Friday, April 24, 2015

Can’t believe I’m saying this…

i’m not gonna lie… this is hot (stolen from deviant art, artist judy depp)

I don’t know if I like my new job’s hours.

I work 7-3:30 and I should be LOVING it. It’s not like I never went into work at 7, and I tend to burn out by 3, so these hours should be perfect… but after three weeks, I’m struggling to get my body into the rhythm of the new hours.

I haven’t been doing anything with my Ukrainian. I’ve had to stop with the tutoring because the hours that work for me usually (due to the time difference) no longer work for me. I’ve been trying to find the motivation to go to the library between 3:30 - 5, but that’s missing, too. I’m not sure how to reboot myself, but it has to happen soon.

——

I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

For those of you who like a good ghost story—I had to find a letter referring to a benefit I received when my father passed away. It was not where it belonged. Not the safe, not the ‘active’ files in my office, and not in the ‘storage’ files upstairs. I looked EVERYWHERE. So, I pulled some file folders related to the estate that shouldn’t have had that letter in it…

As I’m looking through PAGES of documents and about to give up I hear my dad say, “It’s the next page.” (I shit you not. It was as clear as if he had been sitting next to me.)

It was. Tucked between a pissy letter to the Toledo Coroner’s office (long story) and the addendum to the death certificate. EXACTLY where it belonged. *grumble*

The longer version is that I needed proof that my father’s pension payments would come to me for the rest of my life. I don’t know why, but the bank was requiring it as part of our mortgage refinancing. I called to request the document (because I couldn’t find the original), but I needed it ASAP, so I went on the search. The letter I needed should have either been in my office or upstairs in storage… in a folder labelled “PENSION DOX”. It wasn’t.

As I’m going through my storage area, I find three different folders full of my father’s estate crap. I’m not sure how long I need to keep it (although we’re going on 14 years now), but I haven’t had the emotional strength to go through all of it. So… I’m going through literally hundreds of pages of legal documents, notes I’ve made, my father’s address book, his to-do lists, everything and anything that I accumulated as part of closing that chapter of my life.

I get about 3/4 of the way through, and I am DONE. I can’t look at another page of this stuff. It just hurts so much, you know? All the letters from the collection agencies (dead men don’t pay bills and their daughters can’t afford to pay them either), all the back and forth with the attorney, the absolutely TERRIBLE obituary my father’s siblings wrote…

So. Just as I decide the document is gone, and I’m going to have to wait for the company to get their shit together, I hear my dad say, “It’s the next page.” Like he was sitting right the fuck behind me. I could even smell him: shoe leather and cigarette smoke. I decide to trust him, because, when disembodied voices of long-dead people tell you to do shit, you do it.

I finish reading the letter a co-worker wrote on my behalf to the Toledo Coroner’s office about the rude asshole who gave me a hard time when I asked for a copy of some document the life insurance company needed, and there it was. In all it’s two-paged, scribbled on, glory.

Of all the places that document should have been, that was the last place it belonged. I don’t know how the fuck it wound up in there. It shouldn’t have wound up there. The last time I needed that document was when we moved to Da Brook, and I had to change the direct deposit information. All the direct deposit information was in the active folder in my office. By rights, or pure laziness, it should have been in there as well. Paper clipped to it. (And I do have a very distinct memory of actually paper clipping that shit together and putting it in the yellow file folder in my office.)

How the fuck did it end up in an orange folder, labelled “Dad’s Estate 2/3” in between the angry letter and the addendum to the death certificate? (And why wasn’t the addendum paper clipped to the original like it should have been?)

I really wish I knew… Thankfully, D.O.D. is still looking out for me.

Posted by Matty on 04/24 at 08:23 PM
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