life in a brOTP

New message from [some person I used to know]: xxx-xxx-xxxx

—-

There’s been too many spaces in our togetherness. Our relationship is defined by separation. By silences. - Megan McCaffery (Fourth Comings)

—-

The silence has been broken.

Martin Freeman’s tongue: an appreciation post

i swear to dog, there needs to be a tumblr blog dedicated to nothing but freeman’s tongue…

Didn’t get the job I wanted, but I have an interview tomorrow and a phone interview on Tuesday.

I don’t know about other states, but filing an unemployment claim in NH is a pain in the ass. Do you know how many places I send my resume to on a daily basis?!?! I had like five screens worth of data. It was that ridiculous.

So much I want to vent about… but I’m pretty proud of myself for submitting this cover letter, so I’ll block out the ick with proof of my insanity. I’ve honestly never seen a job posting online that would merit some sort of response like this, but I’m glad the creative part of my brain came out to play. I’m even happier that it worked in my favor. Have a phone screen next Tuesday.

To whom it may concern,

Despite your request for a lengthy cover letter, I promise to keep it short in order to make sure you actually read my letter instead of falling asleep. I’m sure you’ve received thousands of cover letters that all say the same thing, so please indulge me while I endeavor to make my boring cover letter stand out in the massive sea of paperwork you’ve been swallowed by,.

I would LOVE to work in the beautiful city of Haverhill, MA! It’s my favorite place on earth! (That’s pronounced Hay-ver-hill, correct?) I would be unbelievably thrilled to work for a company that is stable and has a great team of people to work with. I would especially love having to attach a coversheet to my TPS report. I really hope that’s part of your culture, because I love TPS reports as much as I love Haverhill, MA!

Let’s see… It’s probably time to be a little serious. I have over 10 years of accounting experience ranging from A/P to A/R, month and year end closes, analysis of balance sheet accounts, blah, blah blah. You have asked for specifics, so by the end of 3 months, I shall have achieved dominance over the general ledger and made it my pet. By the end of 6th months, I will have finished streamlining any systems that may have some drag to them. I hate drag. It slows me down. By the end of 12 months, you will be wondering how you lived without me.

Basically, I am definitely qualified for the job because I will make that general ledger bow to my will. Let me prove to you just how much I rock during the course of an interview. I was laid off from my previous employer, so I can start within the next thirty five minutes if that suits your needs. (It’s about a half hour drive from the glow-in-the-dark town of da ‘brook, so I will need a little bit of a buffer. I get lost. A lot.)

By the way, I have an excellent sense of humor and play well with others.

It definitely was a huge risk, but it paid off. My dad would be so proud…

Cuter than a kitten

can’t. handle. the. cuteness.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I HATE applying for jobs in this brave, new, world. Yeah, the internet makes it easier for HR / recruiters, but it’s a bitch for job hunters. Why do I have to fill out twenty screens about my work history, etc. when it’s all in my resume? I swear, they must make it near impossible for the unemployed to apply just so they can limit the number of applicants.

The good news, if there is any, is that I’ve found a few international companies to apply for. The other good news is that I have the time to do nothing but take over an hour to fill out one freaking job application on line.

I don’t know… I’ve had some interesting positions placed in front of me from some different recruiters. Maybe there’s a light at the end of the (very short?) tunnel. I don’t know yet…

—-

I had to cancel my plans to go to London for Nick’s wedding. It was too expensive to fly overseas and since I wanted to pay for everything the day it went on the card, it would have eaten up cash reserves we may need until I can find a job. I guess I’m glad we waited for the invite before we solidified our plans… I didn’t want to go into debt for this especially since I don’t know if we’d even be able to make the minimum card payments…

I also quit the Muchachos this morning. Not a happy decision and not a quick one. The bass line never had the same line up, we only met once every two weeks, and it’s hard to practice (let alone memorize) when you don’t have the passion. I’ve been frustrated since our second rehearsal, and it’s just not fun for me. It breaks my heart to make this choice, too, but I just don’t care anymore. I’d chalk it up to post job-loss depression, but this started back in November. I feel bad that I’m letting them down… I really am. We have two big parades coming up this month, but I just can’t find the energy to even care that I’m letting them down. (“Oh! Look! There goes the last fuck I give!” as the kids on tumblr say.)

I’m cutting friends out of my life because they can’t bother to be there when I need them (see yesterday’s entry), so why should I keep anything else in my life that doesn’t bring me joy?

