Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Real life example

Today I woke up to R.E.M.‘s “Everybody Hurts”.

Specifically, the lyric “Everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends.” Seriously. That’s the first thing I heard. The timing was ridiculously perfect.

My brain automatically started in:
- What friends? You don’t have any friends.

- When was the last time you heard from any of your so-called friends? That’s right. Forever ago.

- They don’t like you. They never liked you.

- They only hung out with you out of pity because you’re pathetic.

- Tell the truth: you’re skipping the party because you know you only got invited because they felt they had to.

- The comment to “Leave your drama at the door” was meant for you and you only.

- They don’t want to deal with you and your shit.

- You’re alone, alone, alone.

So far, I haven’t been able to shut the voices up.

It’s affecting my work big time today, and I want to go home early because I’m sick.

But I’m not physically sick, so I’m going to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

Because that’s what we depressed people do.

We hide how we’re really feeling.

We don’t want to burden anyone.

We don’t want them to pity us and give the voices reason to gloat.

Posted by Matty on 12/11 at 10:45 AM