The Center for Reproductive Rights is a global human rights organization of lawyers and advocates who ensure reproductive rights are protected in law as fundamental human rights for the dignity, equality, health, and well-being of every person.
We envision a world where every person participates with dignity as an equal member of society, regardless of gender.
Where every woman is free to decide whether or when to have children and whether to get married; where access to quality reproductive health care is guaranteed; and where every woman can make these decisions free from coercion or discrimination.
So. Yeah.
I’ve never before tried to fundraise here and I’ve been more careful about posting my real name and photos of my face here. I suppose I should just go back and edit old entries, but I don’t care. If you really want to go THAT far back, well, you deserve a medal. Or maybe a stiff drink? A lobotomy? Maybe a pony?
Anyhoo.. my team name is OfFRC (FRC is my running club’s name.) and you can donate on the team’s page. If you want to, you could donate to me as well, if you know how to find me. My avatar is currently the same as my FB profile picture.
Also, there is a girl on my team with a very similar first name and my last initial. That is not me. If you click on me, you’ll see my full name.
If linking to the fundraiser outs me, then so be it.
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I just tried to log into my Wendell Gee gmail account with the user name WendellGrr1985.
Dude.
I’m not even angry at anything right now.
Except, maybe, my writer’s brain.
The words, they will not come.
I have all kinds of world building done and I’ve sketched out some bits, but actually writing the story is kicking my ass. I’m like a paragraph into the actual story and…nothing.
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I guess since I started talking about running, I might as well finish by talking about running.
Intervals.
I know I talked about them before, but I tried again last night.
I walked for about 8 minutes of the first mile because I couldn’t get the damn interval timer to work and then I started. I used 15 sec run and 45 sec walk as I didn’t feel like killing myself with a 30/30 - I’ve not felt well this week at all. Bunch of causes. No cures.
I did a mile at 15 sec run / 45 sec walk. I ran at 4.0 mph (15 minute mile) and walked at 3.3 mph (18 minute mile). I ended up averaging a 17 minute mile. A mile slower than Disney requires - and I am NOT interested in crossing paths with the balloon ladies in November.
For the last mile, I upped it to 15/45 with a 4.3 mph run (14 minute mile) and stayed with the 3.3 mph walk. I averaged a 16:42 mile.
I understand the underlying math and physics behind intervals, but I didn’t feel like I was moving faster. As a whole, I had one of my slower 5Ks ever, but I couldn’t walk at full speed while I was fucking with the app.
It’s amazing to see how they work.
I’ll be hopping on the treadmill soon - I’m waiting for The Ick to pass and then I’m going to attempt a 10K with intervals. I’ll probably stick to the 15/45 ratio at 4.0/3.5 (17 minute mile) for most of it. Maybe I’ll bump it to 4.5/3.5 for the second 5K. I always manage to finish with negative splits. It just takes me FOREVER to get going.
For future me: pace tables found here and run-walk calculator found here .
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I’m not sure what does it for me - thinking about the Kozak dancing in the video (because OMG it cracks me up!) or the beat - but it is one of my favourite songs to run to.
I hit ‘maybe running isn’t for me’ at the same time normal runners are hitting ‘I’m ready for this’
Still working through reading some of the short stories and discarded longer works I’m unearthing as part of the LONGEST CLEANING / REORGANIZING PROJECT IN THE HISTORY OF THE FUCKING WORLD.
I found two writing assignments graded by very different teachers, written at very different points in my life.
I think this is a good thing: I credit (extra) you for this story! I find it hard “grading” a story!
Did you mean KC to be selfish? I got that impression. When she confesses to Jeff and tells the truth, her response turned me off. He didn’t deserve it! And her shortness at the end to the teacher - nasty -
Did you intend to create a nasty, selfish, young girl?
The situation seems to be overblown. Much ado about nothing -
Was this intended to create a mountain out of a molehill???
Lots of questions!
I’m not sure about answer!
