Wednesday, July 10, 2013

*happy dance*

oh, if my dad were alive, he’d totally do that.

I have a job.

I accepted it verbally this evening and I will send over the signed acceptance letter tomorrow.

Oh. My. Dog.




Posted by Matty on 07/10 at 08:30 PM
completely randomPermalink

That was easy.

cabinbatch! (also… dat ass! unf.)

I got an offer from the hotel chain.

Seeing how I probably won’t get the max from the work-from-home accounting company, that’s a huge point in the hotel’s favor. The difference between the max and the hotel’s offer is $1K. That’s it. I’d save $2,700 by not commuting, so it’s really boiling down to freedom, dress code, hours, and do I really want to work from home…

Looking back at my journal, I was kind of “eh” about the hotel job but in it’s defense, I was interviewing for positions I liked better. WAY better. It didn’t help when they hired within and I never heard anything from them. I’m feeling a little burned by that, but at least they realized they made a mistake. The title, though, the fucking title!!!! The office set up is pretty suite, too. (HA! Did you see what I did there? My office would be in a hotel room!)

I’m pretty sure I’m going to take the offer.

I already know a lot of what’s expected of me. I’ve already been given the power to make a major decision should I start. The only quibbling point is whether or not vacation days are based on the calendar year or your anniversary date. I’m going to London for New Year’s - that is non-negotiable - now that I know we have money coming in.

Did you hear that? I’M GOING TO LONDON FOR NEW YEAR’S!! Final-fucking-ly!!! I just wish I could have done it in April. When it mattered. But if wishes were fishes I’d starve to death because I don’t do seafood.

Where was I? Oh yeah…

As much as I like the idea of working from home, I don’t know if I can handle the reality of that being my life. I’m already twitchy being at home all day every day. Granted, I’d have stuff to do, but as an extroverted introvert, I do like being with people from time to time.

The only shitty thing about taking this job is that it’s a small, American, company. Oh well… the more I make, the more I can save, and the more trips to London I can make. *grin*

Posted by Matty on 07/10 at 03:16 PM
#threewordscompletely randomTravelPermalink

Any water left in that well?

The story is a sad one, told many times… the story of my life in trying times.

I’m reading a (painfully slowly updated) Cabin Pressure fan fiction full of Martin!whump. Basically, he’s all depressed and suicidal and Douglas comes to the rescue. While the author is talented, and the story is decent, I feel like they don’t get depression. Especially a suicidal depression.

You can’t just bounce back from wanting to kill yourself / jumping off a bridge as quickly as Martin seems to. At least, I can’t. It takes time, love, patience, love, and time. And patience. Did I say that already?

While I don’t want the author to have ever gone through what I have, I do believe in writing what you know. Research can only take you so far.

I’m not saying that I’m writing what I know (hello! gay sex!), but I’m touchy about people who write about mental illness. And yes, I’m a bazillionty hundred thousandy percent that there are gay men reading fan fic written by women who probably get pissed at unrealistic portrayals, too. Actually, I know for a fact that a gay guy took the time and wrote a guide on gay sex for fan fic authors… and I’m not ashamed to say I have it bookmarked. Just in case I want to pull a lemon out of my citrus pocket.

(I always feel like I need to preface shit like that with: “Pot. Kettle. Got it. Movin’ on.”)

But since I feel like the internet’s poster child for mental illness in my corner of the world, I want everyone to know exactly what it feels like to be suicidal. To plan the day you’re going to kill yourself. To face rushing water under a bridge and prepare to jump. I don’t want it glossed over which is what a lot of fiction writers do…

We’re never going to get the understanding, love, time and patience we need until people KNOW, until they get that punch in the gut that clues them into the fact that it’s not all in a depressed person’s head.

That this is real.

That this is painful.

That it fucking sucks.

I hate Martin!whump. I hate whump in all forms, so I’ll never write it, but damn, some days I want to.

Just so the authors can see how it really is.

Posted by Matty on 07/10 at 01:35 PM
#threewordsbipolarso many fandomsPermalink