Wednesday, May 15, 2013

See? I’m not so weird after all.


i have found my people!

Dropping this here so I don’t lose the link later… (aren’t you glad this blog has become a catch-all for my BBC obsession?)

How awesome is this list?I LOVE the fact that “Fuck you, I won a BAFTA” is on here.

Posted by Matty on 05/15 at 05:01 PM
so many fandomsPermalink

Best. Husband. Evar.


i believe the phrase is either “hng” or “unf”

The husband is willingly taking me to see Star Trek Into Darkness because of my obsession with this fine man. Neither one of us have any interest in Star Trek, even though Quinto’s in it (and also the adorable Chris Pine… how has he not been on my radar?!?).


I’ve been down in the dumps and it will give me a few hours of Benedistraction.

And he knows it, so he’ll suffer through my ridiculous fangirling every time the Cumbercutie is on screen.

He’s pretty awesome (my husband, not the Cumberbabe, although…) and some days I really wonder why he still hangs around here. I would have left a long time ago.


Posted by Matty on 05/15 at 10:11 AM
completely randomPermalink

Monday, May 13, 2013

Fizz! Buzz! ‘Ave a banana!



Parts like this are EXACTLY why “Cabin Pressure” has become my New Favorite Thing.

I listened to all four series and the Christmas Special this past weekend when I drove to Albany and back… and we’re not even going to talk about how many times I’ve listened to bits and pieces of it since it fell on my radar.

Here’s a link to it on tumblr so you can hear the audio.

When people ask me why I love SPN…


this is one of my favorite scenes. ever.

I started watching Supernatural because, well, two hot boys!

Then, the show turned into something more than just an hour of tv a week…

The fan base became a family. A sometimes dysfunctional family, but still a family.

We’ve moved mountains when we’ve needed to: winning awards for the cast, raising thousands for charities the cast believes in, sending metric ass-tons of rubber ducks to Vancouver just because we can, and following Misha Collins on a journey of creativity never before imagined. Did I mention we pissed Twitter off? (I can’t remember now, but I think the hashtag was #LuciferIsComing.)

Then, I attended two SPNCons…

I was actually moved to tears at BOSCON when I saw how much actors who were on like one episode appreciated the fans. And we love them back. We miss them. We start petitions to have them return to the show.

When I get upset, lonely, depressed, etc. SPN offers me an escape by allowing me to follow two brothers whose lives are much more fucked up than mine. Maybe that’s shitty, but at least I take pleasure from watching fictional characters suffer instead of people.

The writing too - the writing on this show is amazing. On tumblr, the SPN fandom plays a lot of “is this actual dialogue or not?” We also play “is this a scene or a gag reel outtake?” (Hint: it’s almost ALWAYS from the show, never a gag reel.)

While I’m on the topic of the writing… Destiel, dude. Fucking Destiel. There was a lot of wank about a fan’s treatment at NJCON this year because they brought up bisexuality during Jensen’s panel. The question was never heard by Jensen - the fan was yanked out of line specifically because talking about Destiel makes him uncomfortable. It’s not that he, personally, is uncomfortable with homo/bisexuality, but he’s uncomfortable with the way the fandom obsesses over his character’s relationship with another male character. (And let’s not even bring up wincest. It’s exactly what it sound like. *shudders*)

I don’t care who you are, or what you’re into, but if you watch the relationship between Dean and Castiel develop over the seasons… dude, that’s love right there. Regardless of what the fandom does with it, that is some serious bromance. It’s such an important part of the mythology of the show, it’s become canon and occasionally, the writers, Jensen and Misha will toss the fandom a bone. It’s never been more clear than it was during last week’s episode. Cas buys Dean a pr0n mag and goes postal on a store clerk because he doesn’t have any pie. (Dean and pie, man, that’s another OTP… to be dissected on another day.)

I’ve been watching the marathons on TNT every morning while I look for a job. After I do that, I get on tumblr and spend time with my SPN family.

It makes me feel better, not that much can right now, but it does a little bit.

I’ll take what I can get… and did I mention? Two. Hot. Boys.

Posted by Matty on 05/13 at 02:07 PM
so many fandomsPermalink

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother’s Day and blow jobs


here’s some matt smith to break up the sherlock / cumberpr0n

“But you know who else deserves it?  The women who have struggled to be, or are still struggling to be moms.  The women who want children but just aren’t in a safe place in life to have them.  The women who don’t want kids and have to listen to a bunch of bullshit about how you’re only worthwhile if you’ve pushed a human out of your vagina.  The women who miss the children they once had.  The women who miss the children they lost before they ever met them.  The women who gave up their children so their child could have a better life than they could provide.  The women who were raised motherless, or with shitty mothers, or who have lost their mothers and are reminded of how alone they feel.  Mother’s Day is a confusing, weird, very-seldom-wrapped-up-with-a-nice-commercial-bow sort of day, and as for me, I salute you all – mothers or not…you’re here.  You’re alive.  You continue to survive.  You are worthwhile and wonderful.  Never forget that.” - The amazing Jenny Lawson

Whether it’s about depression, anxiety, or Mother’s Day, a woman I’ve only met once (and for 5 minutes if that) continues to tell me what I need to hear even when I don’t know I need to hear it.


We all know I’m not quiet about the fact that my mother died. That she made my life miserable. Or even that she’s been gone for too many years for my feelings about her to remain this unresolved…

Suffice it to say, I fucking HATE Mother’s Day.

A guy I know, a really young kid, texted me today and wished me a happy Mother’s Day. Even though he picked my brain about The Crazy frequently, I don’t think we ever talked about the choice I made to be child-free. THAT’S not really ever a topic up for discussion.

You want to know about the bipolar? About my fucked up relationship with my mother? About my weird obsession with Johnlock and the actors who fleshed out the characters so brilliantly? Even my quasi-self-harming?

Open. Book.

But kids? Not so much.

Honestly, I’d rather spend hours talking to you about why so many pr0ny fanfic writers never have their characters swallow. Seriously. (This topic REALLY bothered me this morning. Like REALLY bothered me. Ask J. I wouldn’t stop talking about it, and I’m still really curious.)

Wait. What?

How the hell did I go from being all “I hate Mother’s Day” to talking about blow jobs?

Yet another one of life’s great mysteries…

Let’s get back on track, shall we?

There’s been a couple of things going on this week that have pushed this to the forefront.

1) A’s text.

2) MKS’ post about being child-free and why it’s nobody’s fucking business.

3) The actual holiday

4) Having a recruiter tell me that the photo on this entry shouldn’t be my profile picture on LinkedIn because “it might send the wrong message”.

5) The sad fact that there are so many members of The Dead Parents Club and that the majority of them are missing their mothers today.

6) Picking up the “Wonderful Wallaby” again… which inspired this Facebook status: I’m knitting a “Wonderful Wallaby” for a little person who honestly melts my heart in a way no child has ever been able to.

7) Realizing that this July marks four years of friendship with Black Mountain Symphony, and remembering C-Rollz’ reaction when I told him kids were never going to happen.

And you know what?

I started writing this entry to talk about why being motherless and child-free on Mother’s Day sucks. (Even though I’ve got “kids”, they’re always brushed off because they’re “just” animals.)

Only to discover that I STILL don’t want to talk about it.

Blow jobs, however?

Fair game.

Posted by Matty on 05/12 at 05:01 PM
#threewordscompletely randomFriendsPermalink
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