Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The floodgates have indeed been opened

Being forced to confront some pretty nasty demons is painful enough as it is.

Then you add to the mix:
Missed opportunities. Pain. Heartache. Two felony charges. A new wife/stepchildren.

All of those make this so much harder than it needs to be.

But I knew this would be bad… very, very, very bad.

And I wish I had someone I could talk to about it.

I need to work it out in my head, but I need a sounding board.

A friend who can kick me in the ass and shrink me.

*sigh*

ETA: It’s not so much that I don’t have friends. At least, I think I have some left since I started the Great Pull Away during The Amazingly Long and Wonderful Depression Cycle of 2011… It’s just that due to the severity of this, there’s no one I feel comfortable asking for help from. In addition, due to the lingering feelings, it’s not like I can turn to J. I think that crosses a line or two - for my more conservative readers, I suppose it’s almost like cheating. Everyone knows you don’t admit to it until you’re caught in the act…