I owe Eminem an apology

April 18, 2024 :: 10:10 PM

I’m a candle; I’ll go out if you blow me

So, yeah.


I didn’t give him enough credit when The Slim Shady EP dropped, but fuck, he gets it all and more now.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoy the way he plays with words. The way they fit his mouth, dance over the track, just… everything.

This song right now is on repeat.  Ed Sheeran’s chorus is spot on, the word play, and the emotion that comes across in that one “FUCK!” (you’ll know when you hear it)—Absolute perfection. Every single second of it.

(TW: abortion)



- - - - - - - - - - - -

Two weekends ago, I spent three amazing days with my little brother.

I hadn’t realised how much I needed to see him until that first hug in Epcot.

I was the first friend he ever brought home from college and, apparently, I’m the only one that stuck around.

There’s so much I can say about that… but I’m not ready to discuss it. Yet.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I hired a photographer to do a Dopey medal photo shoot at Uni. It was a birthday present to myself, but I didn’t splurge - I hired a person who took photos as a hobby so that she could build out her portfolio and… I’m not happy with about 99% of them, but this one came out exactly as I imagined it! Well… if the medals were in focus, maybe.


March 24, 2024 :: 2:02 PM

if people are scouring my search history, they should be very concerned

Two weekends, two races, two very different results.

Last weekend was a 10K and I was Dead Fucking Last. So far in the back that they left the timing mat down and one girl stood there with one solitary medal for me.

This weekend, I attempted a half marathon and Did Not Finish. In my defense, I really had to pee.

This race was two loops, so I passed the starting / finish line twice before looping back for the final crossing. This is important.


There was not a single port-a-pottie on the race course. NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE.

It wasn’t bad enough that I was so far in the back, they had pulled down the timing mat at the halfway point. I was so far back that the cops forced me onto the sidewalk (Which, thanks, Doral. You’ll be getting my bill from the ER for the broken ankle.) I was so far back that near the halfway point, all the water stations within three miles were poofed. I was so far back that the cops were gone after I turned back for the final five miles.

I was so far back that I decided to pee instead of crossing the finish line.

Hear me out.

When I got to the finish line with three miles still to go, the clock read 3 hours and they were starting to tear it down. I finish in 4 right now.

Near the finish line is the one and only public restroom on the entire course.

My choices were absolutely ridiculous:

1) pee my pants, finish in four hours, but not cross the timing mat (DNF)

2) step off the course, take my pee, finish in 4:15, but not cross the timing mat (DNF)

3) walk down the finisher’s chute, pull my bib off, head to the bathroom before crossing the timing mat, pee, and go home. (DNF)

Option 3 was my best one, I’m sad to say. 

Did I say I really had to pee?

I went over to the official timer - after I went to the loo, of course - and told them if they were waiting for me, I wasn’t finishing.

Do you know what he said?

He said that they could leave the timing mat down if I wanted to finish, but they had to clear the road. That’s why they were tearing everything down.

Well, fuck me.

Honestly, I don’t regret my decision. I made it based on the knowledge available to me 10 miles in and with a full bladder.

I am writing to the race director, though.

1) I know I’m slow, but tearing down the finish line at the three hour mark of a half marathon AND NOT POSTING THAT THERE IS A TIME LIMIT is just rude. I would have never signed up if I knew I had to run a 3/3:30. That’s not possible right now. (Maybe they don’t actually have a time limit, because I was allowed to continue. I just lost all race support.)

2) You honestly can’t expect people to go 13 miles without a bathroom break. The 5 and 10Ks at Disney always have lines at the port-a-potties and public restrooms and those are less than half of a half marathon.

The funny / sad thing about this is that I never have to pee during a race. NEVER.

Well, never say never.

But on the flip side, my PHRC shirt made me a new friend. She was an Eagle, but she didn’t make the transition to the FRC. I can’t say I blame her, but it was nice to put the name to the face. We run a lot of the same races, so it will be nice to know someone at the races, even though she smoked me right off the start line.

Aaaaaand, speaking of the FRC, I’M GOING TO DETROIT!

(Who the fuck is ever excited about going to Detroit?)

I’m meeting up with my pocket friends and we’re going to run the Freep Marathon Weekend.

I’m actually running the International Half Marathon, 5K, and one miler.


