Friday, August 09, 2013

SMERFs and Leslie’s Poo

poster designers are assholes

Now that I’ve gotten over the panic of finding a new job, and actually BEING at the new job, life is pretty damn good.

Here’s some quick snippets of life at the hotel / motel / Holiday Inn…

My official title is Assistant Corporate Controller, but when I write it down, I almost always write it as “Ass Controller.” I don’t know why I insist on forgetting that damn T every time, but I do.

One of our vendors, Leslie’s Poolmart, is in our software as Leslie’s Poo.

We had a reservation for a group listed as “New Englind Executive Ass”. I have no idea what they do, but I fucking LOVE the name. (Let’s just ignore the fact that the brain trust who booked the group in the system can’t spell New England.)

(Yeah… I’m 12 years old and laughing at ass and poop jokes.)

It is expensive to replace elevators. I mean, I know they’re not cheap - this is actually the second company I’ve worked for that’s installed new elevators - but it’s shocking when you have to write a check for six figures, which is only 40% of the total cost.

It’s also crazy expensive to be a franchisee of a brand name chain. The amount they charge us for the use of their name, among other brand specific things, is ridiculous.

SMERFs are a real thing! It’d be cooler if they were little blue creatures who live in mushrooms, but SMERFs are SMERFs.

I’m learning all kinds of exciting new things. The hospitality industry is like a gazillion different types of fascinating. So much goes into running a hotel that it’s insane… besides the meth lab in our HQ, I’ve heard stories of thieving housekeepers, domestic disturbances, trashed hotel rooms, shady front desk staff. Not necessarily at any of our hotels, but we did have a trashed room during my first or second week. That was pretty cool. OH! And the room next to ours? A car drove into it. Right through the fucking wall. (Long before I started, but that had to have been interesting.)

So yeah… now that life is calm, the bipolar is hibernating, and I’m generally feeling pretty damn chipper… I’m happy there and I can see myself there for a long time.

It took long enough.

It didn’t hurt that I got to see Black Mountain Symphony on Saturday, in Weedstock either. That was huge in putting my world right, as it always is.

Oh - let’s discuss the show, shall we?

I don’t know why, but Mike got the idea that he wanted to see me high. Like I’d be even more fun to be around. As if that were even possible!

That led to a confession to Rollz, that the closest I got I ever got to even thinking about getting high was when they were here on one of their road trips and it was me and him outside. I don’t know why I finally came clean. There’s just something about him… I even thanked him AGAIN for reading “Scott and Kate” and pushing me in the direction of reaching out to the Duke of Stud.

Someone once asked me if I had a thing for Rollz, and it’s not like that. He’s a nice guy, and there is a connection, but no. Just. No. There’s a lot to love about him (at least the bits I’ve been privvy to), but yeah. I’ll pass. I’m too old for that kind of shit.

Besides, if I’m going to waste my time worrying about a relationship that isn’t going to happen, I’m going to focus on Johnlock. (From the description of a fan fic I’ve bookmarked to read later: “because god dam in a row boat that man has the most delicious arse I have ever seen.” Come on! That’s so much better than worrying about whether or not I’m going to get it on with someone ten years younger than me who has a girlfriend. By the way, I am TOTALLY fucking stealing god dam in a row boat. That’s awesome.)

Speaking of relationships, “THIS WEEK: HARTFORD!!” (Part one of my Cabin Pressure ‘trilogy’ - which finally has a name!) is really, truly, almost ready for another round of editing. I did a little bit of a rewrite. OK. I did a LOT of a rewrite. This is a bigger bitch than writing a Sherlock case fic (and THAT is a right bitch, my friends). I wish I knew what drove me to write fan fic for Cabin Pressure. *sigh*

And on that note, I need to prep for GISHWHES. Misha changed things up and it starts on Sunday. (Instead of November…) SUNDAY! I’m not ready for that level of insanity. Wish me luck!!!

Posted by Matty on 08/09 at 09:26 PM
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