none of the other streaming services have anything that I haven’t seen. (Give me a good found-footage haunted house/paranormal TV show movie any day.)

So, I decided to watch Bio-Dome.

BIO-FUCKING-DOME.

Yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking, either.

But there’s a song in there that is on the Threesome soundtrack. (Also a Stephen Baldwin film where he’s a complete idiot.)

I LOVED Threesome.

So, last night, I found an external blu-ray disc player, attached it to the Mac, and had a completely enjoyable trip down memory lane. And those don’t happen very often around these parts.

You can’t buy the soundtrack, though.

You also can’t buy the soundtrack for “Pump Up the Volume” which will probably make an appearance today.

I was able to find all the PUtV songs on iTunes, which was great, but it would have been SO MUCH EASIER to just buy the soundtrack. (Licensing, smishening.)

Unfortunately, a chunk of songs from Threesome’s soundtrack are near impossible to find. I still have some options I need to look at, but I’m not holding out hope that I’ll find digital copies.

I do, however, have an old school tape deck and a Mac it connects to.

I see myself dusting off both and doing some digitizing myself.

Worst case, I hook the old Mac up again and use it as an oversized iPod.

- - - - - - - - - -

I decided to do Dopey virtually this year. That way, I can go at my own pace and not worry about the asthma, or blisters, or whatever else will raise its ugly face.

I am doing Wine and Dine in Orlando, though. Yesterday, I decided to get serious about my training. I had been on a streak, then G died, and.. I lost my treadmill buddy. It’s been hard to get on the treadmill and not having him laying in the doorway, protecting me.

I walked the first and last miles of a 5K. That second mile? I did walk / run intervals - I’ve always played with them in the past, but… eh.

Last night? Last night was my best mile since 2019.

Completely sustainable over a mile.

I’m going to hop on the treadmill again tonight, I think, and try again. Maybe I’ll nudge up the running speed. Maybe I’ll set my Garmin to measure laps. (Which is a pain in the ass, but whatever.)

Don’t know.

But I’m kind of excited to see what happens.

Posted by Matty on 08/06 at 10:53 AM
bipolarcompletely randomrunningWritingPermalink

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Can I, can I put it in your slot?

“Mmm,” she said, licking her lips. “Is that package for me?”

I don’t know how I survived this past week at work - or today, for that matter - but when that popped up in my FB memories… it made everything so much better.

It might have inspired some dirty Victurri fanfiction… not mine, though. We’ll have to see if PT and V actually do something with Yuuri and those little mailman shorts like they teased.

 

- - - - - - - - - -



Bunnywest’s second book dropped at midnight.

If I stayed up for a book launch, is it really too much to expect me to wait until I woke up to dig in?

It was worth the lack of sleep.

Seriously.

It, too, deserves the very. good. lube.

- - - - - - - - - -



I’ve been a writer my entire life. From my earliest memories, I’ve always written some sort of fiction. We used to go on vacation to Maine and I would sit on the hotel balcony staring at the ocean and chewing a blue Bic pen. (Always blue.) Once the words came, it had to be college ruled paper. I didn’t care if it was a pad or a notebook. That wide ruled shit is ridiculous.

Of course, I have honed my skills and become the whole… package (*snickers*). I’ve taken Official Writing Classes. I’ve had peer reviews. I’ve had (master)beta readers.

I’m fucking published. (Stick that in your slot.)

All that to say, I hate when something unexpected slides in the back door.

(Oh my god. I am dying over here.)

I’m never going to claim to be a plotter. Nope. I’m a hardcore (I said hard) pantser.

Anyhoo.

In all seriousness, my little piece of het fiction just threw me a major curveball.

I thought it was the female lead’s story. Told by her, as unreliable a narrator as any out there today.

About falling in love with a sport that breaks your heart over and over again.

About falling in love with your best friend.

About having the happily ever after you really deserve but that only ever happens in fiction.

So… the whole package.

(Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I’m reading it over, trying to figure out what comes next, and motherfuck.

Wait. That wasn’t my actual reaction.

Let’s try that again.

SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING DOUCHENOZZLE. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!?

(Interrobangs are cool. HA! I said bang. (Bet you didn’t even know there was a word for ?!?) There’s also shebang (#!) and don’t ask me how I know these things.) 

Turns out that, despite the shifting POVs, it’s still her story… as told by the male lead.

That was… not… supposed to happen.

Oh, and the kicker?

She’s asexual. AND aromantic.

Because why the fuck not?

I didn’t realise how much I didn’t know about being aroace / acearo until I had to figure out how to write her.

I spend all this time thinking I have a general idea of what’s going to happen and then the characters just fuck shit up.

I feel like I’m taking dictation. (Ha! Dic…I’m reaching now, aren’t I?)

To quote my father, I don’t know what I don’t know until I know I don’t know it.

I’m learning that I don’t know a lot.

Like how to control characters so that they’re not ruining my grand romantic relationship.

Or engaging in statutory rape.

Or sending dirty texts to their dads.

Yeah. We won’t talk about Stiles’ accidental text to the Sheriff.

WHY CAN’T MY CHARACTERS BEHAVE?

- - - - - - - - - -



New expansion pack broke the Sims again.

I’m playing in a new save file because something happened to my favourite legacy file and the game crashes everytime I load into the game…

There’s a mod that I love that’s sort of working. The developer knows it’s throwing up an error and is working on it, but I’m not too concerned. The bit it’s breaking doesn’t matter to me.

And if I lose this save file? I have another one (my second favourite legacy) that’s sitting in time out until the dust settles.

OK. Enough stalling…

I have a horse to train and boys to screw in the stable. (Talk about a roll in the hay!)

Sometimes, 18+ Sims mods make the game so much better…

Posted by Matty on 07/22 at 04:14 PM
completely randomWritingPermalink
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