I posted a picture of my renewed passport with the caption: I’M GOING TO DETROIT! and um, yeah. There was one comment on the status questioning my sanity, but I actually received several DMs asking me if I was OK.

Oh, I am so far from OK… but that’s not related to this.

Also related to FRC - I just did a Battle. Finished with 89 miles over 10 days. I capped three times. We won the race (wooo!!!!), but the best part of all of it was my team. I haven’t been on a team that gave me the warm and fuzzies in a long time. 

Oh, did I mention? The course for Battle took us from Erie, PA through Canada, Detroit, Northern Ohio (Toledo, Sandusky, etc.), and back to Erie. Toledo was… fun. Nothing like reliving some of the worst years of my life.

I have stories about stuff and things and I’m not in the right headspace to talk about them right now.

Seems to be the story of my life.

I can part with this, though:

March 18th was the 32nd anniversary of my mother’s death.

She died when I was 16.

She has been dead for double the amount of time she was in my life.

Talk about a mindfuck.

I had a feeling I could be someone

February 10, 2024 :: 8:40 PM


I cannot stop listening to this.

Chills and tears. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Also, I hit 60 miles for the month today. Definitely going to make it to 200 at this rate.

But I hate running, so I’m not excited by that at all.


Oh, Christ.

February 03, 2024 :: 5:58 PM

I am in this picture and I don’t like it.


Dopey to Dumbo is done.

Next up is a 5K in Boca tomorrow, then the Live Like Bella 5K at the same place the Miami Turkey Trot is held, and then the A1A Half Marathon in Fort Lauderdale, and THEN, it’s (virtual) Princess Weekend.

God, I really hate running.


Why the fuck do I do this to myself?

Apparently, I’m a masochist.

Here’s how absolutely fucking ridiculous I am:

I signed up for the first FRC Rumble of the new year. A Rumble is different from Battle of the Fandoms - Rumble is a month-long event where there are small teams and every member has their own cap. Battle is a 10 day free-for-all with a 15m/day cap. I’ve also signed up up for Fans Run the World, which is year-round, 366 mile loop, with a 15 mile cap.

I’ve got the 10K cap right now. I’m almost done with my first week and I have done a 10K every single day so far.

I ended January with 100 racery miles. 111.2 in real miles. (I couldn’t count the extra 11.2 of the marathon because it wasn’t done IRL.)

I’m aiming to continue at least a 10K every day in February because it’s hard, and we aren’t afraid to do the hard things. At least, that’s according to my DFF Fam.

I’m already burned out. The only thing that is pretty much keeping me going right now is I want to hit 200 miles in February. It is highly possible. If I stick to the miles as scheduled, I’ll hit 193. I can find an extra 7 miles in there. 2 extra miles a week…

I mean, fuck, if I’m doing 6 miles a day, what’s another 2 during the week? I already did that once to hit the 100 mile mark for January.


There’s something wrong with me.

One. And. Done.

January 20, 2024 :: 6:12 PM

I am officially Dopey.

I’ve managed to put on a bit of weight and forgotten how to breathe. Either one would spell trouble for my running ‘career’, but both is…

Well, let’s put it this way: if I want to finish a Disney race, I will have to run it somewhere that is NOT Disney.

So, I got the absolutely ridiculous idea to sign up for ALL the Disney virtual races this year. (Bye-bye Christmas bonus.)

The first race weekend of 2024 is Marathon. This is the first Marathon Weekend I have not run in person since 2020 and it sucks.

But, the flip side?

17 hours on the treadmill (TEN HOURS JUST FOR THE MARATHON. TEN HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and 48.6 miles on my feet mean that I have, finally, killed the Dwarf.

I have now officially completed the Dopey Challenge and can die a very, very, very happy (and very, very, very tired) person.

I still can’t believe it.

As if Dopey weren’t enough of an endurance challenge, I ended up doing the Disneyland Half Marathon weekend as well.

Dopey to Dumbo.

So I went from 48.6 to 22.4 - the Disneyland 5K and the Dumbo Double Dare Challenge (10K + half).

That’s 71 miles on the treadmill on back to back weekends.

That’s…. a lot.

Next up is Princess - all three races again.

I can guarantee that even if I ever get back into running shape, I will never run that one at Disney.

I also have three IRL runs scheduled for February: 2 5Ks and a half.

I keep saying that I hate running and I never want to do it again, but apparently I don’t listen to myself.

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