Monday, June 17, 2013

The Gospel According to… Chuck.

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incestuous gay fanfiction, anyone?

Had a really bad night.

Jimmy the Pimp called when I was on the way to my workout.

Sig Fucking Sauer is STILL hiring for kick-ass accounting positions.

If I could just suck it up and sell my soul, I’d have a job a half hour from home in the income tax free state of New Hamster.

But instead, I just scheduled an interview at a huge telecom company in NEEDHAM, MA.

Look it up on Mapquest, sparky.

The beautiful town of Needham is - straight highway, no traffic - an hour and fifteen minutes from my little home in the shadow of The Nuke.

Let’s do the math, shall we?

The Shadow of the Nuke + straight trip down 95 - Boston traffic = 1.25 hours commute

I have people in the city proper chucking my resume into the bin because they’re worried about my commute.

This commute is going to be much worse.

I’m starting to wonder if he even looked at my resume…

Posted by Matty on 06/17 at 09:52 PM
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Case of the Mondays

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the best part of this show is that even the fans are on crack

I wish my drug dealer could explain to me why I go through TERRIBLE withdrawal when I take my happy pill late (or not at all). I slept in way too late this morning, and took my pills about three hours later than I used to when I worked. Normally, I’m only an hour late, but lately, I don’t give a fuck.

The only problem with not giving a fuck is that within a few hours, I do find myself giving a fuck.

A HUGE fuck.

The headache. The nausea. The sensitivity to light. It’s like a migraine, but it’s not. It’s a direct correlation of cause and effect, so I know it’s not a migraine. Luckily enough, OTC migraine meds do a decent job.

However, they haven’t taken the edge off yet, so I just want to curl up in a ball and die.

Taking today off the job search to do just that…

——

I was going through a bunch of photos this morning, looking for a few specific ones, and they’re not where they belong.

I had no ideas that pictures could up and walk away.

However, I found several family pictures that I didn’t know my mother took. I know she took them - outside of the obvious fact that she’s not in them - because of her fingers. I don’t know how many pictures I have of her fingers, but there are a lot of them. A metric shit ton of them.

Thankfully, the horrible photographer gene was not part of the genetic package she handed down.

I suppose it goes without saying that I’d rather have that than the bipolar.

——

Rewatching the remake of ‘Fright Night’ because David Tennant! And Anton Yelchin! I learned on tumblr that that’s the kid from the Star Trek reboot. I obviously don’t pay enough attention to movies when I watch them at home.

(The more time I spend on tumblr, the worse I get… I actually texted someone “Because fuck you. That’s why.” A perfectly sound response in that world. Not so much over here in the growed up/real world. My spelling is also getting worse. I! NEED! A!  JOB!)

(Also, while I’m speaking parenthetically about my newfound terrible grammar, I’d also like to apologize - AGAIN - to my British friends. Writing fan fic based on British radio and tv programmes is killing both my spelling and my vocabulary and my pronunciation. If we should ever cross paths in public again, I promise I’ll try to sound like an American instead of a jackass.)

——

Really bad insomnia last night led to this Facebook status:

The best part of being the only one awake? Getting to listen to J and Guinness. J’s mumbling something and Guinness is barking in his sleep. Could you imagine what those two are talking about?

G: BUNNIES! SQUIRREL! BUNNIES! BUNNIES!!!
J: Guinness, stawp it.
G: DAYCARE!! DAYCARE!!! SQUIRREL!!!
J: Guinness, shut up.
G: KITTY! BUNNY! SQUIRREL! DAYCARE!
J: Guinness, shut up. Now.
G: Squirrel?

I love those guys. They’re always good for some comic relief.

Posted by Matty on 06/17 at 12:03 PM
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