Thursday, June 24, 2010

I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never really ever there at all…

The beautiful thing about blogging is that, no matter what you write, you can reach people.

The shitty thing about blogging is that, no matter what you write, you can reach people.

Unless you specifically call someone out and say, “X, you blah blah blah turnip an octopus”, everyone will think they’re “X”. Shit, everyone will think they’re “X” anyway, like “X” is a code name for them. Even if they’ve never turniped an octopus. Having the entire world think they were “X” never bothered me before. I used to be brave. Fearless. Stupid. Reckless. Back in those days, blogging was awesome. I felt like I was doing some of my best writing.

Whatever it was - good, bad, ugly, riot inducing - it was real.

Now, I’m tiptoeing around.  I’m afraid to say what’s on my mind because I know someone will take it wrong.

I don’t know when I started to care, but it’s gotten old.

There was a blog entry I wanted to post, badly. I needed the closure that putting it out for the world to see would give me. (Nothing’s real unless it’s on teh intarweb, right?) But, I can’t. Too many people would think it’s about them. Some of them would be right… and I don’t need that level of drama.

I’m not working nearly as much as I had been and I’ve found that the fencing is great mental and physical exercise. I’m spending less time on the computer after work and I don’t find myself missing it nearly as much as I thought I would. All around me, things are changing…

changing.

I’m happy with who I am and where I am right now. 

I’m - dare I say it? - enjoying my life.

I’ve been bouncing around for the last two weeks after I realized that I can do s00per d00per wicked FUN things this weekend. Tomorrow, I’m off to Albany to hang out with Annie, Bear, Bill, Chris, and Orion (aka Black Mountain Symphony). Saturday, I’m CT bound- I’ll spend the day lounging around and visiting some of my favorite haunts before heading into the Insurance Capital of the World to hang out with Soup and Skinny.

Two days, two of my favorite bands, and a whole lotta highway.

I couldn’t ask for anything more.