I am fucking DYING at the ‘he didn’t deserve it’! Like, fuck, dude, you got into that shit.
Isn’t that the whole point of being a writer? To make people feel things?
And, no, I didn’t mean KC to be so nasty, but it was written in 1990.
My dad and I had moved out of the house I grew up in and were living in an apartment. 1990 to 1992 could be called my ‘angsty’ period, at a minimum.
So, if KC was a Mary Sue (let’s be serious: she totally fucking was), it’s a pretty good indication of just how fucked up I was at that point.
On the flip side, on a junior high school writing assignment, I got this: Wendell -
This is exceptionally good! It’s subtle and sensitive - I’m impressed! (A+)
Junior high was a very different world compared to high school. I can’t say Junior High was perfect - there were a shit ton of problems at home. I’m pretty sure that this is when the depression started showing its face to the world,too. I started going days without sleeping and I was never happy. NEVER. I faked it well enough, but looking at that young girl… knowing what she was up against and what her future would hold. God, I just want to put her somewhere safe and protect her.
Story #1 was supposed to be a little bit of a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. Of course, obviously, it didn’t go well.
Story #2 was about a girl who had grown apart from the popular girls she had been friends with and reconnected with a less popular, forgotten friend.
I never lived story #1, but what person doesn’t want the opportunity to hang out with their crush? Fuck, I couldn’t write the romantic scenes for shit. (And now I write porn. Who needs romance when you have a dick? (Or a sex toy. My porn is equal opportunity.))
Sorry. Not porn. Erotica.
Speaking of Mary Sues, my little het fic is definitely including bits of my past.
The bad ones.
Write what you know, right?
Fuck.
I almost wrote Right what you know, write?
Englishing good is hard work.
But, anyway, that one is a meet-cute, boy meets girl thing. About a girl who loses all her friends.
Stickin’ to what I know.
Obviously.
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I gave up on watching horror movies while I play The Sims. I’ve seen all the ones I’m interested in on Tubi, and none of the other streaming services have anything that I haven’t seen. (Give me a good found-footage haunted house/paranormal TV show movie any day.)
But there’s a song in there that is on the Threesome soundtrack. (Also a Stephen Baldwin film where he’s a complete idiot.)
I LOVED Threesome.
So, last night, I found an external blu-ray disc player, attached it to the Mac, and had a completely enjoyable trip down memory lane. And those don’t happen very often around these parts.
You can’t buy the soundtrack, though.
You also can’t buy the soundtrack for “Pump Up the Volume” which will probably make an appearance today.
I was able to find all the PUtV songs on iTunes, which was great, but it would have been SO MUCH EASIER to just buy the soundtrack. (Licensing, smishening.)
Unfortunately, a chunk of songs from Threesome’s soundtrack are near impossible to find. I still have some options I need to look at, but I’m not holding out hope that I’ll find digital copies.
I do, however, have an old school tape deck and a Mac it connects to.
I see myself dusting off both and doing some digitizing myself.
Worst case, I hook the old Mac up again and use it as an oversized iPod.
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I decided to do Dopey virtually this year. That way, I can go at my own pace and not worry about the asthma, or blisters, or whatever else will raise its ugly face.
I am doing Wine and Dine in Orlando, though. Yesterday, I decided to get serious about my training. I had been on a streak, then G died, and.. I lost my treadmill buddy. It’s been hard to get on the treadmill and not having him laying in the doorway, protecting me.
I walked the first and last miles of a 5K. That second mile? I did walk / run intervals - I’ve always played with them in the past, but… eh.
Last night? Last night was my best mile since 2019.
Completely sustainable over a mile.
I’m going to hop on the treadmill again tonight, I think, and try again. Maybe I’ll nudge up the running speed. Maybe I’ll set my Garmin to measure laps. (Which is a pain in the ass, but whatever.)
Marathon Weekend registration was this past Tuesday and apparently sold out in record time.
I was sitting in the neurologist’s office with my husband asking about options… but I’d already decided against trying Dopey again.