—-

Also, anytime I see Bibbety Bobbety Chumbawumba’s real name, a certain song plays on my iPod / iTunes, and once in a restaurant. WTF, universe? Those days are LONG past. Can you give up on the torture now? Cumberbabe’s not even related to that time period… they just happen to share three letters! Three stupid, insignificant letters. Grrrrrr…

 

I’ve never filed for unemployment before…

yup. pretty much sums up me right now (by the way, he’s an adorable hedgehog, ain’t he?)

About two weeks ago, I said Yeah, so the decision I’ve been putting off was pretty much made for me today. Fuck.

I saw the writing on the wall. They were hiring an Assistant GM. The piles of work I had dried up. I hadn’t had a raise since 2010.

But, I foolishly believed it would be different. I gave them three years (probably 4 if you count all the overtime I put in), almost wound up in a psych ward because I was afraid to let them down, and kept the company together during some of the worse bullshit I’ve ever seen.

I’m so glad I started looking for a job a few weeks ago, I’m so glad they gave me a severance package, and I’m so glad to be the fuck out of there.

I haven’t been happy for a long time, but I stuck through the crap because I thought it would be worth it…

... and it wasn’t. It so totally wasn’t.

C’est la vie

Time to move on to bigger and better things.

*FLINGS STUFF*

red nose day! it’s a thing!

On the left is my current Facebook profile pic. (That’s important.) On the right is this year’s Red Nose Day David Tennant pic.

Let’s talk, shall we?

I’ve mentioned before (In a few places) that the opening credits of “Sherlock” make me a bit homesick. I can’t explain why, except for the fact that London always calls to me. It doesn’t matter how many times I want to go somewhere else, I wind up in London. It’s like home to me in many of the same ways that Boston is.

Suddenly the joke that I’m moving to London to open a platypus farm has not become a joke. (Well, the platypus farm is questionable, but the move is apparently going to happen.) This year’s theme seems to be that anything I put out into the universe is going to come back to me in spades. It’s kind of scary actually.

The one person I would have expected to talk me out of it is FOR it. Yeah. Instead of telling me how fucking insane that idea is, he’s all in.

What. The. Everloving. Fuck. Is. Going. On. Here.

Oh, yeah. We’re planning to move. TO LONDON.

I don’t have a time frame other than there’s some stuff I need to do in the States before this can become real, but that seems to be the path my life is taking.

I’m both excited, and scared shitless, but I’m going along for the ride.

It’s meant to be. Especially when weird ass coincidences like this one show up on Facebook:

M: L went to London on business Wednesday and brought noses home for all the kids… Love Red Nose Day!

M: Here he is with one of this year’s noses (there are three different dinosaur-themed ones this year - he is wearing T-Spex)

Me: That’s beautiful!

Me: Wait. Red Nose Day is a thing? I LOVE the UK!!

M: Oh yeah it is!!! It is Comic Relief - “Do Something Funny For Money” - March 15th is THE day this year, but there are also all sorts of events leading up to it. In the even years they do Sports Relief, where all the celebs do crazy physical challenges (David Walliams swimming the Thames or Eddie Izzard running 43 marathons in 52 days). But Red Nose/Comic Relief is in the odd years - one of my FAVORITE nights of television since moving to Europe!!! Here is the link to the trailer:

M: I think I like it even better though that you didn’t know it was a thing, and just liked having a picture of ten with a clown nose. And happened to put it up at exactly the right time of year…

Me: See? I am MEANT to move overseas!!! It’s a sign from a very cute Time Lord!!

Then, there was a conversation on FB about this becoming real, and Mark said how he and Wendy take an organic view of things - fling something out there and see if it sticks. (It worked in their case - they met online, got married, and now she’s in the UK with him.)

It should be no surprise to anyone that my new thing is *FLINGS STUFF*, because the more I put out into the universe, the more it’s going to come back to me. I’m going to be flinging stuff like a madwoman. Something will stick and we’ll be packing up our lives in the States. Eventually.

—-
In other news, I’m going to Connecticon this summer with a girl I met through GISHWHES. I’m going to cosplay! I have no idea as to what Connecticon actually is, or who I’m going to dress up as, but hey! I’m only going to live once and well… FRIENDS is one of this year’s three words. After the way Team Fancypants bonded, K is definitely a friend.

Make new friends and toss the old… well, some of them. Others are worth keeping around.