Right now, I don’t have the interest in running a marathon. 6 hours of running isn’t really what I want to do right now, and I doubt I’ll ever get fast enough to cut that time down.
So, I passed.
I did register for Wine & Dine, though. I think if I start training in earnest now, and maybe follow some of the Dopey / Wine & Dine rD training plans, I’ll be fine with the half marathon.
I need to redeem myself for the crappy runs I’ve had lately…
I have been pretty good about putting in some miles every day, though. They may not be quality miles, but they are miles.
I even started doing a lot of iFit workouts that are hilly or walking intervals, so I’m getting some variety in.
I’m doing the Space Coast South Half Marathon this Thanksgiving, and that should be fun. The South course has no time limit and I’m going for the experience - mostly because some of my favourite Dopeys are going.
I’m at peace with my decision, but I’m having massive FOMO this weekend (Springtime Surprise) because I love the medals and theming, but by the time I decided I wanted to do it, it was sold out.
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In other news, I’m writing my first original piece of fiction in a long time. (AND it’s het!!!! Yeah. I don’t know where that came from either.) It’s a wee bit autobiographical, but I got inspired by reading these absolutely terrible books about women who work for sports teams.
I’m four chapters in, and it’s getting there. It’s a totally shitty first draft. I mean, really shitty first draft, but it’s a nice break from throuples and soulmates and statutory rape. (Wow. I write the full spectrum, don’t I?)
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As if I don’t have enough hobbies I’m ignoring, I’ve decided to learn how to crochet.
So… that’s knitting, counted cross stitch, scrapbooking, sewing, photography, web design, and a few others that I have all this stuff for, but will probably do nothing with.
I should really do a photo dump here… I made a friend at the Ft Lauderdale half and the concerts have been amazing, but I don’t have the energy.
I know I should be scheduling Ukrainian lessons, but I don’t have the energy.
I know I should be doing… anything but I don’t have the energy.
I’m very obviously depressed, but having to watch a beloved family member deteriorate in front of your eyes will do that to you.
It turns out he tested negative for DM (but may be one of the 2% affected by it and doesn’t have the carrier gene for it), but it could be a spinal tumour or a herniated disk. It’s $5,000 for a doggy MRI… and then, he’d probably need surgery to fix either issue. He’s 12. I’m not putting him through all that… and as much as I love and will do anything for him, let’s be honest. It’s stupid to spend that much on him. It’s not going to increase his quality of life and I don’t want him to spend whatever time he has left dealing with the repercussions of those decisions.
We’ve got him on prednisone, but it’s a temporary fix.
We’ve bought some time, but I don’t know how much.
I’m always that person who takes charge of a group project when people are slacking… this time, I bulldozed a Captain.
In my defence, not a single person on the team was offering anything up, and I have charities that mean a shit-ton to me.
FRC is attempting a new format for racery - teams of five people randomly chosen, a fundraising component, and all the shenanigans we’ve grown to love.
I’m really looking forward to this one. The last few just haven’t been fun because people talk offline and make teams full of super cappers. They take off and are impossible to catch… but, with random people creating teams? We might actually have a chance to have fun this go ‘round.
So any way - I wanted to choose Cobblestone for our charity, but that didn’t work out. (Cobblestone hooked us up with with our trip to Lviv, sent us the most amazing tour guide ever, and now are helping support his family through donations. I donate as much as I can, when I can.) Unfortunately, Cobblestone isn’t a registered charity in Canada yet.
I asked if we could fundraise for Razom for Ukraine. This is a better known charity and absolutely massive. I’d rather donate to them, if I can’t directly donate to Ukrainians hurt by the lack of tourism.
Razom is the transliterated version of разом - the Ukrainian word for together. (It’s pronounced “rah-zom”)
The team ran with the word, brainstormed different ways to use razom in the team name, and we settled on razoomies, because, well, we’ll zoom.
Razombies was also thrown out there. I loved that one, too.
Our team colours were also chosen for us. The Ukrainian flag serving as inspiration.
I know it’s trendy right now to care about Ukraine, but - of course - this means so much to me, personally.
I’ve been crying on and off, I’ve been so touched by the interest.
I have bunch of hashtags chosen for the race itself and I’m so excited to use them.
If we’re friends on Facebook, you’re about to get sick of the relentless posts sending you to the racery fundraising link. And I’d apologise, but sorry, not sorry.
And I devoured that fucker in between bouts of swearing at iTunes / Apple Music / whatever the fuck Apple is calling it now. DEVOURED.
YES. IT IS SO GOOD IT DESERVES SOME SERIOUS ALL CAPS LOVING. AND THE REALLY GOOD LUBE.
There is something amazing about her writing, and whether it’s Steter / Stetopher / original characters, she always delivers. I think the majority of my AO3 Teen Wolf bookmarks are her stories.
I don’t remember how I found out about it, but now I see that she’s co-written an entire series of LGBTQIA+ stories with Discontented Winter. (And - rabbit hole alert! - this just made my entire fucking, um, 15 minutes.)
I’m going to need to get a tumblr account again just to follow those two.
Just like I had to get a new twitter account for the balloon ladies tracker.
Every time I think it’s OK to get rid of an orphaned account, AS SOON AS I HIT “DELETE MY ACCOUNT”, shit happens.
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An entire lifetime ago, when I bought the new MBP, I decided to shelve the old iMac. I didn’t need two computers on my desk; not when one of them basically served as a jukebox.
I took my little LaCie drive that had my iTunes library on it, (bought a FUCKING ADAPTER. For fuck’s sake, Apple. STOP IT.), and fired up the Music app.
Holy Jesus motherfucking crispy Christ on a fucking bike.
I had multiple versions of songs. And I don’t mean twelve different versions of R.E.M.‘s “It’s the End of the World…” - I have twelve of those because it’s on Best Ofs, bootlegs, and studio albums.
I mean I have six different “Spin, Spin, Sugar” files in my hard drive, each one sitting happily as a line in the iTunes song listing.
Apparently, the app made a habit of creating a music folder when 1) it downloaded a song and 2) every time it decided / forced me to “organize” my library.
So, I had music folders in music folders in music folders in music folders in.. you get the gist, yes?
And every single one of those folders held MY ENTIRE MUSIC LIBRARY.
I filled up a massive external hard drive with music because Apple decided to duplicate my music folder every fucking time it felt like it.
I’ve been cleaning it up in bits and pieces because when you have a dozen files named “01_Intro” you have to be VERY FUCKING CAREFUL. (Why do bootleggers all name their files like this?!?! I mean, I love the consistency, but I can’t tell if that intro is from Boston ‘95 or Boston ‘03. Just sayin’...)
I’m also overwriting the metadata on the music files - I HATE transliterated Ukrainian, so I’m putting everything into Cyrillic. Now, everything shows up in iTunes the way God intended it to. (But seriously, fuck record labels who use transliterated Ukrainian on albums.)
I’ve been buying new music on the phone and then downloading it to the computer. THEN, I have to go into the new, clean, pretty, hard drive, REMOVE THE MUSIC FOLDER, and put the songs where they actually fucking belong.
It doesn’t seem to like the fact that my music folder is “LaCie/iTunes/Music” - I’m pretty sure that’s what’s confusing things… but when I have the location as “LaCie/iTunes” Apple rejects the location and claims it can’t find my iTunes library.
I have some random files still to find and I am missing entire R.E.M. bootlegs, so that’s going to be a search. I also need to pull the playlists off the iMac at some point.
But, I’m considering the task done.
I can listen to music when I’m sitting at the computer again.
I’ll take that as a win.
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In other news, I only finished the 5K and the 10K this year. Dopey attempt #2 shat the bed.
(The husband was there to watch the epic fail, but that’s a story for another time… it only took a $50 gift card to Pure Hockey (which I bought before he became an unsupportive ass thankyouverymuch) for him to understand what it means to support someone. grrrrrrrrrrrrr)
I know there’s a lot of factors at play and the asthma seems to be the biggest issue. I was struggling to breathe after pushing myself for 9 miles and a medic practically forced me off the course.
I hated the pulmonologist I saw, so I have to find another one.
I’m also trying to figure out what I do about running… I had a goal to move every day, even if it’s just a mile on the treadmill in my jammies.
And I promptly threw that plan out the window and have been sat here, licking my wounds, and refusing to even think about the treadmill.
2023 and I are not getting off to the best start.
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Oh wait.
I lied.
I’m a lying liar who lies because…
I HAVE HIT A MUSICAL TRIFECTA.
I’m seeing Matt Nathanson (Mike Nickerson? Matt Petty? Whatever the fuck his name is.) in February. Dropped a shit ton on the pre-show hang, too. Love those extra moments with him. Even if I can’t remember his name.
I’m seeing БУМБОКС(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) in March. They’re finally coming overseas. I mean, I forgive them for cancelling on last March’s show, and I hate that this a fundraising / awareness raising tour, but they’re FINALLY coming.
And and and and and and and and and and and and…
MOTHERFUCKING ОКЕАН ЕЛЬЗИ IS COMING TO MIAMI IN APRIL.
Bonus: Антитіла is coming overseas in the fall. No idea where or when, but I’m there. Even if I have to get on a plane.
Still pissed I missed KALUSH because of Wine and Dine, but…
Бумбокс, Океан Ельзи, and Антитіла are the Ukrainian OG Three and I get to see ALL THREE OF THEM THIS YEAR.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more satisfied, music wise.
(Also, I think it’s time to be frightened by the amount of time I spend on the internet. I wanted to find out what “a trifecta but four” was and, wow, that was the first autofill suggestion google came up with. I don’t know if I should hang my head in shame over that or laugh hysterically.)
(Spoiler: I laughed hysterically. And fell off the damn chair.)
To be honest, I had forgotten about it and scheduled a dog grooming appointment in that time slot instead.
For what it’s worth, I was completely overwhelmed at the amount of information there was. It just seemed like too much work for a one-off. Yeah. Despite having a bunch of pocket friends who play, I’m just not interested.
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I thought I’d end this with my most favourite songs from the four bands I’m seeing this year, but some of them have already been posted. And besides, how do I pick my favourite????
I’m just going randomize that shit and give you whatever the magic wheel spits out. (Just like a Mike Nickerson show!)
We’ll start with The Infamous Wheel just so you get the joke. (Bonus! We were at this show.)
When the sun is getting lower // and your wildest days are done // and they ask you ‘bout a photograph // from back when you were young // well, baby, you don’t have to tell ‘em // what we did when we were us // but when I think about it // I hope you blush, just a little bit…
Скажi менi, чому не можу // Забути те, чого нема.
Tell me why I cannot // forget what I do not have.
Хворі ми хворобою однією // На щастя ще не вигадали від неї панацею // На голову мов злива впала ця вразлива манія // Діагноз – меломанія, в нас з вами – меломанія
We are sick with the same disease. // Fortunately no panacea for it hasn’t been discovered yet. // This vulnerable mania has fallen on my head like a rainfall. // The diagnosis is melomania. We all have melomania.
[Melomania: A singular passion for music, that is beyond all reason. An abnormal love of music. A hobby or even an excessive fanaticism for music.]
Люби вільно, цілуй поволі. // Прощай швидко, або ніколи. // Часу мало, маєш дійти. // Хочеш правди? Мусиш знайти. // Люди далi прокидаються. // Люди далi не ховаються. // Нова глибина напроти нас. // Отакий цiкавий час.
Love freely but kiss slowly. // Forgive faster or never know it. // There’s a few time for you to come // You need the truth so find it now. // People keeping waking up. // People no more hiding now. // There’s new deepness here ahead. // Interesting the time we have…
